May We Together
by SilverSentinal21
Summary: AU A more in-depth in logical development of the intriguing relationship of Trip and T'Pol as well as the plot and characters of the show. Warning: If you like strict canon compliance move on. TATV will never exist.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Star Trek, I do own my Original Characters please don't steal them.**

**AN: If anyone has read this story on Triaxian Silk and worry it might have been stolen, fear not. I am the author who started this story 10 years ago and finally decided to go at it again. I have given it quite a trim to de-bloat it and correct some terrible techincal mistakes. Hopefully, the changes make the theme clearer and better to read.**

* * *

Anyone observing _Enterprise_ as it glided gracefully in orbit over the majestic red planet of Vulcan, would see nothing unusual. During the last four years, the men and women who served aboard her became more than a crew of colleagues, but a close-knit family triumphing under adversity humanity never dreamed of. Their bonds of fidelity ran deep, and now the ship resonated with the grief all felt for two of their own. Commander Charles Tucker, and Commander T'Pol of Vulcan, lost their child. A daughter created without their knowledge or consent, by humans who sought to undo everything that _Enterprise_ stood for. The entire crew mourned the brief innocent life baby Elizabeth, and raged at the violation endured by her parents, who sacrificed so much for the ship and crew, and the peace of their worlds. In them, the crew of _Enterprise_ saw the reasons why they continued with their mission of exploration. They foreshadowed the best of the future as humanity began to take its place among the stars.

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed looked down from a large window in the mess, over Vulcan, in awe of its harsh beauty and juxtaposition of the planet and its people. Out of violent sands and harsh heat, a people once warlike and as dangerous as their surroundings changed into a people of peace, tranquility, and logic. Malcolm found something poetic in the contrast, but its beauty seemed out-of-reach. Sighing, he rested his head against the window organizing his thoughts. _'How could I not have seen this coming?'_ he thought to himself._ 'Masaro'_ That name even in his mind left a bitter taste in Malcolm's mouth. Not only because he'd never suspected the Ensign's betrayal, but because of his suicide. _'Another failure,'_ his mind taunted. Justice could never be served now; he couldn't even give his friends that._ 'What kind of Tactical Officer am I?'_ Malcolm suppressed the urge to beat his fists against the window. It simply wouldn't do to have the few crewmen also in the mess to see a senior officer give in to his rage and breakdown in such a matter.

Charles "Trip" Tucker the Third, became the best friend he'd ever had in his life. He hardly believed they had formed their friendship in that bloody shuttle-pod and nearly froze to death. Through most of the ordeal, he restrained himself from physically assaulting his superior officer. Somehow, beyond every law of probability, the obnoxious southern man blasted away years of walls and defenses, Malcolm built around himself, as if armed with Klingon photon torpedoes. When he opened himself up, Malcolm saw the real Trip Tucker, instead of the obnoxious Yank who teased and provoked him. He saw a man of superlative loyalty, honor, and self-sacrificing to a fault. Thanks to Trip's tenacity, he gained a friend as dear to him as his flesh and blood.

He also felt a certain kinship as well as an attraction to T'Pol in the beginning. He understood her need to hold herself back from others, her dedication to rules and protocols; also, intimately familiar with the feeling of being an outsider. Over the years, he developed a superior working relationship with her and valued her loyalty and respect. While his attraction to her thankfully dissipated, warm feelings remained. His heart broke for her loss. Seeing her hold the tiny baby in her arms left no doubts about her maternal attachment to her child.

'It isn't bloody fair!' Malcolm's mind raged. Out of the whole crew, nobody had endured more tragedies, and hardships, than Trip and T'Pol. Trip lost his sister to the Xindi, and T'Pol lost her mother to a Vulcan revolution. They each had been injured, captured, tortured. They had fought deadly illnesses, they had been violated mentally, physically, emotionally, until seemingly nothing more could be taken from them. Throughout it all no two people sacrificed more for their ship and the people on it. Now to be violated by one of their own, and to lose their daughter due to blind hatred; was there no end to their suffering?_ 'I couldn't keep them safe. What if I can't keep this from happening again?'_ Malcolm wished he could shut his mind up. These thoughts were getting him nowhere.

"Beautiful isn't it?" A soft feminine voice said, as if coming out of nowhere.

Years of training kept Malcolm from reacting to be startled out of his thoughts. "Yes, Hoshi, it's very beautiful."

Hoshi knew she startled him she saw the tightening of his jaw even only for an instant. She debated on whether to seek him out, but decided she had no choice. She counted herself fortunate to be one of the few people he allowed into his inner circle. She knew him well, he blamed himself for not suspecting Masaro's treachery, and hated not being able to protect Trip and T'Pol from it. She also knew that someone had to make Malcolm see reason, help him to stop allowing guilt to consume him. He would also listen to her, her job made people listen. Malcolm respected that. "I'm sorry I startled you, Malcolm. You were so deep in your thoughts, and I know you've been torturing yourself. You know you can't help Trip and T'Pol by hurting yourself," her words were firm, but her tone contained both determination and deep compassion.

"Hoshi, I failed them! I failed in my duty to protect this ship and its crew from every danger thrown at it. I can't just take it lightly or _"get over it"_ I'm not made that way!" Malcolm struggled to keep his voice down, his accent more pronounced as the words rushed out.

"Malcolm, you could not have seen this coming. Even if we had known about Terra Prime, we had no reason to suspect anyone on this ship would work for them, let alone Masaro. You couldn't have known he would steal genetic material or kill himself. This is not your fault," Hoshi reached for Malcolm's hand, putting as much force into her words as she could.

"Hoshi, I was trained to notice these things. I know about these terrorist groups, I even infiltrated them in my old life. After we got back from the Expanse, I should have seen this coming. I should have done a more thorough job of screening the new crew, Masaro should have never set foot on this ship. That is on my head Hoshi," Malcolm sighed.

"No, it's not. Starfleet Command was aware of Terra Prime, it should have been screening for sympathizers. If anyone has been negligent in protecting us, it's them. Malcolm, both Trip and T'Pol would be telling you the same thing. You know this, please stop doing this to yourself," Hoshi voice began to tremble slightly. She felt despair at the pain he was in.

* * *

"Listen to the lady, Malcolm, you know she's a heck of a lot smarter than you are," this time Malcolm and Hoshi both were surprised by a warm southern accent.

"Trip! We haven't seen you in days," Malcolm stood and clapped a hand on his friend's uninjured shoulder.

"T'Pol and I have been meditating, it helps a lot. Now that we're in orbit, I had to come and find you both. You know it's not every day I can sneak up on you two. Hoshi you've got the second-best pair of ears on the ship, and you're usually much more paranoid Mal," he tried to comfort them with levity.

"How can we help, Trip?" Hoshi asked. She knew that after the ceremony on Earth, T'Pol would need time in private to grieve, and she knew that Trip would stay by her side. Curious as to why Trip needed her and Malcolm. Vulcan death rituals were extremely intimate.

"Well, you both know we're here to bury Elizabeth," Trip choked on the word bury and his baby girl's name. "A full Vulcan ceremony is being held at mount **Seleya** and T'Pol and I want you to be there," he said quietly.

"Of course!" Malcolm and Hoshi said in unison.

"Thanks, I know it's a lot to ask. The first time was bad enough, but you both mean so much to T'Pol and I. It wouldn't be right for you not to be there. Especially since we were going to ask you both to be Elizabeth's **en'ahr'at**," Trip's words continued to get softer. He knew he was getting close to breaking down, and he turned to stare out the window.

"Trip, what does **en'ahr'at** mean?" Malcolm asked, stumbling over the unfamiliar term.

"It's similar to being godparents, Malcolm," Hoshi answered, for Trip. She didn't know what shocked her more, the fact that both he and T'Pol prepared to bestow that honor on them, or his flawless pronunciation of the Vulcan word. He admitted his poor ability at languages.

Malcolm stood there in a state of shock. He loved Trip like a brother, but he would have never expected him to entrust his child to him. He certainly never thought T'Pol would agree to it. He was completely unqualified for such an honor, not to mention Trip was close to his family, and T'Pol must have some extended family as well. His pain at Elizabeth's loss intensified, but he welcomed it. He would endure for the memory of that beautiful baby girl. He looked at Hoshi and saw the same shock and awe mirrored in her luminous dark eyes.

"You two look so shocked. I don't know why, it made perfect sense to us. First, my family knows so little about Vulcan culture. I didn't think it would be fair to Elizabeth, or them, to make them entirely responsible for raising her if something happened to T'Pol and I. The same goes for T'Pol's family, because she is... Was half human. Not that there are many left. We both thought you two would be perfect to help. You both understand T'Pol and I. Hoshi knows Vulcan culture and traditions. Malcolm you'd be the only one I'd trust to keep her safe, and besides you've got a lot of empathy for Vulcan behavior. I probably should have let T'Pol tell you, her explanation is much more eloquent and logical," Trip almost smiled at the blank stares on his friend's faces.

Hoshi could help herself, she lunged at Trip enfolding him in a fierce hug, devastated not only for his and T'Pol's pain, and an innocent sweet baby girl. Finding out that she would have had such an important role in her life, made the pain twice as sharp. Yet she knew that she would gladly endure it. The memory of little Elizabeth Tucker would always have a place in her heart. As he held her Trip knew he'd dropped an emotional bombshell. He could see the shock on Malcom's face from the news. He cursed himself for not telling them sooner. All his attention kept focused on keeping T'Pol and himself sane. T'Pol and Elizabeth's telepathic bond began and ended so abruptly that the broken bond wreaked havoc on them both. With their mating bond incomplete, the stress of losing Elizabeth, and two very different sets of emotional responses, the past two weeks took a toll on both. Still, Trip felt he'd hurt his friends and made things worse.

"I'm sorry. I should've told you both long before this. But things have been so crazy, I guess I got overwhelmed. The last thing I wanted to do is make things worse, I know this has been hard on everyone," Trip whispered.

Malcolm rested his hand on Trip's good shoulder, "Listen to me you didn't make anything worse. You and T'Pol are taking care of each other, you're doing your duty. As for your news, I'm honored by your trust and friendship. I'm here for whatever you need. Now quit worrying about it and take care of yourself and T'Pol," he ordered.

"Malcolm's right, Trip. In fact, I can't tell you how happy you've made me. Not even my own siblings wanted me to be a godmother for their kids. Listen anything you and T'Pol need just ask. Anytime day or night I'm here for you both," Hoshi said, even allowing a small smile to grace her lips.

Trip sighed, he needed to get back to T'Pol. The ceremony wouldn't be for another forty-eight standard hours, Jon had a diplomatic meeting with T'Pau, and since T'Pau would oversee the ceremony the delay had been unavoidable. Trip decided they needed time to be truly alone, knowing that T'Pol couldn't find complete peace on a ship full of humans and one Denobulan. They agreed to depart the ship early and spend time at T'Pol's home.

"Listen you two, you're more than friends to us. You're a part of our family. We'll see you in two days, but I really have to get back to T'Pol now," Trip said giving a one-armed hug to both Hoshi and Malcolm.

"Get on then with you, Trip. We'll be there when you need us," Malcolm answered.

Trip walked out of the mess hall, and Hoshi turned to Malcolm, "You know something Malcolm, they're reaching out to us. They'll need us for more than just mourning Elizabeth. I don't think the Captain is going to understand about them. I think they know it too. Terra Prime is just the beginning," her voice was soft and full of foreboding.

In spite of himself, Malcolm found himself wrapping his arm around Hoshi's shoulders, "I know, Hoshi. But we'll be there for them, us and their rather large, and complex family."

"Have you met the Tuckers? I did once when I first met Trip and Jon," Hoshi asked brimming with curiosity.

"I have met them. When I went to Florida with Trip, he introduced me, I felt like I was being adopted." he admitted blushing.

"Yes, that's how they are. Do you think Starfleet will ever let them know about Elizabeth?" Hoshi asked, unable to keep a tear from escaping down her cheek.

Tenderly Malcolm wiped the tear from her face with the calloused pad of his thumb. "I don't know Hoshi, but I hope so. I truly do," he whispered.

Hoshi let out a long sigh and turned again to stare out the window. Both absolutely convinced that little Elizabeth had changed everything in her short life. Each questioned where those changes would take them and allowed themselves to be comforted by the fact that throughout every challenge they faced since boarding Enterprise, they faced them together. They each knew they would face these new ones as they always had, together.


	2. The Storm of Regret

**AN: Vulcan word translations:**

**ashalik- beloved (roughly)**

**da ek'zuru- IDIC pendent**

**katra- soul**

**Spunau bolayalar t'Wehku bolayalar t'Zamu il t'Veh- Cast out fear, there is no room for anything else until you cast out fear**

* * *

Trip hurried from the mess to T'Pol's quarters. They shared a constant state of emotional awareness. Her rage threatened to consume her mind and soul. She needed him to help her maintain a measure of control. Meditation once a pleasure for him during the past six months, now served as an anchor to sanity. His experience grieving for Charles the Cogenitor, Lizzie, Lorian, and Sim, couldn't prepare him for this. He held on to the comfort of loving T'Pol and their determination to remain united.

T'Pol looked up as Charles entered and relief flooded her. He would care for her and allow her to care for him. Their balance would be restored, and they would prevail. In what seemed like a flash, she hurled herself into his arms and melted into his touch. "Are you well, **ashalik**?" she murmured into his ear.

"I'm fine, darling," Trip replied, stroking her face gently, "but we really need to meditate. You're not doing so well. I could feel your anger all the way here. Come on, I'll light the candles."

T'Pol set up the cushions while Trip prepared the candles. He wrapped his arms around her waist, gently settling her is his lap. Trip smiled softly when he felt her breathing even out and her mind slip into meditation. Comforting her helped ease his own grief profoundly. Placing a small kiss on her temple, he started to control his breathing and allowed himself to fall into his own meditation. Their shared mental space quivered with the force of their pain, through the link, he would use his human control to make the grief easier for her to process. An hour later, T'Pol came out of her meditation feeling considerably more in control of her emotions. Where an ordinary human would be crushed by the power of a Vulcan's heart and soul, he immersed himself in hers. He demanded the right to fight her demons and always came out victorious. He held a claim to goodness and devotion far superior to her own, and she cherished it beyond anything she knew.

The shuttle taking them to Vulcan's surface docked in one hour. T'Pol specifically requested that a Vulcan shuttle escort her and Charles. She admitted to herself that while her loyalty remained to her Captain and this crew, her trust in humanity had weathered a near fatal blow. She would not allow harm to come to herself or her Charles. With her body full of tension and no time for neuro-pressure; a hot shower would take care of her needs effectively until they reached Vulcan. Very carefully, she slipped out of his arms, and allowed herself a moment of satisfaction when Charles did not become distracted from his mediation. Gathering the robes, she would wear to Vulcan and her mother's da ek'zuru, T'Pol entered her bathroom and began her shower. She wondered why he chose to accept her, when most other men would abandon anyone after a rejection. Of course, her folly with Trellium D and the havoc it unleashed within her made any positive outcome unlikely. She closed her eyes as she stood completely under the streaming water and let the memories come. Fighting them served no logical purpose...

* * *

After _Enterprise_ discovered the _Seleya_, and seeing the crew, she had lived and worked with reduced to the paranoid savageness of millenniums ago tore at her **katra**. When she herself began to lose control, she knew fear and rage, and she finally understood the danger present in her and her people. Terrible images featuring her and her human crewmates, culminating in the deaths of one hundred forty-seven of her people. Phlox stayed with her during the long process of recovery, soothing her as the terrors of her experience ravaged her mind. During the days that followed the haunting continued. T'Pol faced a true crisis of faith both in herself and in her Captain. Doubts plagued her about her loyalty to her people and her way of life. Intellectually, she knew beyond doubt that Captain Archer could not save the Seleya or its crew, but she struggled with his order to destroy it. Aside from herself, Jonathan Archer had little respect and no regard for Vulcans. He didn't treat the deaths of her Vulcan crewmates with the same empathy he had the Axanar, and T'Pol stayed isolated in her grief, determined to put their deaths behind her, to honor them in the Vulcan way, repressing all emotion. She couldn't know that the Trellium D had already left its indelible mark, and her logic failed.

She felt unfocused, like a sound beyond the edge of hearing, resounding in her brain, making it impossible to meditate, and neuro-pressure offered no relief. She went for days without sleep and found her appetite non-existent. Her sensitivity to the emotions that surrounded her increased to a fever pitch, relentlessly hammering at her mental controls' night and day. Phlox had assured her that the neurotoxin from the Trellium D was out of her system, so she attributed her symptoms to her pa'nar syndrome, as well as the aftereffects of Rajin's assault. Now, because of her Vulcan physiology, she became a liability to them. She had tried to persuade the Captain to leave her behind on a planet, but in his typical brash manner, he steadfastly refused to heed her logic. Knowing that _Enterprise_ required Trellium D to complete and succeed in its mission required a bold and rapidly implemented solution.

**Spunau bolayalar t'Wehku bolayalar t'Zamu il t'Veh**. She reminded herself, deciding that to build up immunity required her to inject small amounts into her bloodstream. Eventually her immune system would accept the neurotoxin. At first, her plan appeared to be a success. Her ability to meditate slowly returned, she began getting regular rest, and while she was still sensitive to the emotions around her, they became manageable. She began to interact more easily with the people around her, and she found that lingering resentment of her was beginning to dissipate. For the first time since boarding Enterprise, she believed that the crew now accepted her.

Things went horribly wrong when she discovered that Commander Tucker performed neuro-pressure on Corporal Amanda Cole. She thought she knew betrayal with the discovery of her people's treachery at P'Jem. She visited Corporal Cole to correct the damage. The sense of betrayal she experienced as Amanda informed her of the intimacy shared between them stung. She should have explained more clearly to Commander Tucker about how deep the intimacy of neuro-pressure truly went. 'But would he care?' her mind questioned. Humans don't believe touch to be intimate, and based on the topics they discussed, it became obvious Commander Tucker felt comfortable entrusting the MACO woman with his feelings.

Why did he reject her? Hadn't she shown him that she cared about both his physical and mental state? Didn't he realize that she wouldn't have taken such actions if he were nothing more than a subordinate? She had confided the most private details of the mental assaults she endured by both Tolaris and Rajin to him. Did her trust and regard mean so little? Immediately she put the last question aside. He had told her that he respected her and valued her as a friend. Commander Charles Tucker the III was many things, but he had always been truthful. He never lied by word or omission, and he rarely exaggerated unless engaging in hyperbole. No— she mattered to him and she knew it. The question was, did Amanda Cole matter more to him? He must prefer Amanda Cole because she was human. He must think that as a Vulcan she would not want to hear his memories of his sister. Or perhaps he thought she would be offended by his emotions. She had offered many times to share his confidences, but perhaps he simply did not wish to share himself with a Vulcan. However, he had other human friends on board whom he refused to confide in. In a Vulcan relationship two people properly bonded and associated with each other for a much longer period before beginning neuro-pressure. She willingly defied this custom in order to help him, and he failed to see the significance. How could he so casually use her gift to him on another woman that he had just met? Now she must fix the damage he caused.

* * *

Pausing her memories, T'Pol checked on Charles through their bond sensing him still in meditation, but he seemed to be at peace now. Charles once taught her a human saying, _"Hindsight is 20-20.'_ He told her that looking back at a past situation is always clearer because you now have information that you didn't have in the past. How true her ashal-veh's words were, for back then she'd believed in her control. She had believed so intensely that she acted in a logical, reasonable manner. Her actions that night had no logic. She wondered if she would ever be able to put these regrets in the past completely where it belonged.

* * *

"Commander, would you please desist in shouting? These quarters are a mere one hundred square feet, and as you know, Vulcan hearing is far superior to your own. I assure you that your tone is completely unnecessary," T'Pol said in her 'command voice.'

"Do me a favor and spare me the physiology lesson, T'Pol. I really am in no mood for a lecture on 'Why Vulcans are the superior beings.' Don't you dare try to turn this into a philosophy debate either! I want to know one thing and one thing only... Why was my double in this room?" Trip stopped yelling, his words came out hard, clipped and filled with his anger.

"He stated that he had feelings for me. However, he felt confused because he could not be sure they originated with him or yourself. He was quite concerned about this and the fact that he was to die in order to save you. I endeavored to ease his burdens," T'Pol stated as dispassionately as possible.

"How did you decide to 'ease his burdens' as you say? Did you perform neuro-pressure on him too?" Trip demanded.

"What does it matter if I had done so? I had more of a right to help him than you did with Amanda Cole! At least he thought me worthy of his confidence, something which you obviously do not intend to act on," T'Pol retaliated. T'Pol watched closely as his eyes darkened. She had only seen him enraged when encountering Xindi. Now that rage was directed at her, and she would not allow him to make her out to be the person in the wrong. He was human and he could not possibly understand her conflict about Sim.

"Let's get one thing straight, T'Pol, Sim was not me. He might have been a copy of me, but he was not me! I wish Jon had let me die. If I had known that such a procedure even existed, I would have put it in my record that I wanted a 'do not resuscitate' order. What he and Phlox did was murder, and I live with it." Trip's voice had gotten extremely quiet, with a death-like chill.

"I would never treat his existence as unimportant any more than I would yours, Commander. However, I believe Sim thought of himself as you, like a reflection in a mirror. I also disagreed with Captain Archer's decision however logical it was. Vulcans view all life as sacred!? I am only sorry that I was in no position to stop the Captain. I would have done so if I could have. I intend to file a formal protest with Starfleet when we return. I doubt actions would be taken against Captain Archer; any actions would be useless anyway. I must object to his order. It would be unthinkable for me to be silent," T'Pol answered finally revealing how she viewed the whole matter.

"When I was a kid, Mr. Velik was emphatic about respecting life in tenth grade. He explained it using Surak and made it a part of his lessons. He'd say, 'even the smallest cell deserves respect.' To tell you the truth, I thought it was the only thing I'd ever have in common with Vulcans. Jon knew I would have never agreed to it. I know that in that while it might be harder, this mission could have succeeded without me. I was very careful when I chose my crew when we started. I made sure that if something happened to me, Enterprise would have people that could handle it. But you never answered my original question." Trip demanded.

"No, Commander, I did not. He never had a need for it, or at least he never told me he did. The night he came to me in distress, I kissed him," T'Pol stated as if she was giving sensor readings on a new Minshara-Class planet.

"YOU DID WHAT!" Trip shouted in shock.

"I believe you heard me, Commander. I repeat there is no reason for you to raise your voice," T'Pol retorted, weary of his shouting. First, he'd changed the purpose of this discussion; now he'd made it more difficult.

"Where did you kiss him, T'Pol?" Trip growled.

"He was in approximately the same position you are now, Commander," T'Pol replied.

"You know that isn't what I meant, T'Pol." Trip bit out in frustration.

"Why do you care? You said that you believed that he was not you, therefore whatever my dealings with him are none of your concern," T'Pol asserted.

"Oh yes, they are, T'Pol. Precisely because he was my copy and not me. Vulcans don't even kiss the way humans do!" Trip countered.

"What would you know about that, Commander? I certainly have never spoken to you about Vulcan mating practices. You are so engrossed in pursuing Corporal Cole that I doubt you would find them interesting in any case." T'Pol hoped he would change the subject at last.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Trip snapped, and rubbed his temples in frustration, "I am NOT pursuing Amanda, all right? There was exactly ONE neuro-pressure date— which I obviously screwed up, and one kiss that was nice, but not life changing. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're acting like a jealous wife. Why is it so important to you that I spend time with Amanda?"

"Why do you care that I kissed Sim? Or whether I preformed neuro-pressure on him or not? If I did not know better, I would say you are acting like a jealous husband," T'Pol said, satisfied using his own words against him.

"You want to know why? Here's why, T'Pol. I am jealous. I'm furious! I come to you week after week for neuro-pressure. I know that touching people is a taboo for you, especially a human. I try to do everything I can to make it as easy as possible for you. I control my physical reactions as best I can. I try not to bother you with my pesky emotions and memories. I give you the respect you deserve, and sometimes it isn't easy. I'm a Human man, T'Pol; I don't lock things away like you can. But I know my feelings can affect you, so I do the best I can for you. Yes, I went to Amanda. She's a lovely girl; we have so much in common. But I went to her because I can't always control myself around you. Believe it or not, you've become closer to me than anyone else, even Jon and Malcolm. It isn't right for me to ask any more of you than I have. Now you tell me that Sim- my 'copy', my 'reflection', comes to you with feelings he isn't sure are his... and you kiss him. Why couldn't you kiss me?" Trip raged, nearly howling in despair.

T'Pol hung on to every word, his tone demanding her complete attention— and an answer. She tried to formulate a proper answer, but the only thought her mind could form was, 'Amanda Cole cannot have him!' Instinctively she threw herself into his arms with her mouth sealed over his. Fortunately, her companion made things easier by responding after his initial moment of shock. As his arms wrapped around her, she took his face in her hands. Gently his lips began to move over hers slowly, taking his time to feel every touch. T'Pol let him lead, because after all, he was correct: Vulcans did not typically kiss in this fashion. Despite a myriad of sensations coursing through her mind and body, she almost felt in a meditative trance, until she felt his breath hitch, and he gently pulled away.

"If that was how you kissed Sim, he died happy. Thank you for that. It was wrong of me to feel jealous," Trip whispered a tiny smirk played on his lips.

"I assure you, the kiss I gave Sim bears no resemblance to the one we just shared," T'Pol replied. "However, if you believe I may have brought him a measure of contentment, I am gratified that I was able to be of some benefit to him, especially since I have no experience with this form of affection."

"T'Pol, why did you kiss me right now? I have no claim to you and no right to question your relationships with anyone, not even a copy of myself. If you kissed me because I was speaking out of foolish jealousy, I apologize," Trip said.

T'Pol thought about his question disturbed to discover that she had no clear reason for her actions. At first, she intended to show him that his relationship with Amanda Cole was inappropriate and ill-advised. When the subject turned to Sim things had changed. His jealousy had struck something within her, something she couldn't define or explain in words. The knowledge that he did not want her sharing intimacies a copy of himself echoed her own displeasure of Amanda Cole. "You do not like the idea of me sharing intimacies with another, not even your 'double.' And yet, you have confided in a woman you have known less than one Terran year. For months I have done all I can to assist you with your pain. I have told you things about me that no Vulcan would ever confide to anyone who was not a member of their immediate family, all in the hope that you would eventually be able to confide in me. I do not understand why you are unable to do so, but it is obvious that I am not enough. However, your choice of her is illogical. Lieutenant Reed is closer to you, so is Hoshi. While I am uncertain of the reasons for my actions, I need you to know that it was always my intention to be someone you could entrust your thoughts and feelings with. Perhaps that is why I kissed you. Perhaps I wanted to prove to you that I am enough, but I am uncertain," T'Pol spoke softly, trying to end her confusion.

Trip put his hand on her face, tilting it up so he could look into her beautiful smoky eyes. "I didn't realize what I was doing would affect you so much. Try to understand that I didn't do any of this because I am rejecting you. The truth is I feel far too much for you to be considered just friends, but I don't know what to do about it," Trip kept his voice calm, but the strain peeked through.

"Are you saying that you wish to form a romantic relationship with me?" T'Pol asked, her eyes visibly widening at the thought.

"I don't know T'Pol, I know that a part of me wants to be closer to you, but Vulcans don't have romantic relationships. Especially not with human men who are at best emotionally unstable. Hypothetically, if I did want a romantic relationship, would you be willing?" Trip asked, keeping his eyes locked with hers so she knew he was serious.

"I do not know if I am even capable of having such a relationship. Logically, I would be a most unsatisfactory partner for any human. Our cultures differ drastically when it comes to these things. I would not even know how to begin." her voice was filled with doubt.

"That's fair enough. If I asked you to give it some thought, would you?" Trip's hand began to tremble slightly as he realized what he was asking.

"I would consider it, if that is what you wish," she answered truthfully.

Trip held her close to him and he whispered, his thumb gently stroking her cheek, "I think I would like you to consider it. But whatever you decide, you can't ever be replaced T'Pol. Not ever. Not by anyone."

She had to acknowledge his words. Gently she reached for his face, her hands caressing his cheeks, fingers splayed on his temples. She drew him into a soft, chaste kiss much like she had given Sim. Warmth enveloped her with the intensity and brightness of the Vulcan sun. She felt him sigh as he pulled away, and just as she was about to speak the tactical alert sounded. With no time to waste, they each began rushing to their stations, unable to process the event that had taken place.

Later, during her meditation, she discovered something that chilled her to the bone: during both kisses with Commander Tucker, she had brushed her mind against his and sensed his thoughts. During the first kiss he had thought, 'this is when I wake up' when they broke apart. During the second he had thought, 'I can't wake up now!'

She would die herself before bringing harm to him; she had to stop the path they were on. His safety - his sanity - maybe his very life - depended on it. Shame filled her so acutely she thought she might be crushed under its unseen weight. Tomorrow she would stop this madness and hope that the damage would not be irreversible.

As T'Pol sat across from Commander Tucker the next morning, she gathered every scrap of Vulcan mental discipline at her disposal to keep her control. "I have given the matter of a romantic relationship between us a great deal of thought Commander. I have discovered that it would be an unacceptable risk for both of us," she stated with cool efficiency.

She watched in agony Trip went completely still his eyes wide. "T'Pol I know I said that it would be all right if you didn't want to be with me, and it is. What happened between last night and now to make it a risk?" he asked.

"I have done something that could cause you harm. It would be dangerous for you to become more intimate with me." Her voice was strong and sure, but her eyes lowered to her hands.

"Hold on and start at the beginning. How did you harm me? T'Pol, I'm fine. I'm tired because I didn't have a chance to sleep much because we were attacked, but you didn't do anything that could remotely harm me," Trip stated, as he tried to tilt her face up to his. T'Pol sharply jerked away from his touch.

"You do not understand, Commander. Last night my mind touched yours. I do not know how it happened, but I do know it is dangerous. We cannot put ourselves in the position where it could happen again. The danger is too great. I will not allow it," she snapped, feeling her control slipping.

"How do you know your mind touched mine? I certainly didn't feel anything, and I don't see why it would be dangerous either. I'm not a telepath, T'Pol. I can't hurt you and I certainly would never try. I'm not Tolaris, or Rajin," he kept his voice as soothing as possible.

"Commander, I am not concerned that you would harm me. The danger I speak of is to you, not me. Indeed, I am more dangerous to you than both Tolaris and Rajin. You have no mental defenses against me, and it is entirely possible that I could transmit the **pa'nar** syndrome to you. I have already violated you twice! What is worse is that I am unable to prevent such contact between us. I cannot allow that to happen, your very life may depend on it!" She could look at him now her face and voice revealing nothing but determination.

"All right. First, you didn't violate me. Whatever happened was an accident. Second, how do you know I could contract **pa'nar**? I'm human. I could be immune. Finally, how do you know you can't control it?" Trip countered.

"Whether or not the mental contact between us was an accident is irrelevant. It happened, and without your consent. That is a violation. Also, the only way to find out if you could indeed contract **pa'nar** is through a mind-meld, which is something I refuse to attempt. If you are not immune, it could destroy your brain far more quickly than mine. Finally, I know I cannot control it because I did not know I had done it until hours later, when I heard your thoughts in my mind," T'Pol stated, refusing to even consider alternatives.

"OK. What thoughts of mine did you hear? I want to have all of the information, so I understand this," Trip replied.

"After our first kiss ended you thought, 'this is when I wake up.' At the end of the second kiss, you thought, 'I can't wake up now!' I assure you they were yours," she said.

"It's OK, T'Pol. We'll forget it happened. You didn't violate me, and everything is going to be all right. We're probably not in any shape for a real relationship anyway. The mission needs all our focus, no distractions. I'm not emotionally stable as it is, and the last thing you need is all of that pressure on you," Trip replied in a calm, neutral voice.

"Commander, are we still friends? Will we continue our neuro-pressure sessions?" T'Pol asked, her uncertainty ringing clearly through her voice.

"Of course, we're friends, and yes, I'll see you tomorrow as usual. I need sleep, and you need to keep up so the pa'nar stays in check. This isn't a terrible thing, T'Pol. It was two wonderful kisses and I don't regret anything." Trip assured her.

"If it means anything, I wish for you to know that you are irreplaceable to me as well, Commander," T'Pol whispered.

"It means everything, T'Pol. I'm about to go on duty. I'll see you later." Trip gave her a soft smile and left.

* * *

T'Pol turned off the shower and dried off. His smile was still burned in her memory, but it was the sadness she had seen in his eyes that had stayed in her heart. If that had been the only time, she'd caused her ashalik pain, the memory would be easily suppressed. Today every one of those memories were demanding contemplation. If she could deal with them now, she might be able to move past them and put them away while grieving for Elizabeth. All the pain inflicted on them either through their own actions, or events beyond their control, would be put away forever. They would be left with only the good things throughout their relationship. She was determined that before they left Vulcan their bond would be complete. This was the time she would finally cast off the remnants of the things that had kept her from fully giving herself to Charles.


	3. We Must Go Home Again

**AN: Sorry for the wait Ladies and Gents, I was hacked! Mean people who don't want to use their skills for good, made getting my computer fixed take a while. If previous readers notice this chapter has been bisected don't panic the rest is being re-worked for later in the tale for better flow.**

* * *

**Vulcan wrods:**

**ashalik- beloved**

**sa-kugalsu- a man to whom a woman is engaged**

**t' denotes possesion**

**Taluhk nash-veh k'dular t'ashalik- I cherish thee, my beloved**

**Kal'i'farr- Vulcan wedding ceremony**

**ozh'esta- finger kiss**

**ta'al-** traditional hand gesture of courtesy

**dif-tor heh sumusa- Live Long and Prosper**

**Ang'jmizn- Captain**

**amsetri tre- Your presence honors us**

**sochya ehdif- Peace and Long Life**

**Zelh-lan- Commander**

**tushah nash-veh k'dular- I grieve with thee **adressing more than one person of honored status

**t'sai- my Lady**

**tushah nash-veh k'odu- I grieve with thee **adressing one person of honored status

**ko'fu- daughter**

**katra- soul**

**talukh nash-veh k'dular t'ashal- I cherish thee, my darling**

* * *

Trip came out of his meditation slowly stretching out his stiff muscles and focused his mind on T'Pol. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he sensed she had much better control over her emotions. He felt a profound and immeasurable guilt emanating from her. She often thought about every mistake she had made in their relationship since the day they'd met. He had made just as many mistakes, possibly more. She never let him reproach himself for them. They would remain together for the rest of their lives. Not very long ago that he would've never believed a Vulcan was capable of such crushing guilt. The man he was now felt contempt for that naïve boy. He might not have hated Vulcans the way Jon did back then, but he had been a bigoted fool, a fool who hadn't even tried to give them respect or even common decency. Sometimes when sleep eluded him, he thought about what he might have become without T'Pol. He was no stranger to hate and rage. If she had not defied the Vulcan High Command when they refused to help Earth, he might have turned his hatred onto them. He had been dangerously close to becoming like Paxton, and the knowledge horrified him.

Suddenly T'Pol rushed into the room. Clad in her robe with her hair bound up in a towel, poised to take on any threat. Seeing no physical disturbance, she started to soothe him, taking his face in her hands, "Why are you fearful, _**ashalik**_? What has happened" she asked.

Trip kissed both her palms and her forehead and gave her a small smile. "Aw, darling, I'm sorry you felt that. I was just thinking about some things and my thoughts took a bad turn. There's nothing to worry over, I promise. I'm just fine. Finish getting dressed. We only have twenty minutes until the shuttle comes."

T'Pol raised her eyebrow, refusing to be placated. "When we decided to keep this bond, we agreed that there would be no more secrets between us. Are you going back on your word, _**t'sa-kugalsu**_?"

He smiled, as she reproached him. "No, darling. I was just thinking about the man I'd be without you in my life. I don't like the answer much. I promise that's all it was," he answered.

T'Pol stroked Charles' face with her index and middle fingers and spoke softly: "To dwell on such thoughts is highly illogical, _**ashalik**_, especially when such thoughts are accompanied by such destructive emotions. I am in your life. Your disquieting thoughts serve no purpose."

He caught her delicate hand in his and placed a tender kiss on her palm, "I know, T'Pol. I'm just stressed." He gave her a smirk and a wink. "You're not just in my life, darling. You _are _my life."

T'Pol never took Charles' statements of commitment for granted and immediately reciprocated: "You _are_ my life as well, Charles. Perhaps when we arrive on Vulcan, we will be better able to relax."

"We will, darling," he replied. "Right now, it's just hard because we have eighty-eight people crowding us, showing they care. Once we get some time alone, we'll meditate more. I promise."

"You have not neglected me in any way, _**ashalik**_. In fact, I am more concerned about your own needs. Are you certain that I have done everything possible to support you? I do not wish for you to focus on my needs at the expense of your own. If you need to talk, we will do so. If you need to cry, then I will support you. Please do not close yourself off from me. I know my past mistakes have hurt you, but I will not be so foolish again. _**Taluhk nash-veh k'dular t'ashalik**_," she whispered.

He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to him. He gently tilted her face up and pressed his lips to hers in a feverish kiss. T'Pol melted instantly, molding herself to him and immediately parting her mouth for him. Trip took his time, slowly worshiping her. Kissing T'Pol was a lesson in complexity, one involving all his senses. Tasting her required working through many intricate layers, all homogenized into something beyond description. The first layer he tasted was clean from the tea she drank. At times, it was enhanced by mint or chamomile. But most often, it was fresh and grassy from her Vulcan green tea. The second layer was full of spice, resembling nutmeg and allspice with just a hint of black pepper, which heated his tongue. Going deeper, he came to the sweet molasses and caramel flavor that reminded him of pecan pie. It both ignited and soothed his soul. Underlying every layer was a hint of copper and salt. All T'Pol - and he would never get enough of it.

They agreed that they were engaged but hadn't made any date for a formal ceremony. His desire for a Vulcan wedding had nothing to do with accommodating T'Pol's heritage. He had looked up the ceremony long ago, before they had even encountered Lorien and the 'other _Enterprise_.' The _**Kai'i'farr**_ took the ideals of ancient human marriage and made them a physical reality. He couldn't help grinning like a Cheshire cat. She met even his most inane desires even growing her hair out just for him. On the outside, the only difference between Vulcans and Humans appeared to be their ears and brows. But now and then, something would remind humans of their differences. T'Pol's hair grew out so fast that in just six months it flowed down her back. T'Pol explained that Vulcans must cut their hair every two weeks if they are in the military because it grows so quickly. Vulcan men sometimes had to shave twice a day and could have more body hair than humans. But to add another interesting quirk, Vulcan woman rarely have hair on any other part of their bodies but their heads, eyebrows, and eyelashes.

T'Pol raised her eyebrow in amusement and retreated once again to the bathroom. She carefully unfolded her robes made of a deep blue-green silk. Unlike her rust-colored robes, these were not for ceremonial or diplomatic duties. A square neckline cut four centimeters below her collarbone with a form-fitting bodice accentuating her small waist and the sweeping curve of her hips in a pleasing fashion. The shimmering fabric of the narrow, but flowing skirt fell like a waterfall to the floor. T'Pol scrutinized herself in the mirror with a critical eye, deeming her acceptable.

When T'Pol came out dressed in her robes, Trip felt as though his breath had been knocked out of him. Her officer persona shed completely, leaving only the sensitive woman that so few ever saw. She resembled an ancient goddess or queen in those robes – someone not meant to be approached or touched by a mere man, and she had chosen him despite being impulsive and intensely emotional, by human standards. Even now, after the discovery of the _**Kir'Shara**_, very few Vulcans would go out of their way to become acquainted with him. "All set, darling. We'd better get to the shuttle bay now. Hoshi's going to call any second."

"Agreed," T'Pol said as she put the IDIC around her neck.

Trip grabbed their luggage with his good arm and stared at the medallion for a moment. Memories of their beautiful baby girl trying to reach for it in her incubator overwhelmed him. There was so much joy and pain swirling in his soul that it nearly overwhelmed him. T'Pol began running her fingertips from his temple to the base of his neck. The _**ozh'esta**_ immediately began to calm him; he was not alone. He and T'Pol would get through this together. "You look beautiful darling. I don't say that enough," he whispered.

Her eyes glittered with love and pain. Continuing with her caresses, she answered, "I have no need of words, _**t'ashalik**_. You tell me such things in many superior ways."

The chime of the communication system interrupted their moment. "Hoshi to Commanders T'Pol and Tucker."

"Tucker here."

"Sir, the Vulcan shuttle _V'kai _has just docked with us."

"Very good, Ensign. Please inform them that we are on our way," T'Pol replied.

"Aye, Commander. Safe journey to you both."

"Thanks, Hoshi. Tucker out."

"Have you packed everything you require, Charles?"

"Yeah, everything on the list and some extra stuff, just in case I need to work on something."

T'Pol raised her eyebrow at her bondmate's tendency to overwork but said nothing. "Then let us depart. No doubt Soval will be awaiting us, along with T'Pau and several others."

As they made their way to the docking bay, Trip tried to contain his nervous energy. Soval had offered nothing but support for him and T'Pol from the moment he had learned of their bond. It still threw him for a loop when he remembered that the Ambassador was T'Pol's grandfather. He had known almost from the beginning that their relationship must be more than mentor and protégé, but he hadn't counted on it being a blood relationship. When they had finally decided on the future of their relationship, Trip contacted Soval to request T'Pol's hand, and to assure him that he would do everything in his power to be a good husband to her. T'Pol had been amused, telling him that her _**sa-mehk'al**_ would not have refused him. "To do so would be highly illogical, as we are already bonded," she had said not bothering to hide her laughing eyes. He laughed for her and simply replied, "It was the right thing to do." No, he looked forward to seeing Soval again. However, he felt like a superconductor of barely controlled passions. He only hoped he didn't cause any embarrassing scenes on the way to the surface. He jumped slightly when he felt T'Pol squeeze his hand.

T'Pol decided to speak Vulcan for privacy. _**"Charles, there is no greater grief for Vulcans than the loss of a child. We are no different than humans in this. Any lapses of my control will be understood and ignored. No one will expect you to repress your grief. We have nothing to reproach ourselves for."**_

Seeing Captain Vanik of the _Ti'Mur_ in _Enterprise's_ shuttle bay, T'Pol's eyebrows rose to the edge of her hairline. Trip came forward to greet the surly Captain raising his right hand in the _**ta'al**_,_**"Dif-tor heh sumusa, Agn'jmizn Vanik. Amsetri tre."**_

Vanik keenly sensed the agony of Tucker's grief, clearly manifesting itself in his eyes. Eyes made bright with unshed tears and narrowed in distrust. However, his body language demonstrated a desire to put those around him at ease, especially T'Pol. Thus far, the Commander had demonstrated a level of control that the older man had once believed was impossible for humans. His stance announced that he would tolerate no disrespect to T'Pol, and he had made it a point to make sure that everyone knew he could understand any Vulcan that was spoken. This was a man to be reckoned with. Returning the _**ta'al**__,_ he replied, _**"Sochya ehdif, Zelh-lan Tucker."**_ Then bowing to them both he continued, _**"Tushah nash-veh k'dular."**_

Trip heard the sincerity in the Captain's voice he felt the tension in his gut release. He and T'Pol returned the gesture and prepared to board. Vanik led them onto the _V'kai_, and Trip's keen eye appreciated the practical yet elegant design, and he looked forward to getting a feel for her. Maybe he'd be able to get some "classified" information out of this little lady. Hearing T'Pol speak he returned his attention to the Captain. _"How long have you been stationed on Vulcan, Captain Vanik?" she asked._

_"The _**_Ti'Mur_** _required a complete refit after being caught in a dangerous type four plasma storm while charting a nebula outside of Tellarite space. We were able to return home without casualties. The repairs are expected to take another three weeks."_

This information got the wheels in Trip's mind working quickly. He knew that the _Ti'Mur _had more advanced engines and shielding than _Enterprise_ and _Columbia _combined, and she was just a science vessel. Any storm that could do that kind of damage to her might destroy the NX-01. _"Have you ever encountered a plasma storm of that strength before, Captain?"_

Vanik raised an eyebrow at the young man's question. It seemed the young Commander had not lost his curiosity about Vulcan technology. _"__This is the first time I have experienced a storm of this intensity. However, I have had several colleagues who have been through them several times. We have since developed several ways to keep our ships safe from such phenomena."_

_"I would like to meet those colleagues of yours and the engineers sometime,"_ Trip replied with a small smirk.

_"Indeed,"_ Vanik said.

A lean well-muscled younger man stepped into the passenger section and bowed deeply before T'Pol. He had black hair very short in the back, but very long on top pulled back out of his face let loose it would fall below his chin. Large, dark, piercing eyes took in every detail of his surroundings with searing intensity. He didn't wear robes, or any uniform Trip had ever seen. He wore a black sleeveless vest, embroidered with gold Vulcan script. He recognized T'Pol's clan name, and assumed the other name was the man's own clan name. Simple black leather pants and knee-high black lace-up boots made him look like an action hero in one of his old movies, along with a wicked-looking, curved knife hanging from his belt._**"Dif-tor heh sumusa, t'sai T'Pol. Tushah nash-veh k'odu," **__he greeted in high formal Vulcan. _

T'Pol raised her hand in the _**ta'al**__,_ returning greeting in high formal Vulcan. _**"Sochya ehdif, S'Tal.**_ _**It is agreeable to see you again. May I present Commander Charles Tucker, Elizabeth's father. Charles, this is S'Tal, He and his family have provided security for my family for generations."**_

S'Tan turned to Trip and bowed again. _**"I am honored, Sir. I will be attending you and Lady T'Pol for the duration of your stay on Vulcan. If there is anything you require, you need only make it known**__**."**_ Addressing Vanik he said, _**"Your presence is required at the helm, Captain."**_

Vanik nodded his head and left the three alone. Trip noticed the way he addressed T'Pol as familiar: more so than a colleague, but with an obvious deference. Of course, because of her status in Vulcan society, most people would show her extra respect, but this seemed different. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why S'Tal had called him 'Sir.' Every Vulcan he had ever met either addressed him as Mr. Tucker or by his rank. He looked to T'Pol for some clarification. They hadn't really addressed her rank in society or what it meant for him.

T'Pol held in a sigh. They did not need cultural entanglements to add to their distress. _**"My Grandfather sent you to guard us?"**_

S'Tal's calm voice reflected his dedication to his duty. _**"Yes, my Lady. While most of the corrupt officials of the former High Command have been detained by the High Council, the few that have not been apprehended have made you a target. Lord Soval has made it clear that both you and Sir Tucker are to be protected at all costs."**_

Trip stepped in, testing his newly acquired linguistic skills honed over the past six months for the first time. _**"How great a threat are we talking about? I can get security personnel if I must. I will not allow T'Pol to be at risk!"**_

If S'Tal thought Trip's tone overly emotional, he didn't show it. _**"Minister T'Pau has decreed that outsiders cannot be made aware of Lady T'Pol's identity as the daughter of Surak, and matriarch of her clan. Lord Soval has entrusted me to protect both of you. I assure you, Sir Tucker, I have protected Lady T'Pol for many years. Her safety, and yours, is my highest priority."**_

Trip thought quietly for a moment. He sensed T'Pol's trust in the man. She would never risk his safety with someone she didn't trust implicitly. If this guy had been protecting T'Pol for years, where was he when she married Koss? _**"It is not the faith of Soval, I question. T'Pol and I are Starfleet officers. If we are at risk, I have a responsibility to inform our Captain. It is my duty. Surely you understand that."**_ Having the help of Malcolm and the MACO's would be a bonus.

T'Pol stepped in. _**"T'Pau has authorized Captain Archer and several members of the senior staff to be made aware of my heritage. They will be attending Elizabeth's memorial service. One of them is **_**_Enterprise's_**_**Chief Tactical Officer. Surely an exception can be made."**_

S'Tal looked sorry to refuse them. _**"Forgive me, my Lady. My orders are clear. Minister T'Pau will not allow Starfleet officers to protect you."**_

Trip knew that this was an argument they couldn't win, especially if they hoped to formalize their marriage and raise children on Vulcan. He worried how Jon would react. He had known him long enough to know that discovering T'Pol's heritage would upset him. Not being allowed to protect his own officers might send him over the edge. With Terra Prime still active and the fledgling alliance under constant strain, a diplomatic incident over a Vulcan princess and her mate had to be avoided. Looking over at T'Pol, he asked the one question to which he needed to _hear_ an answer: _"Do you trust him, T'Pol?" he asked in English._

Her answer was without any hesitation. _"I trust him."_

Trip sighed. He would make do. Giving the other man a warm smile of gratitude, he said, _**"It is agreeable to make your acquaintance, S'Tal. Please feel free to call me Trip**__**.**__**"**_ He had to hold back a laugh, when S'Tal raised an eyebrow in utter confusion. Maybe just maybe S'Tal would become a friend.

Vanik walked in and cleared his throat to gain their attention. _"Please forgive the delay. The sandstorms have been very active near Shi'Kahr today. We have just received word that it is now safe to return to the surface, but it will take twice as long to reach our destination. If you will make yourselves comfortable, we will be departing in a few moments."_

She would use the extra time to organize her thoughts and rest before finalizing preparations for Elizabeth's memorial. The pain she tried so hard to control hammered at her again with renewed intensity. She accepted death as a natural part of life, but nothing about Elizabeth's death was natural. They had murdered her innocent child at the beginning of her life. Without logic to hold on to, only pain remained. T'Pol wanted her _**ko-fu **_back, to feel the sweet presence of her new mind and glowing _**katra**_ again. She had not even been able to save her _**katra**_, as Elizabeth's immune system had failed shortly after they had returned to _Enterprise_, making physical contact impossible. Charles had never even had the chance to hold his child. Time travel had never seemed so cruel as it did now. There could be no second chance for her daughter. Her bondmate would forever be denied the chance to touch the little girl he had worshiped. T'Pol hated Terra Prime and temporal mechanics with every fiber of her being.

Just as her feelings began to overwhelm her, she felt Charles touch her hand with an _**ozh'esta**_. "S'Tal told me that he didn't mind if we spoke English for privacy. I think he knows we're bonded."

"That would not be unlikely. S'Tal's empathic abilities have always been strong for as long as I can remember."

"Later when we get some time alone, I want to hear all about S'Tal and how you know each other. Right now, you need to meditate, sweetheart, and no fussing."

T'Pol raised an imperious eyebrow. "Vulcans do not 'fuss,' Charles."

Trip wanted so badly to try and lighten the sorrow coursing between them, but even as he spoke it bled through his voice. "Tell that to some gullible idiot who thinks Vulcans are incapable of feeling emotions."

T'Pol stilled his hand, "I count on you for everything, _**t'ashalik**_. Without you I would never survive this chaos."

"I know that isn't true, sweetheart. You are the strongest, bravest woman I've ever known. But I'm here and I'm staying with you until we're old and shriveled. You will never have to survive this without me. I promise. I know it isn't a logical promise, but I will keep it. I have always been there for you, and I always will be. You remember that." Then while making sure their hands were adequately concealed, he squeezed hers and whispered, _**"Talukh nash-veh k'dular, t'ashal."**_

Captain Vanik's voice suddenly came over the COM system: _**"**_**_Enterprise_**_**has cleared us for launch. Because of the severity of the sandstorms, it will take us approximately forty-five minutes and sixteen seconds to reach our prescribed destination. Vanik out."**_

T'Pol released her bondmate's hand and settled into her seat. "I am much calmer now. Perhaps I will try to rest my eyes during our descent."

"All right, honey, I'll be as quiet as a mouse and maybe this little lady will tell me some of her secrets." His eyes lit up with anticipation.

T'Pol murmured, "I do not know which is more disconcerting: the fact that you refer to the shuttle as a female or the fact that you believe it is capable of communicating with you."

Trip stifled his laughter as much as possible. "Oh hush. You're just jealous." Becoming serious he continued: "Rest, darling. If you need me, just nudge."


	4. Old Pains, New Friends

**AN: Original readers, (if they read this) might notice that T'Pol's second flashback in chapter 3 is now Trip's flashback here. Also this new chapter is also shortened from the original but the rest will end up in other places as well, the restructure is to improve the pacing and flow.**

* * *

**Vulcan Words:**

**Dakh'uh pthak. Nam-tor ri ret na'fan-kitok fa tu dakh- Cast out fear. There is no room for anything else until you cast out fear.**

**kafeh- slave**

**pid-kom- matriarch**

**shaya tonat- thank you**

* * *

While T'Pol was 'resting her eyes', Trip sat listening to the _V'kai_, moderately disappointed. While certainly more luxurious than Starfleet's shuttle designs and upgraded for safety with some rudimentary weapon systems Malcolm would give his eye-teeth for; when it came to the propulsion and engines, absolutely nothing held his interest. Not the treasure trove of technological discoveries he had hoped for. He sighed, gazing at the slow rise and fall of T'Pol's chest and the memories of another time when he discovered his unwitting pillar of strength could break…

* * *

_Trip stood outside T'Pol's quarters alternately berating himself for his excitement at being summoned like a trained pup and worrying that she'd invited him at all. Since their aborted start at a romance, they'd avoided each other until they'd run into their son from another timeline. No sooner had she verbally gutted him by declaring that they wouldn't have the lives their counterparts had, then she'd nearly begged him to come to her quarters a mere two days later. Sighing to himself he activated the chime. _

_"Enter. Good evening, Commander. Thank you for coming."_

_Trip sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, I figured you must be in pretty bad shape. I mean, you did ask to stop the neuro-pressure." Realizing he may have sounded too harsh he spoke more warmly. "Of course, considering everything that has happened in the last week, I need this too. I'm glad you asked me, T'Pol."_

_For the first time since they met, she deliberately avoided his eyes. "My behavior for the last few weeks has been extremely discourteous. For that, I ask your pardon," she whispered._

_Trip sat down on the pillows in front of her, forcing her to look up. "T'Pol, I think in the last few weeks we've both done our share of hurting each other. Sometimes stress makes a person lash out at the ones that mean the most to them. It takes two to argue and scrap, T'Pol. Don't take all of the blame."_

_"I thank you for your generosity, but I assure you it is undeserved. There are other reasons for my behavior, which have nothing to do with the mission."_

_The hairs on the back of his neck stood up at her broken unsteady tone. "Look, I know you haven't been yourself for months, T'Pol. I've tried to stay out of it and give you your privacy. I do want to help, T'Pol. When Lizzy died and I wasn't sleeping, you stepped in and saved my life. Heck, if it wasn't for you, I'd still be drowning in my hate and wanting revenge. That's no way to live a life. You gave me back a future. Please give me the chance to repay you."_

_The expression on her face tore at him her eyes cloaked in an unhealthy sheen. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, to warm her and protect her from anything that could hurt her forever. He forced himself to keep still and listen to her. "Commander, you owe me nothing. I chose to help you because to not do so would have been a great wrong. You are needed, more than I will ever be. Considering how I have treated you I feel it is wrong to burden you with my problems," she asserted._

_Trip shook his head. "No, I choose to help you because I can't sit back and watch you suffer anymore. T'Pol, I don't know what's happened that caused your pain, but I have to help you."_

_T'Pol took a deep breath, then slowly murmured, "__**Dakh'uh pthak. Nam-tor ri ret na'fan-kitok fa tu dakh."**_

_Trip tried to smirk. "You're quoting Surak! Well, whatever it is, it must be bad." Seeing the look of shock in her eyes, he continued: "I borrowed the book you gave Jon. Besides, back when I was working on Earth, the Vulcans would quote Surak all the time. I don't think they appreciated my sense of humor."_

_T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "I can imagine they would frequently need such balance, especially if you insisted on showing your horror movies."_

_Trip laughed. "I wish! Nope, back then I didn't even try to get along with them. I certainly would have never thought to invite any of them to a movie. I didn't even invite one of them out for a drink at the officers club." He sobered. "I was a stupid fool. Knowing you has made me a better man, that's a gift I'll never take for granted."_

_"You have done the same for me, Commander."_

_"T'Pol, whatever it is, don't be afraid to tell me. I would die before I'd deliberately hurt you. Please, trust me."_

_"Do you remember what happened to me on the Seleya?"_

_"Yeah, I know the whole experience was awful for you."_

_"After we discovered that Trellium D was toxic to Vulcans, I asked the Captain to leave me behind on a habitable planet. As you are aware, he refused, even though it was the logical course of action."_

_"Just because it would have been logical that doesn't mean it would have been right."_

_"Regardless, Enterprise still needed the Trellium and I was still a risk to the mission. Also because of my time on the Seleya, my control had been compromised. I decided that the logical course of action would be to attempt to build up an immunity to Trellium. To that end, I began injecting small amounts into my bloodstream under controlled circumstances."_

_As T'Pol's confession sunk in Trip's stomach lurched as shock, terror, and disbelief flooded his brain. Swallowing hard, answered with a calm he didn't feel. "I assume you didn't consult Phlox before you attempted this."_

_"No, he would have been ethically bound to try and stop me. Since I was a risk to both Enterprise and the mission, I could not allow that."_

_"Of course not. That would've been illogical. The needs of the many—" Seeing her disbelief, Trip sighed. "You're not that hard to figure out, T'Pol. I don't know how I missed it. So many things make perfect sense now. Either I'm an idiot or just blind."_

_T'Pol shook her head in confusion. Her voice cracked. "You are not reacting in the way I had anticipated."_

_"We'll get to that in a minute. How did things go wrong?"_

_"I began noticing my control was not as strong as it had been. At first, I thought that the anomalies and the strain of the mission were affecting me more strongly. But then the dreams came—" _

_"What dreams?" Trip asked. He tried not to push too hard and cause her more pain, but he needed to know. When T'Pol started to back away, he blocked her and repeated more tenderly: "What dreams, T'Pol?"_

_T'Pol submitted, knowing he would never back off now. "Dreams of intimacy with you. Dreams of murdering you. I could not bear that. I would die before harming you."_

_Trip softened. Her pain bled through to him, and he was filled with the need to protect her. "It's all right, T'Pol. Have you seen Phlox yet?"_

_She nodded. Her voice was small and hollow, nothing like the rich, confident voice he knew so well. "Phlox said that an anomaly in my brain caused by the __**pa'nar**__ triggered my addiction, but he did not detect it until now. It does not negate my folly."_

_Trip sat even closer to her but avoided the temptation to touch her. "You're right, but that doesn't matter now. We've all made some terrible choices out here. What matters now is that we get you well."_

_"You still wish to associate with me?" The look on her face reminded him of a child awakened from a nightmare and couldn't quite believe she was safe._

_He smiled gently. "It seems to me that you need someone to take care of you right now. Who knows you better than me?"_

_"Phlox has already begun a course of treatment for me."_

_"Yeah, he's treating your illness. But who is taking care of you, T'Pol?" he argued with all his concern and affection for her in his voice. She began to tremble, not knowing how to react to him now. Trip saw this and acted. He gently took her hands in his. "Come on, you need some neuro-pressure and then a good night's sleep. We have all the time we need to discuss this. Lay down and I'll start on your back." As she began to relax, Trip decided to add one more thing before the subject was closed for the night. "T'Pol, will you let me talk to Phlox about what actually is going on? If I'm going to help you through this, I'll need all the information I can get."_

_She owed him this and so much more. "I have no objections. I will make sure he knows he can release any information you want. Ask whatever you feel is necessary."_

_"OK. That's enough of that. Let's get you some rest."_

_Trip continued doing neuro-pressure on her for another two hours before he felt her drifting off to sleep. Gently, he lifted her up and put her in her bunk. Carefully he arranged the extra blankets so she would receive the maximum amount of warmth from them. He made a mental note to put a rush on completing repairs to the environmental controls. Once certain she of her comfort, he blew out the candles and put the pillows back in place. Finally, he stood over her, looking at her face bathed in the passing streaks of starlight. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Well, darling, things are quite a mess right now. But don't you worry, I'm not leaving you. Like it or not, right now you need me. We'll get through this, I promise. I'll always take care of you, and logic will just have to accept that."_

* * *

Dragging himself out of the past Trip took T'Pol's smooth cooler hand in his own. _'What a fool I was, all that time in the Expanse all I thought of was how I could love you if you let me. It took you marrying someone else for me to realize I already did, and it took losing our baby for me to realize you've been letting me love you all along,'_ he thought.

S'Tal sat in the back, never taking his eyes off the couple. He could privately admit to himself that it was quite gratifying to have Lady T'Pol back home despite the tragic circumstances. During the years, her visits home had been fewer and farther between. Now, she had returned with a human mate. Whereas normally he was not a man to dwell on speculation, he wondered what this meant for the clan. With the unrest on Vulcan, many of the powerful clans reinstated their **kafeh** for protection. With the clan of Surak in the center of yet another awakening. However, with T'Pol as **pid-kom** of the clan, things changed. She never agreed with the tradition, believing it to be obsolete. From everything he had researched, S'Tal knew that humans abhorred even the idea of servitude. Logically, Commander Tucker's reaction to the practice would not be favorable.

Suddenly, Commander Tucker rose from his seat, and S'Tal was instantly on alert for any danger. Of all the scenarios he had prepared for, he hadn't foreseen the Commander seeking him out. However, he had heard that humans were very social, and this human was reported to be more so than most. **"May I be of assistance, Sir Tucker?"**

**"T'Pol is resting, I thought I would give her some peace before we land. She needs it. I should have brought something to keep me occupied on the shuttle, but I did not think of it. Everything is in the luggage."**

**"Would you like me to send someone to fetch what you require, Sir Tucker?"**

**"No, I brought things that would not be practical right now. Please, can you explain why you call me Sir Tucker? On Earth, when we put Sir in front of a man's surname it is a title for a noble or someone who attains nobility through a feat of some sort. I am neither of those things."**

S'Tal raised an eyebrow. He had assumed Commander Tucker was aware of his position. He could think of no logical reason why Lady T'Pol had not informed her mate of his status...**"Long before the first awakening, the clan of Surak held extreme power. I believe royal would be the closest equivalent to what you would be familiar with. After Surak's teachings spread, that power changed, but it grew even greater in influence. Members of the powerful clans have been protected for many generations. Surak's is especially protected here on Vulcan. You are the father of Lady T'Pol's child, a child of Surak. That makes you a part of the clan. I will protect you as I protect Lady T'Pol."**

**"So, you are saying that here on Vulcan I am a royal?"**

**"Indeed."**

Trip took a deep breath. He had known T'Pol was royal; she had told him that, one time in the Expanse. But he didn't think he would qualify for the same rights, as he was human. They had been slowly working through the issues of what being married would mean for them. There hadn't been time for this talk, and Elizabeth's death had just pushed things into warp drive. **"May I ask you some questions, S'Tal?"**

S'Tal hesitated, if Lady T'Pol had a good reason to withhold this information from her mate, it was not his right to interfere. **"You may. However, there may be some things that Lady T'Pol must answer."**

**"Fair enough. I do not expect a problem there. I did know she has very high status on Vulcan. I knew this status passed to our daughter. I did not know I was eligible. We have been wading through a lot of issues because of our differences. We did not cover social status yet. The death of our daughter has made things more complicated,"** he sighed. **"Right now, you probably believe I am a poor mate for her."**

**"I do not know enough about you personally to even attempt at making such a judgment. Nor would it be my place to do so if I did. However, I know Lady T'Pol, I know she would not choose you if you were unworthy."**

**"You seem to know her well."**

**"I have been protecting Lady T'Pol on Vulcan all of my life."**

**"I was on Vulcan when she married Koss. You were not there, or I would have remembered you."**

It took every bit of S'Tal's considerable training to keep his composure. Commander Tucker had quite innocently stumbled on the most intimate aspect of any Vulcan's life by stating a perfectly valid fact. S'Tal felt obligated to answer the unasked question. **"Unfortunately, my wife and I had personal business that could not be delayed. I regret not being able to fulfill my duties at that time."**

Trip understood, Vulcan biology, particularly mating practices, was one of the first subjects they had tackled after finding out about the bond. S'Tal's nonspecific answer was clear enough. Impressed that the man had answered him honestly, if not specifically, Trip's instincts aid that this man was a good man. In some ways, he reminded him of Malcolm. **"I understand. That brings me to my first real question: Who are you? I mean, how exactly does your job work?"**

**"As you know, my name is S'Tal. The answer is not as complicated as it might seem. I am what your people would call a slave."**

Trip gulped, **"Excuse me!"**

It was a better reaction than S'Tal had expected,** "Thousands of years ago, Vulcans were a very war-like race. Powerful clans wanted to eradicate other powerful clans. About two thousand five hundred years ago, the clan of Surak conquered my clan. During that time, powerful clans conquered weak ones and the weak ones served as protectors and slaves for their masters. My clan was the first that the clan of Surak conquered. My ancestors have protected the clan since the beginning, and I do so today. If Lady T'Pol has more children, my children will protect them until the day they decide if they will leave Vulcan. Once off Vulcan, because their clan name is secret, there is no need for protection. But my father decided to accompany Lady T'Pol's father. So that might happen again." **

**"But what about after the awakening? Why keep the system if the wars were over?"**

**"Just because we stopped trying to annihilate each other does not mean important people are no longer targets for evil. Look at what just happened with the discovery of the Kir'Shara, and the bombing of the embassy. Surak's clan has been at the heart of Vulcan society for far longer than Surak himself. There will always be danger.**

**"If it is your job to protect the clan, then why were you not protecting Lady T'Les?"**

**"My clan was not the only clan conquered, and my clan was not responsible for Lady T'Les. My clan is assigned to protect the children of Surak. After the death of T'Pol's father, Lady T'Les absolved her protecting clan of their oaths."**

**"So, your ancestor protected the children of the man who conquered your clan, and his children protected their children, until we get to you and T'Pol." **

**"Correct, the firstborn protects the firstborn, and so on."**

Trip nearly choked on his next words, **"And if we did not have any more children?" **

**"My children could carry on protecting you both if I should die or be absolved of the oaths."**

**"So, what happens if T'Pol and I had three children and you only had two?"**

**"My eldest would protect your eldest child; the second, by my second, the youngest child would be protected by my first brother's eldest child."**

**"I apologize, because I realize this is a personal question: Why did you stay behind when T'Pol left Vulcan? You said your father left with her father."**

**"I decided to remain home for several reasons. Perhaps the most relevant one was that my skills do not recommend me for working off-world. I did not pursue the same training my father had. It would have been highly illogical for me to be protector to Lady T'Pol when her identity was safe. My duty was to keep her from harm by enemies here. That is what I trained for."**

**"But you were not there when she went looking for the Kir'Shara with my captain."**

S'Tal's eyes narrowed, and a hardness came over his features. **"V'Las had imprisoned all the clans that protect the clan of Surak. He told the high command that we sympathized with the Syrannites and would rise against them. By the time I escaped it was too late to get to Lady T'Pol. A great deal of blood was shed in those days."**

If there was one thing Trip had come to have a greater respect for over his years on _Enterprise_, it was the sanctity of life. As he and T'Pol had grown closer over the years, he had come to have an understanding about how seriously a Vulcan viewed taking a life for any reason at all. Knowing that S'Tal had likely killed people he had known, and had watched some of his own kinsman die, Trip could see the toll the man carried was heavy. **"I grieve with thee, S'Tal."**

**"Shaya tonat, Sir Tucker."**

Trip couldn't help but chuckle softly, he had been holding it in since S'Tal had first addressed him that way. **"Do you really have to call me that, S'Tal?"**

S'Tal had to take a moment to consider his answer. Logically, referring to a person using an honorific was appealing to their vanity because of status. However, while logic is the foundation of Vulcan society, hierarchy is just as crucial. Some old customs were kept out of respect and honor for heritage and tradition. S'Tal believed in this very strongly, but he also liked the Commander, he wanted him to feel comfortable. **"I need not call you that if it offends you."**

**"It is not that I am offended. It is just very odd to me. I have been called Trip all my life because I am the third son of my family line to be named Charles David Tucker. My father is a sir, his father was a sir, but I am most certainly not a sir. Would you be willing to address me as Trip without the sir?"**

**"If you wish it, Trip."**

**"Shaya tonat," **Trip smiled, feeling more relaxed now. Then he thought of something else. **"Do you suppose the shops in the city would have the equipment needed to build a communicator with a universal translator?"**

**"I am certain of it. Is your own broken?"**

**"No. I want to make one for you."**

**"I do not understand. We do have these devices; however, I typically do not need one for my duties. You most certainly do not need to build me one."**

**"The universal translator you would use is Vulcan standard, correct?"**

**"Yes."**

**"I will build you one. I am not authorized to give you one from Starfleet, but I can build one for personal use. Hoshi Sato, who developed our universal translator, is constantly improving things. One of the improvements was to translate human idioms. If I were speaking English, I could express myself better."**

S'Tal arched both eyebrows. **"Your Vulcan is very satisfactory. You do have a slight accent where you draw out sounds, however I have no trouble understanding you."**

A beaming grin broke out on Trip's face. He didn't think he would ever get tired of confounding Vulcans. **"Yes. Thanks to T'Pol, I learned, even though it was not an easy process for either of us. She made sure I would learn and speak properly. She did not want me, or anyone I may speak to, having a lot of difficulties. I just find speaking Vulcan confining."**

**"You are aware that there is modern Vulcan and traditional Vulcan?"**

**"Yes. I speak both. T'Pol taught me traditional Vulcan first. She wanted me to have a firm grasp on formal proper speech. I do find modern easier, but formal Vulcan is romantic to us humans, so we usually use it when we talk to each other. It is like Shakespeare, or poetry by authors from centuries ago. I find it almost emotional..." **The expression on S'Tal's face betrayed his extreme discomfort at Trip's statement. **"I know that statement can be an insult, but I do not intend it as one. However, both forms are far more formal than the way I am comfortable speaking."**

**"You are not the first to say that traditional Vulcan is emotionally charged. Most of the time it is only used in formal ceremonies. It shows respect for our past and our heritage. I am sure that the longer you speak both forms of Vulcan, more comfortable you will become with expressing yourself. I never thought I had a logical reason to learn English. However, I must now reconsider that conclusion. My wife will be most pleased, because she is a teacher. She thought my conclusion was most illogical. She believes all learning has a logical purpose."**

Trip was starting to genuinely like S'Tal. He was easy to talk with, and the idea of having another man close to his age (biologically speaking), to help him through the adjustment to a Vulcan family was very appealing. Most importantly, Trip sensed that S'Tal didn't seem uncomfortable around his emotions or his relationship with T'Pol. **"That actually brings me to another question. Your wife, is she considered a slave too? If she is, how does she serve the clan?"**

**"Yes. T'Rai is a member of Lady's T'Les' former slave clan. When we married, she took my clan's oaths. However, she does not serve in the same way. In ancient times, the women of the slave clans only guarded the clan members when the home itself was attacked. Otherwise, they were chiefly assigned domestic tasks, artisan crafts, or cultivating the land. Now, women may protect clan members if they choose to, and submit their oaths. But my wife prefers the traditional domestic role, as it allows her to teach. Members of protecting clans all get the same training to fight for defending the clan. It is tradition. In these times, many clans, not just the clan of Surak, have taken their protecting clans back."**

**"What if two clans make an alliance? Do they trade the slave clans or individuals from a slave clan?"**

**"No, that is strictly forbidden. We are not cattle or property. When a ruling clan conquered a weak clan and made them a slave clan, the oaths of protection were mutual. The slave clan swears to die for the protection of the ruling clan, the ruling clan swears to die for the protection of the slave clan. A betrayal of either oath is the greatest dishonor. In fact, there was a time when, if either clan broke the oath, the offending clan was destroyed. Now, the offended clan is absolved of all oaths. If the offending clan was the ruling clan, they lose the oaths of all of their slave clans.**"

**"That is not how slavery worked on Earth."**

**"Fascinating, I think I would like to know more."**

**"S'Tal, slavery is considered a very shameful part of our history. We humans are ashamed of it. What about property? Do slave clans have any?"**

**"Vulcan is hardly proud of its history. However, we remember it in order to never repeat it. By law, all our land belongs to the ruling clans. However, with that comes the guarantee that if a catastrophe happens to us, like a house being destroyed, or a crop failing, the ruling clan must assist us. In turn, we assist them if tragedies occur."**

**Trip thought of Terra Prime, and his anger started to rise. "My people seem to be forgetting again because of hate." **Taking a deep breath, he continued asking his questions,** "What if your children decide that they do not wish to protect mine?"**

S'Tal was silent for a moment. He could not comprehend such a wish. **"When they came of age, they would have to petition Lady T'Pol to absolve them from their oaths."** Then a rather wry expression crossed his face. **"Two thousand years ago I would have had to put them to death. It is fortunate that is not the case now."**

Trip winced at the words and took a long breath, **"That is most fortunate."** Looking out the window he realized they had time for only one or two more questions.** "What have you been doing all these years while T'Pol has been away?"**

S'Tal's lips curved into a smirk. He did not want Trip to think he had been sitting at home idle while his wife worked.** "I am a member of the Ministry of Security. My duties pertain to the safety of this planet and its government."**

**"Hundreds of years ago, the United States had an organization like that. It was called the Federal Bureau of Investigation. I think I understand a lot more now." **Then Trip's eyes lit up as comprehension dawned. **"One more question... How close are you to apprehending V'Las?"**

S'Tal bowed his head in acknowledgment of the other man's quick thinking. His eyes once again narrowed and his voice became hard,** "I believe it will be quite soon. We are working diligently."**

**"I wish you success."** It was as close to a "good luck" as the Vulcan language would allow.

S'Tal shook his head, **"Justice cannot fail. If we fail the consequences will be the destruction of Vulcan as we know it."**

**"Shaya tonat, S'Tal." **

**"It was most enlightening, Trip. I am gratified to be of assistance."**

**"I will probably need much more assistance before I leave."**

**"I am here to offer you whatever you may need. As we are about to land, perhaps you should see to Lady T'Pol. I have security arrangements to make."**

**"Of course."**

Trip went back to T'Pol and found her sleeping. He knew she hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep the past two weeks despite her Vulcan physiology. Mostly because of him. Grief once again caused a serious bout of insomnia. While they were on Vulcan, he wouldn't let her try to shoulder every burden again. "Hey Darling, we're about to land," he whispered.


	5. Friendhip vs Tradition

**AN: Hi folks, glad for all the comments and encouragement. If you can, please make a free account, so I can reply to people through PM I love to talk to readers. Desy asked for my Penname over at Triaxian Silk. I mentioned it in Chapter 1's Author's note, but it's WarpGirl. If anyone else wants to read the messy, bloated, immature, original version of this story up to the original chapter 6, please go to Triaxian Silk dot com, and support the amazing archive there.**

* * *

**Vulcan Words:**

**Ashau nash-veh tu t'k'hat'n'dlwa- I love you, the other half of my heart and soul**

**t'sai- Lady**

**ta'al- Traditional hand gesture of courtesy**

**pid-kom- matriarch**

**Pid-trensu- High Master or Male Priest**

**ozh'esta- Finger kiss**

**katra- soul**

**k'diwa- shortened form of 'the other half of my heart and soul' Vulcan endearment**

**kali'farr- Vulcan Wedding Ceremony**

* * *

T'Pol opened her eyes to see her bondmate above her, looking at her with such tenderness her breath caught in her throat. She answered softly, "It would appear you were correct in your assessment that I would need more rest then I had anticipated."

Trip smirked, "I _do_ know you pretty well, and I always know when you're tired. I knew long before the bond. I also know I've been keeping you from getting your rest. That stops while we're here."

T'Pol sighed, "We shall see. I hope you were not uncomfortable while I was resting. I know how prolonged periods of inactivity are tedious for you."

"Well, this shuttle told me absolutely nothing, but Malcolm would give his eye-teeth for a look at the weapons," Trip grumbled.

"I did try to tell you that you would learn very little. However, I doubt Lt. Reed would be interested in the weapons systems. They are even more basic then those on _Enterprise_."

Trip stifled a laugh, making it sound like a cough, "Do you tell Malcolm his weapons are basic? Because if you do, it's amazing he lets you in the armory. I think he'd just tear them apart to make them better and figure out how to install them on our shuttles."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "I am First Officer; Lt. Reed cannot deny me access to any part of the ship; however territorial he is of his armory; he realizes that there are many other weapons systems more technologically advanced than Starfleet's. We have had many interesting conversations on the topic."

"I'll bet you have," Trip winked. "Speaking of interesting conversations, I spent my time having an extremely interesting chat with S'Tal."

T'Pol's eyes widened and both eyebrows went up, leaving Trip feeling quite victorious. "I am quite surprised S'Tal engaged in conversation while performing his duties!" Pausing a moment, she continued, "He would never do so with me."

"T'Pol, we're on a shuttle and there is nobody but Vanik and the pilot of the _Ti'Mur_. Really, how much focus does that take?"

"Perhaps you are correct. However, he has changed."

"It has been a long time since you've seen him."

The soft thump of the docking clamps engaging signaled that the journey was over. It was time to face the next forty-eight hours. Unknowingly, Trip and T'Pol had the same thought: _'By the end of two days, Elizabeth will be buried.' _

While true telepathy had not yet manifested, and might never manifest in their bond, the emotional awareness between them was constant and powerful between them, a shared metaphorical heartbeat invisible but always present. The type of emotions determined the rhythm of the pulse. Grief came in solid waves for Trip. A crushing force that would hit then slowly recede again and again. T'Pol felt the raging winds of a hurricane, constant and savage, tearing through her leaving nothing but chaos, until a small eye came giving a short measure of time to mount a defense for the next phase.

Standing up, T'Pol gripped the seat in front of her. Her breathing was labored in small, quick, sharp, gasps. She simply could not put her daughter in the ground and be left with only a few precious memories. It was intolerable, unbearable! How could she endure this and be strong for her bondmate? Yet, she had let him down so many times. To fail him again, to fail _Elizabeth_ in such a way, would be unforgivable. While she had many faults as a mate, she would not fail as a mother. Not to Elizabeth, nor to any children she may have with Trip.

Trip's eyes filled with tears, but he managed to keep them from falling. Despite being an "emotional human", he hated crying in front of people. This especially applied to strangers, but he tried to avoid it even with his closest family. The only person he let that barrier down for was T'Pol. The only thing worse than burying Elizabeth was leaving her behind. It felt like he would be losing her all over again. It was irrational, but the thought, and the feelings that came with it, remained. Seeing how much T'Pol was struggling, he leaned into her as close as he possibly could without touching her. "It's alright. I'm here. Take a few deep breaths. You're not alone, and we're gonna get through this together," he whispered into her ear.

T'Pol turned and gripped Trip's shoulders. She did not care that there were others to see them touching at this moment. Her grief overwhelmed her, and she needed her bondmate's support. "I cannot fail Elizabeth. I cannot fail you. But I am weak now. I do not know how I will endure this."

He knew their grief and T'Pol's anguish sparked his anger, but he couldn't help it. He snapped, "Stop thinking in terms of failing me, failing Elizabeth, or being weak. We lost our baby, T'Pol, this isn't like what happened before. You aren't failing anyone."

Her eyes filled with moist dejection. Her tone betrayed resignation and shame, "Every time we have faced trials, I have always failed you. It is logical to conclude I will do so again, given our experiences."

Those tears in Trip's eyes got more difficult to hold in. Unfortunately, he understood that sometimes when T'Pol actively avoided doing anything that might hurt anyone, including herself, she ended up causing more pain to herself and him. At least this time she did not shut him out. He hoped he could help her through this, but in truth, he wasn't feeling very strong either. Taking a deep breath, he made his voice as soft and soothing as he possibly could. "T'Pol, you have _not_ failed me. We both make mistakes, that's life. I just want you to answer two questions- Are you going to leave me?"

Her head snapped up to meet his eyes. She did not see or hear any accusation from him. His eyes were sad, but she could see he trusted her. That knowledge gave her more confidence, she believed in him. It helped her believe in herself. "That is no longer an option. I will never leave you."

Despite the sadness and helplessness that he felt about Elizabeth, hearing T'Pol say those words gave him so much joy and love that he was surprised he didn't burst. A tiny smile formed on his lips, and he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "OK then, do you trust me not to leave you?" he whispered.

"Yes, always."

"Then there is no reason for you to believe you'll make the same mistakes," then he smirked, "it's illogical."

T'Pol's eyes widened exponentially and an eyebrow rose as high as physically possible. "Explain!"

"True or false... When conducting an experiment, if the variables change, the outcome can change?"

"True."

"We changed the variables, Darling. That's why we'll have a different outcome. That's basic scientific logic."

T'Pol didn't particularly like English. A language where too many words had too many meanings. Especially the word love. That word was used too freely. You could say you love anything, yet it could mean nothing. Because of this, she rarely just said 'I love you'. It didn't mean _enough_. Fortunately, she could say something to convey to Charles just what he meant to her. **"Ashau nash-veh tu t'k'hat'n'dlwa."**

Trip's hands started to shake, so he took hers and squeezed them. Of all the times she had let him know that she loved him, and she had done so many times, even before either of them knew it— None had ever been so open before. It didn't matter now if she thought she would fail him. He knew beyond doubt that if _they_ worked together, _they_ would succeed even with a thousand mistakes. **"Ashau nash-veh tu t'k'hat'n'dlwa,"** he whispered.

S'Tal finished his security checks on the landing bay and was ready to escort T'Pol and Trip home. He had also managed to obtain a universal translator from a colleague. Since the explosion at the embassy, extra security remained in all areas of public transit. When S'Tal ran into the man, he didn't need his translator anymore, so he graciously lent it. Now _'Trip'_ would not have to worry about speaking Vulcan under tremendous stress. As he re-entered the shuttle, he found them waiting with their luggage. For the first time, he saw the terrible grief they bore, and he wondered how T'Pol did not go mad, being bonded to a human.

"Lady T'Pol, all is ready for our departure."

Trip smiled as he heard the English. He really thought he might make a good friend out of S'Tal. "Vulcan standard?"

"It will do for now, Trip."

T'Pol started when she heard the nickname. All her life, she had been Lady T'Pol and nothing else, no matter how hard she had protested the logic of using it. How had Charles managed to convince this very traditional man to break his implacable etiquette? Turning to him with the same look on her face as when she was pulling rank, she asked, "Trip?"

"T'Pol, being called Sir Tucker made me feel like I was in "_The Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court_." S'Tal was just being nice."

T'Pol remembered the movie. She had enjoyed the music, and it had sparked an intense discussion about the improbabilities of time travel. As with most of the films shown during movie night, the story was adapted from a book. She always took it upon herself to read the book, and like always, she had enjoyed the book far more. Now, she had to admit that Charles' reasoning was both amusing and appropriate. The situations were not entirely dissimilar from a cultural perspective. Still, S'Tal had categorically refused to extend this same courtesy to her for the past six decades and she wanted an explanation. If it was possible, the expression on her face grew even more intimidating, "S'Tal, is there a reason you decided to break protocol?"

S'Tal's expression was completely impassive, as if she was an ordinary young woman remarking on the weather. "Trip requested I do so, my Lady."

"I have made the same request many times," she sighed.

S'Tal remained unmoved. "I am aware of that, my Lady. Perhaps we should be on our way." He saw Trip start to reach for the bags when S'Tal stopped him. "I received a message saying you were not to carry your bags because your shoulder is not healed. The attendants will arrive momentarily."

Before S'Tal had finished speaking, two boys walked in, they couldn't have been more than the equivalent of fourteen human years, and they were identical twins. Two clan names were embroidered on their tunics. one was T'Pol's, the other was S'Tal's. They did not speak; they merely bowed their heads in acknowledgment, took the bags and walked to the transport.

"Are they your kids, S'Tal?" Trip asked.

S'Tal looked almost amused at the question. "Hardly. I have three brothers. They are the two youngest."

"I've never seen Vulcan twins before."

"It is rare."

"Do they have names?"

"Yes."

"Do they speak?"

"When it is appropriate."

Trip sighed, he knew this mood. This was the same mood Malcolm got into when he wanted to get the hell out of dodge and the Captain didn't. "OK, let's go home."

S'Tal led them out of the shuttle and to the transport. The front had one long seat, and the back had two separate chairs. T'Pol gave him a look of disapproval; he knew she preferred to walk. She had been extremely restless since discovering Elizabeth's existence, and grieving had made her crave physical exertion. However, that was not an option. While the boys took their seats in the front, S'Tal motioned to her to get in the back. She opened her mouth preparing to protest when Trip interrupted.

"T'Pol, I promise somehow we'll find a way to go for a long walk later. But for now, let's get to the house before S'Tal calls for reinforcements. He's as edgy as Malcolm is at a First Contact."

T'Pol got into the transport. S'Tal bowed his head at Trip in admiration. Trip just shrugged his good shoulder, and got in. Once inside, S'Tal took the controls and began navigating. Finally, after a few minutes he blurted his thoughts out. "Who's spying on us for Phlox? He's been down here all day with Elizabeth. There's no way he could have known about me carrying those bags unless someone tattled."

"I am sure whomever it was, was only concerned for you, Charles."

"Whoever did it was nosy and can't keep their mouth shut!"

"We passed several MACO's."

Trip snorted, "And they told Malcolm, and Malcolm told Hoshi, and Hoshi told Phlox. Why can't people mind their own business?"

"Charles, if you had heard Lt. Reed had aggravated an injury, you would have reported it to Phlox, chastised him severely, and then told Hoshi. They are our friends; they are trying to help."

The rage inside Trip that he was working so hard to control started leaking out. "They can't give us our daughter back! They can't blow Terra Prime into a black hole!" he snarled.

T'Pol leaned forward but Trip looked out the window. "Charles, look at me."

He turned.

"They _can_ make sure your arm heals properly they _can_ make sure I eat when you cannot. They _need_ to try and help us. As you have taught me, it is part of being human. We also need them. You know this."

Trip fought the urge to punch something, anything. So much for controlling himself and not offending Vulcan sensibilities. This was why he hated grieving, why he avoided it with every It never let go, it never gave you a few minutes peace. He'd think he was fine for a little while, and then, suddenly it took control, leaving him helpless. It didn't matter how much time passed; it was always lurking in the shadows, ready to devour him. He turned to S'Tal and the boys, worried that they had never witnessed such a display. **"I apologize for any offence."**

Surprisingly the two boys spoke in unison, **"There is no offence where none is taken."**

"They speak!"

S'Tal glared at his brothers, **"It was inappropriate to do so."**

The two boys looked properly chastised and remained silent.

"Why can't they talk?"

T'Pol decided it was time to try and explain some of the family requirements to Trip. It seemed wrong to do so at this time, but there were many things that they would have to settle during their stay besides Elizabeth's memorial. "They have not been formally presented to us, Charles."

"Huh?"

"I told you after mother died that I would become Matriarch of my clan after a period of mourning."

"Sure."

"That period is not finished. When it is, I will be installed as Matriarch and the clans my family conquered will be presented to me. There are oaths exchanged-"

"S'Tal mentioned oaths before."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow but chose to move on, "Until the oaths are exchanged, Selak and S'Troa cannot speak in front of me unless their father presents them personally."

Trip felt a little chafed with all the formality, "So they do have names."

T'Pol gave him a look that said she was not impressed.

Trying to subdue himself, he stated the obvious, "They were talking to me."

"You are my mate."

"Not exactly."

"I believe you would say 'close enough.' Regardless of the semantics, they cannot address me or you before they are presented."

"S'Tal, why did you bring Selak and S'Troa along? They don't have to carry my bags. Shouldn't they be in school, and where is your father anyway?"

"My father Sovi is active in the hunt for V'Las and the remaining terrorists that attacked the embassy. I have his express permission to have the boys with us. This is a part of their training, and all senior clan members aid with training. School was cancelled because of the sandstorms."

Trip felt a headache coming on, he pinched his nose and rolled his eyes. "S'Tal, when you told me that who you are and what your job is "wasn't that complicated," you should've qualified that statement by saying it isn't complicated for a Vulcan. I'm human and I'm finding this very complicated."

S'Tal raised an eyebrow, "Understood. However, I find you have had a remarkably good grasp of the subject thus far."

"Thanks. How soon can Sovi present them to us? I'd like to talk to them."

"Tonight, should be possible. You may talk to them, Trip. They may not answer you."

Trip's mouth fell open, he knew teasing when he heard it. It didn't matter that S'Tal's tone and expression was all business. Turning to T'Pol he smirked, "Look T'Pol, a Vulcan with a sense of humor."

T'Pol was looking at S'Tal in much the same way she looked at Phlox's specimens or anomalies under her scanner. "Much has changed," she whispered.

S'Tal knew she was addressing him. "Indeed."

A short time later they arrived at the house. S'Tal told the boys to get the bags and to bring them to T'Rai, and they quickly complied. He exited the vehicle and began a perimeter check. T'Pol moved to exit but Trip took her hand. "Let the man do his job, T'Pol."

T'Pol took a deep breath trying to quell her frustration. "He is overcautious."

"Not according to the Captain. Things aren't too stable around here. You know more about it than I do."

"You are correct."

"It's not being protected that bothers you. It's the fact S'Tal calls me Trip, and that he talked to me on the way here."

T'Pol's eyes were glittering with the betrayal she felt, "When I was six years old, S'Tal was presented to me as my protector. We were trained together we spent our entire lives together up to the moment I left Vulcan. In all that time, he refused to call me T'Pol. Always, _always_, I was **t'sai**. If we were in public, he never spoke to me. He was my protector. Never ever a friend. Yet, he breaks every protocol he held with me after less than an hour of knowing you."

Trip sighed and squeezed her hand, "You've always wanted him to be your friend."

T'Pol looked down in shame. "Yes. Mother thought it was shameful. No doubt S'Tal does as well."

"No, Darling. You are important to him. He never took his attention off you, not for one moment. He's hurting for you, and he's glad your home. Keeping you safe is important to him as a person."

Her eyes didn't believe him. "He did not tell you this."

Trip smirked, "I read Vulcans pretty well. He didn't need to tell me anything."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "This is true."

S'Tal singled that it was safe to disembark. Once again Trip was impressed by the elegance and beauty of the house and grounds. The very first thought he had when he saw it was _'Lizzy would've loved this.'_ Everything about the house would have appealed to his sister's design sensibilities. He could hear her voice in his head describing it... _Restrained grandeur, with a refined sense of function and serenity._ Lizzy had been the visual artist in the Tucker family, so such a statement made perfect sense to her. Trip thought the house must have been wonderful for T'Pol as a child. Bright and open, with plenty of room and beautiful gardens. He often pictured T'Pol as a little girl exploring and learning. He had pictured many things about this house. His most cherished dream had been watching little Elizabeth roaming around the garden with her mother. The knowledge that it would never happen ate at him.

T'Pol stepped out of the transport and took a moment to absorb the warmth of her home. Although it was winter, like Earth's southern hemisphere Vulcan was experiencing its summer. The heat rolled over the desert in waves that seemed to permeate her being, filling a place that had been empty far too long. Years of memories telling her she was safe and cherished flowed through her mind calming her considerably. They had a home they had the protection of the clan and all who belonged to it. She had not realized the importance of such comfort until she had lost her safety on _Enterprise_. Only the knowledge that Elizabeth had never known this place, and its peace, marred her own contentment.

"We could have been happy here with her," Trip whispered.

"The time will come. We must believe that, Charles. For Elizabeth."

"For Elizabeth and ourselves."

"We should go inside. You will become badly sunburned if we remain here."

Entering the house, Trip immediately saw a woman who he guessed was T'Rai. She was nothing like he expected her to be. Where everything about S'Tal was large and imposing, everything about T'Rai stood tall yet delicate. Despite her stature, she exuded grace and elegance. Trip thought of his sister-in-law Jeanie, a dancer and very strong. T'Rai's long coal-black hair was wavy and looked almost wild, as if she had stood in the storm and let it blow. She had a pretty face, soft features with huge dark brown colored eyes that sparkled brightly. Most of all he saw her rounded pregnant abdomen not at all concealed under her simple sleeveless robes.

T'Rai raised her hand in the **ta'al** and surprised them both by speaking in slow, careful English. "Peace and long life, My Lady, all is ready exactly as you requested," she paused a moment before continuing more softly, "I grieve with thee."

"Live long and prosper, T'Rai. May I present Commander Charles Tucker III, Elizabeth's father."

"Peace and long life, Sir Tucker. Please excuse my English. I have only been learning for a short time."

Trip returned the** ta'al**. "Live long and prosper, T'Rai. your English is very good. Please call me Trip, or my use rank if you prefer."

Through her bond, T'Rai felt her husband's approval of that idea, something she had not expected. "As you wish, Commander."

T'Rai's pregnancy didn't surprise T'Pol, but she wondered why she wasn't told. "I was not aware you are expecting a child."

T'Rai pulled her shoulders back slightly in an almost defensive way. "I realize it goes contrary to custom, My Lady, however, there have been complications with my pregnancy. S'Tal and I agreed that the logical course would be to wait until we were sure all dangers had passed before we informed you, **pid-kom**."

T'Rai's addition of the Vulcan word in her heavily accented English reminded T'Pol of just how loyal she was to the clan. T'Rai was the daughter of T'Pol's mother's protector, his only child. After T'Les had absolved her protecting clan of their oaths, T'Rai and her father had moved into the main city of **Shi'Kahr**. T'Pol barely knew her, but T'Les had written that the young woman had visited her often after her own mother's death. The knowledge had made T'Pol uncomfortable. She had never been able to form a close bond with her mother, despite the link they shared. All her life, she had known she was inadequate because of her differences. Even though they had made peace before T'Les' death, T'Pol still felt the space in her **katra** that remained unfilled. Despite all logic, she wondered if her mother had felt such emptiness, and if so, had T'Rai filled it? Pushing the thoughts aside, she focused on the fact that, outdated tradition or not, this child was a part of her clans. She had a responsibility from birth to protect all members if the unborn child was in danger, and she would do everything in her power to ensure its health and safety.

"What is the prognosis of the pregnancy now?"

T'Rai's eyes glowed and her face softened, "I have found out this morning that the danger is past now."

T'Pol had to struggle to not let out a sigh of relief. "If you wish, Dr. Phlox of Enterprise could examine you. He is the finest physician I have ever known."

"I thank you, My Lady. There is no need. I am sure both you and the Commander would like to get settled now. There are also several messages for you."

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. Vulcan clans in mourning were granted as much privacy as possible. Technically, the clan was still in mourning for T'Les as well as Elizabeth.

"Messages?"

"Yes. One from Lord Soval, one from Minister T'Pau, one from Ambassador V'Lar, one from **Pid-trensu** Salden, one from Dr. Yuris, one from Captain Archer, and one from Koss."

For a moment, T'Pol was concerned that Charles would react badly to Koss contacting them. But she felt no ill will or jealousy through the bond. Still, all her hopes for a quiet evening alone with him were dashed. Resigning herself to the inevitable, she decided to focus on one task at a time. For the moment, it was unpacking, then after that, responding to the messages. "Charles and I would like to get settled now. Please rest, T'Rai."

"Very well. When would you like the mid-day meal?"

"I will attend to it. Please rest, everything seems to be in perfect order. You have our gratitude."

"It is my honor, My Lady."

T'Rai walked out into one of the gardens and Trip started walking to the room he had stayed in the last time. T'Pol reached for his arm to stop him. "Your bags are not in the guest room."

Trip frowned in confusion. "Why?"

"You will not be sleeping there."

"Where will I be sleeping then?"

"Come with me."

For a moment Trip thought they were headed to her room. He didn't mind, he had practically lived in her quarters for the last two weeks. True, they slept on the floor after hours of neuropressure and meditation to keep from going insane, but they needed it. He'd do that the rest of his life if necessary. Then he realized she was leading him to her parents' room. The significance of the gesture wasn't lost on him. She had lost so much; both of her parents had died very young by Vulcan standards. He couldn't even imagine sleeping in his own parents' room. "T'Pol if it's too soon, we don't have to sleep in your parents' room."

"I do not understand."

"Your mama hasn't even been dead a year, Darling."

T'Pol frowned. She thought she had studied human death rituals enough to know what would be acceptable for her mate. "Are you saying that according to your culture, our using the room is inappropriate?"

The noise from one of Malcolm's god-awful alerts was filling his head. This could mean serious trouble. "No. It's just that we've got so much to deal with right now. I know how much you loved her, T'Pol, and I know losing her still hurts you. It still hurts me."

T'Pol wondered if all human men were as tender and concerned for their mates as Charles was for her. Logically the answer was no. After all, some Vulcan couples had less than satisfactory relationships. But she had to admit that she held a great deal of pity for people who were lacking such a person to share their lives with. Knowing that discussing the differences with the way they dealt with death would be entirely inappropriate, T'Pol decided that showing would be better than telling. "Come with me, Charles."

Trip let her lead him to the room and followed her inside. Immediately his jaw dropped in shock. T'Pol had sprung surprises on him since the moment they met, starting with her looks. But she always managed to outdo herself. Walking into her parents' room, he found himself in the identical room he had lived in, at the house in Florida. The same deep sapphire blue walls. The same furniture, right down to the antique mirror his mother was so proud of. The same lighting. The floors were redone with the same hardwood. The model boats he used to build with his father were displayed the way he had them at home. The few pieces of art, and the many photographs, were in the same places in the same frames. Even the bedding was the same, down to the pillowcases. It was as if he was right there in his old home. The only difference was the crest hanging on the wall above his old bed; it was identical to the one T'Pol had in her quarters.

"T'Pol— how— why? I don't understand."

"Your mother was most helpful when I explained I wished for you to be comfortable whenever we had opportunity to be here."

"You called my mom and told her to send my old room?"

"Not exactly."

"Well what exactly, and when did you do this?"

"I did this about three months ago. We were planning on coming here for our leave, I wanted it to be ready."

"OK, let's start at the beginning. When did this idea occur to you?"

"After you came back to _Enterprise,_ we discussed how we would divide our time whenever we went on leave."

"Yeah, we'd alternate between my place in San Francisco, and here. That's _not_ happening now."

T'Pol decided to ignore the last part of his statement, "I thought that it might be more comfortable for you to be surrounded by some of your own things. This is _our_ home."

"How did mama help?"

"You know we have been in contact since we decided to keep our bond, or as you put it, become engaged. You_ insisted_, Charles. You told me it was an important part of human mating rituals."

"Of course, I did! You're my family, they're _our_ family."

"Precisely. I told your mother I wanted to redecorate the house in a way that would make you feel at home here. She suggested this room because it was yours. I found her suggestion logical. I knew what it looked like from the 'Home Videos' you have shown me. I found it aesthetically pleasing. I decided to transport the items, and T'Rai contracted the workers to make the necessary adjustments to the room. It was quite simple."

"No candles?"

The corners of T'Pol's mouth turned down in displeasure. "I will have to find holders that match the new colors. The ones I owned were unsuitable."

Trip nearly laughed. She wore the same expression whenever he wore one of his Hawaiian shirts. When T'Pol found something ugly, nothing could convince her that there was anything redeemable about it. When a Vulcan appreciated beauty, they did not tarnish it in even the smallest way. "You did all of this for me."

"Of course."

"And _you_ like it too?"

"Yes. It turned out more satisfactorily than I had anticipated."

Trip wasn't quite convinced. "And getting rid of your parents' things doesn't bother you?"

"I still have them. They have been put away in case we should ever choose to use them again, or any other children we may have want them. My aesthetic tastes differ from my mother's. I find this color quite soothing."

Trip had only one thought going through his mind: _'How things change!'_

"Charles, Charles, Charles..."

"Yeah, sorry I was daydreaming."

"Your emotions are in confusion. Perhaps we should meditate."

Trip immediately understood. _'Too much at once, I can't understand, please help me.'_ "No meditation needed, just let me hold you."

T'Pol went into his arms, hoping that his touch would make the reasons for the mass of conflicting emotions he was experiencing clear to her. She, quite illogically, envied humanity for the ability to control many different emotions all at once. Vulcans had to isolate each emotion from the others and process them one at a time. Years of training, hard work, and of course a Vulcan brain, made this process simple when one was surrounded by other Vulcans. But her years with humans had made it a constant struggle to isolate the constant bombardment of their disorganized emotions. Now that she was bonded to Charles, didn't merely sense this chaos, it became a part of her.

Trip held her so closely that not even air could flow between them. He wished he could take his sling off, but he had promised Phlox to wait until tomorrow. His free hand stroked her lower back, and he pressed kisses to the top of her head. Whenever she sensed any emotional chaos from _anyone_, a primal survival instinct flowed through to him. He knew he couldn't stop the chaos, for that was what it meant to be human. He now understood why she couldn't live without her emotions organized and in control. The smallest slip had the potential to destroy her, and one already nearly had. The aftermath of the Trellium-D had opened his eyes on how much she went through daily in order to do the job she believed in. What he learned made him regret some of the things he had done and said to irritate her, or the times when he refused to trust her. But now, being bonded to her brought a whole other level of awareness. She had to understand _why_ he felt certain things, or else she could not process them. If she could not process them, she could not control them, and if she could not control them, she was lost.

"It's all right, T'Pol. I'm still amazed that I have you now. Before you start apologizing again, being amazed is a good thing. I'm supposed to be amazed that the most beautiful, strong, smart, loving, woman in the universe wants me."

"Your amazement is disconcerting at times. I wish I was better able to understand it."

"I know it's hard, darling. I wish I could make it easy. I might not be able to protect you from every danger in the universe, but I can make sure that my feelings won't erode your control."

T'Pol took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. Touching his face, brushing his consciousness like this, brought her so much peace. She found it odd that kissing relaxed him (it certainly never relaxed her), but she reveled in his contentment. Perhaps a kiss did the same thing for him as the **ozh'esta** did for her. In any case, he needed this form of affection, and in these matters, she would deny him nothing. "I am also amazed by you," she whispered.

Trip smiled, "So if I behave myself and stop getting into trouble, is there anything you won't do for me?"

_'I am starting to understand why so many women on Enterprise refer to his charm as lethal. He truly is hard to resist when he wants to be, even when he does not want to be, for that matter.'_ Even with the thought running through her head, T'Pol kept her face neutral and tried to keep her amusement from flowing to him. "I refuse to eat any sort of animal flesh. Although the odds of you not finding trouble in some way are astronomically low. With that logic, I very much doubt I will be in a situation where I would be willing to do _absolutely anything_, such as eating meat."

Wonder of wonders, it worked! Trip did start to laugh. Not the unrestrained, loud laughter he was so known for. The sound and the hope in it warmed her to the depths of her **katra**. Trip pressed another kiss on her lips. "Well, you're probably right there. Still, I think I've got a pretty good life ahead of me if the only thing you ever flat-out refuse is catfish. Let's get unpacked and get to those messages. Maybe then we can just hide out for a while."

T'Pol struggled to suppress a sigh. "I do not believe that will happen until after the ceremony."

The first message came from Soval— Greetings my child, Commander... Please forgive me for not being able to meet your shuttle. The sandstorm grounded all traffic in the city, and then an emergency meeting of The High Council was called. My presence was requested on a matter of great urgency. I will stop by as soon as I am able. My brother and his son will be joining me. Contact me if you should need me sooner.

Trip sighed, "What do I have to do to get him to call me something other than Commander? For cryin' out loud, I'm the father of his great-granddaughter! I don't call him Ambassador anymore."

T'Pol turned to look at him, "Have you asked him to call you Trip or something else?"

Trip thought for a moment, and his eyes grew wide at the realization that he hadn't done so since long before he and T'Pol had decided to get married. "I didn't think I had to. I mean, I did ask him for permission to marry you. Isn't that a clue?"

T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "Not for a Vulcan."

"And decades of living on Earth hasn't cured him of that?"

"Perhaps he does not wish to be _cured_. However, it is more likely that he finds your discomfort entertaining. Talk to him and he will desist, except while performing his duties."

Trip scowled. "He's a crafty one."

"He _is_ an ambassador. Shrewdness is a necessary attribute."

"You've never told me anything about your uncle, and I never knew he had a kid."

"I have never met my uncle, and I did not know he had a son. It is a complicated situation. As soon as we finish these messages, I will explain."

"OK. Who's next?"

"Captain Archer."

Trip, T'Pol— Where are you? It must be those god-forsaken sandstorms. Look, change of plans... For reasons nobody down there wants to be forthcoming about, I'm taking a shuttle down with Hoshi, Malcolm, and Travis as soon as it's safe. Apparently T'Pau needs to meet with me on a matter of, and I quote: "extreme urgency." But, of course, we don't need to know more than that! I thought I was past this evasion business with Vulcans. After all, I only carried Surak's** katra**... Good old-fashioned Vulcan gratitude is alive and well. Anyway, we're staying at the Embassy. We'll be over as soon as we can.

This time, T'Pol didn't even try to hold in a sigh. "Something is very wrong."

"You think it has something to do with us or Elizabeth?"

"That is highly unlikely. Because of the precautions being taken, the odds of any disturbances being successful are almost non-existent. The people with reason to harm us are either dead, apprehended, or about to be apprehended. They did not have the time it would take to plan a successful strike at the ceremony."

"You would know better about that then I would. So, any ideas as to what the fuss is about?"

"Not at this time. I have not been paying attention to the events here since we returned to Earth for the conference. There are many things that could have happened in that time."

"True enough. We'll have to get caught up while we're on leave. Who's next?"

"Minister T'Pau."

Greetings, T'Pol. As you have no doubt been informed, unforeseen events have prevented the usual greetings on your return. It is most unfortunate that proper etiquette cannot be observed in your time of need. However, be assured that these delays have nothing to do with either your safety or the safety of Commander Tucker. I have asked Captain Archer to come to the surface ahead of schedule because I believe his time carrying Surak's **katra** could yield some information to help with certain problems Vulcan is now facing. Perhaps after the ceremonies are completed, we will have a chance to discuss these matters further. Your insights into covert operations could be invaluable. However, you are under no obligation. This is your time of rest and reflection. Peace And Long Life.

Trip let out an offended huff that T'Pau seemed to disregard him as Elizabeth's father. "Well, it's nice to know what she thinks my part is in all of this," he growled.

"It is strange that she did not acknowledge you. Perhaps it is because of her limited experience with humans. You must remember that the first human she ever met was the Captain."

"S'Tal said I was the first human he ever met, and that was today. He knows what he's doing."

"S'Tal had two weeks to prepare for our arrival. T'Pau is concerned with running the government."

"Sorry, I guess I'm overreacting."

"There is no need to apologize. You may be correct in believing she does not think your involvement to be significant. If that is the case, we shall enlighten her to the facts."

"Well, before we start enlightening, let's get the rest of these done, and then we need to eat."

"Agreed. Phlox is next."

Hello Commanders, I suppose the sandstorms delayed your arrival. They are particularly bad this time of year. I just wanted to inform you that all went extremely well. Everyone I have worked with treated Elizabeth with extraordinary reverence and care. She is now safely at rest. Several prominent physicians have expressed interest in my records regarding her genetic makeup. Of course, I have told them all that without your express permission, those records are sealed and will remain so. However, there is one young woman here, a Dr. T'Lyri, with a most earnest desire to help Vulcans in inter-species relationships to have their own children. If you can meet her, I urge both of you to listen to her. The philosophy of _Infinite Diversity Infinite Combinations_ is undergoing a powerful resurrection here, which is very good news for the two of you. I will be staying with Dr. Yuris. If you should need me for any reason, I have my communicator.

Trip took T'Pol's hand and gripped it hard, grateful for her Vulcan strength. "What do you think, Darling?"

"I will not release information about our child to anyone who might even potentially abuse or exploit it. However, I am not averse to helping others like us have their own families. Especially if Phlox is correct, and healthy children are possible with Human/Vulcan DNA. I am willing to at least willing to hear Dr. T'Lyri's views. If you decide you to not wish to give anyone access to Phlox's records, then I will support it."

"Do you really believe that there are other people like us out there, T'Pol?"

T'Pol's eyes began to shine in a way Trip had never seen before. Her whole face softened, and hope filled her voice, "I believe that there _will_ be others like us. Now, that we have the **Kir'Shara**, so many false teachings that have spread throughout Vulcan are being overturned. I realize that generations of intolerance will take time to be removed, but no true follower of Surak will be able to deny the truth of his words. Yes, I believe there will be many others like us. Not just Humans and Vulcans, but many other different species coming together."

Trip wanted to believe her, he truly did. Just three weeks ago he did believe in that. However, Paxton, and more importantly, Masaro, had dealt a severe blow to his faith in other people, human or not. He knew that there were plenty of people on Vulcan that would not approve of their relationship. The only hope he had was that at least on Vulcan, the odds of someone killing them would be lower. On Earth, he couldn't even have that hope. Still, as morbid as he was feeling right now, the fact that T'Pol believed that there would be more people like them kept a small spark alive.

He sighed and said a quick prayer for courage. "If we can, we'll help. But no names on any files. OK?"

T'Pol gently squeezed his hand. "Agreed, **k'diwa**."

The next message was from Ambassador V'Lar— Greetings Commander Tucker, Commander T'Pol. Please forgive this intrusion on your time of mourning. If it is agreeable to you both, I request the honor of calling on you and expressing my most sincere condolences. Please contact me at any time at your convenience. Live Long And Prosper.

"Hey, she addressed me first?"

"As anyone would address my husband."

"She thinks we're married?"

"How many times have I told you? Because we are bonded, Vulcans will consider us married."

"But how does V'Lar know we're bonded? Did you contact her?"

"No. However, no matter how Elizabeth was conceived, we are her parents. She must believe that due to our bond with her, we bonded with each other."

"I wasn't bonded to Elizabeth."

"Yes, you were, through me. That is why you cannot fully push down your grief the way your instinct directs you."

"Wait a second," he tried to make sense of her words, but shook his head, "nope, I'm lost."

"You resist grieving. You have admitted this to me. My bond with her was severed without my having time to prepare myself. I do not have the control I normally would have, and it is affecting you as well."

Trip stiffened. "You resist grieving plenty."

T'Pol tilted her head in acknowledgment. "This is true. However, I cannot do so now."

"I guess it's good for us that we can't fall back on bad habits."

"I believe so."

"Who's next?"

Salden, the priest who had married T'Pol to Koss appeared on the view screen— Greetings, My Lady T'Pol. Your daughter Elizabeth was safely buried in the most secure part of the Clan's grounds. Please contact me at your earliest convenience if there are any special arrangements you would like to make for the ceremonies. Live Long and Prosper.

"Darling, why do I get the impression he doesn't like me?"

"You are wrong. He thought you behaved most honorably at my wedding to Koss. He addressed only me because I am Matriarch now, and I contacted him to let him know that eventually we would want the **Kali'farr** to make our bond official."

"Maybe we should have gone over the clan stuff before we did the biology stuff."

"What is it you tell me? Oh yes: _Hindsight is 20-20_."

"You can say that again."

The next message was from Dr. Yuris and was identical to Ambassador V'Lar's.

"Well, he was original."

"It is a standard message that those from outside a clan give to a grieving family. It was thoughtful of both of Ambassador V'Lar and Dr. Yuris to use English for you. They have no way of knowing that your knowledge of Vulcan is exceptional for a human."

Trip almost smiled. "Well that's only because you are a beautiful and brutal task-master."

T'Pol raised her eyebrow. "Lt. Reed taught me a human proverb I find a great deal of wisdom in: _Anything worth doing is worth doing well_. Teaching you Vulcan was something very much worth doing."

Knowing he was thoroughly beaten Trip kissed the top of her head. "And it was very much worth learning. Let's see what Koss has to say, and then we really gotta eat. You missed breakfast, and its past lunch on Earth time."

Greetings T'Pol, Commander Tucker. Please allow me to express my most sincere grief for your loss. If it is agreeable, my wife T'Lor and I request the honor of calling on you, at any time you wish. Live Long and Prosper.

"I did not expect him to even be informed," T'Pol whispered.

"If anything, he should want me dead."

"No. He respected me, he even cared about me. But I was as much a duty to him as he was to me. He was willing to fulfill that duty if I was willing to do so. He knew I would never be willing to truly be his wife. Even without you, we were too different. He did not want to lead that life any more than I did. It is regrettable that my actions and decisions made life more difficult for himself and his family. I truly wish him peace and fulfillment."

Trip place a quivk kiss to her cheek. "Your compassion and kindness are two very big reasons I love you so much. Well, maybe now that the mess is over, we might get to know each other. Do you know his wife?"

"No. But I hope she is better suited to him than I was. Would you like to help me prepare lunch?"

"What's on the menu?

"Salad for S'Tal, T'Rai, the boys, and myself. Grilled ribeye steak and salad for you."

"Where did you get a ribeye steak!"

"We do have markets that sell food for the human population here, Charles. Just like Earth has Vulcan markets."

"I'm starving."

T'Pol pinned him down with a look. "Hardly."


	6. Interstellar Complications

**AN: Let's see if it works this time... I apologize for the mess that came out of the first attempt. Thanks to those who sent me messages saying the chapter came out in wonky coding speak. Stay safe, healthy, and considerate to each other dear readers.**

* * *

**Vulcan words: **

**ta'al- traditional hand gesture of courtesy**

**katra- soul**

**Rihannsu- Romulan**

**Vok-Van-Kal t'Kan- memorial service for a child**

* * *

Captain Jonathan Archer, flanked by Lt. Malcolm Reed and Ensign Hoshi Sato, barely tolerating going through the final security check in the private residence of Minister T'Pau. He supposed he couldn't be too careful; after all, the new government was still in its early infancy. Still, a half dozen security checks seemed just a little extreme considering the part he and the crew played in getting the new government installed. He glanced at his Chief Tactical Officer and noted the younger man's admiration and approval of all the precautions. He winced as he thought of the list of recommendations, he saw coming his way. Finally, they were let through.

Jon let out a sigh of relief. "About time," he muttered.

"Better safe than sorry, sir," Malcolm piped up in a tone that was far too chipper.

Jon rolled his eyes and ignored the younger man's comment. "Hoshi, any protocol I may have missed?"

"Not that I know of, sir. The protocol is the same as when we were dealing with the High Command. However, at Elizabeth's funeral, things will be different."

"Well, we'll go over that later. First things first, let's see why they needed us down here so quick, with no explanation."

They entered a spacious office that was calm, neutral, and aside from a crest on the wall (which looked remarkably like the one in T'Pol's quarters), very spartan. In other words, typically Vulcan. T'Pau was dressed all in black behind her large desk, and it made her seem even more intimidating than Jon had remembered her to be. When she saw them enter, she gracefully rose to her feet. "Peace and Long Life, Captain."

For a moment Jon stood stunned at the heavily accented but otherwise perfect English. Quickly, he pulled himself together and returned the **ta'al**. "Live Long and Prosper, Minister T'Pau. May I present Lt. Malcolm Reed, my Tactical Officer, and Ensign Hoshi Sato, my Communications Officer."

T'Pau inclined her head to acknowledge them. "Forgive me, Captain, but I must insist our conversation take place privately. If your officers would wait outside, I will make sure they have refreshments and rest."

_'And it begins...'_ Jon thought. Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that he had to be a diplomat now. "Minister T'Pau, I assure you that I trust my officers completely and their security clearance is more than sufficient."

T'Pau allowed herself a moment of internal disappointment, foolishly forgetting how stubborn Jonathan Archer was. Especially when he thought that he or his crew were considered untrustworthy. "Captain, what I need to discuss with you is a matter of the highest secrecy. I assure you that there is no security clearance high enough. If you had not carried the **katra** of Surak, you would not be here now."

_'What in the name of all that is holy is going on!'_ Jon wondered. Swallowing his pride, he nodded his head to indicate he agreed.

T'Pau nodded to him in thanks. Then she called her attendant, "Please see that Lt. Reed and Ensign Sato are made comfortable and have refreshments. Anything they request, they are to receive."

The young man bowed. "If you will follow me, please."

Malcolm didn't like leaving his Captain anywhere that wasn't _Enterprise_. After Masaro's betrayal, he felt more wary, even in secure locations. However, he had to admit, with the security that Minister T'Pau had, there was little chance of something untoward happening if the captain was with her. He complied readily, walking behind Hoshi.

"So, what do you think that was all about?" Hoshi asked when the doors closed.

"I have no idea. But I'm certain it isn't good."

Hoshi felt a desperate need to cut the tension that was rapidly building. "Are you sure it's not your normal paranoia?"

"Yes."

_'So much for cutting the tension.'_ "And you willingly left Captain Archer alone."

If he hadn't been on duty, Malcolm would have shrugged. "If there was any danger here, they wouldn't leave Minister T'Pau alone with the Captain."

Hoshi smiled, suddenly feeling much better. "Very logical, Lieutenant."

Malcolm grinned. "Considering where we are, that is a superlative compliment."

Hoshi's tone of voice turned as smooth and rich as melted dark chocolate, "Well, Lieutenant, I am the Communications Officer, it's my job to find the right words for the right occasions."

It took all of Malcolm's training to keep him from winking. "Quite right, Ensign, quite right."

Jonathan Archer rarely found himself speechless when dealing with Vulcans. Usually, being too busy fighting them for humanity's place in the stars. But right now, he felt quite out of his depth. He began to re-think the idea that carrying Surak's **katra** gave him a mass of insight into Vulcans. "I'm sorry, Minister, I don't understand what it is you want from me. I've never heard of the, 'Re-shan-oo,'" he stumbled over the strange word.

"**Rihannsu**, Captain. Are you sure there is nothing?"

Jon wracked his brain for any tiny clue about what T'Pau's interrogation. Whatever her problem, it defied typical Vulcan secrecy. If she were human, he would have even used the word desperate. He strained bring up anything and everything from the time he held Surak's **katra **to his conscious mind. But again nothing. "I'm sorry. There's nothing," he growled, furiously shaking his head.

T'Pau could sense his frustration, and his desire to help. To that end, she attempted to be less abrasive and more encouraging. "Perhaps the terms 'reunification' or 'those who march beneath the raptor's wings' may help."

"Those who march beneath the raptor's wings... Are you serious?"

"Completely, Captain."

"It sounds like the title to one of Trip's horror movies."

T'Pau's voice hardened. "I beg your pardon."

Jon sighed, "Never mind, Minister. I do seem to remember the term reunification, but not from Surak."

"How then? Please, Captain. It is of the utmost importance."

"I'm sorry Minister, I can't remember. At least not consciously. Most of that period is very blurry for me. I know what I did, what I saw, even most of what Surak said to me. But I have no clear memories of experiencing it. Occasionally, I have knowledge of something I don't remember ever learning. Like mind-melding: I can't do it myself, but I know some techniques. To tell you the truth, it is extremely confusing."

Despite the urgency of the situation Vulcan was in and the great need for any information Captain may have locked in his mind, T'Pau did have compassion for his situation. After all, he did not consent to Arev transferring the **katra** to him, nor did he consent to have her try to take it from him. The residual effects from bearing such a heavy burden must take a tremendous toll on him. However, as much compassion as she held for him, she did need any information she could get about the enemies that had come so close to destroying all of Vulcan by corrupting their most fundamental teachings, and then by trying to deny them their heritage in an attempt to destroy their mental abilities. "Captain, please believe me when I tell you that I do not take your struggles lightly. I can only imagine the burdens you carry. I admit my actions when we first met have added to them. But if the information that I seek is anywhere in your mind, I must access it."

Jon threw his hands in the air in agitation. "Are you sure I have what you're looking for?"

T'Pau turned to look outside her large window with a perfect view of Mt. Seleya. The very place Surak had preached logic and peace to a bloodthirsty and irrational race. The same place he died for those teachings. She could not let anything stand in the way of keeping the society he founded from being destroyed. However, she could not repeat the mistakes she had made the last time with Captain Archer. Logic and honor dictated she tell him the truth. But part of her, a large part, wanted nothing to do with off-worlders interfering in Vulcan affairs. Unfortunately, she did not have that option now. "No, Captain, I am not certain you have the information I need. However, you are one of the very last resources I have in attempting to find it."

Now Malcolm's alarms from the alerts were blaring in Jon's skull, and he felt a migraine coming on. Migraines made him more uncooperative on average. He pinched the bridge of his nose, took a few deep breaths and tried to control himself. "Let me guess, you want to dig around my mind, and hope that I have what you're looking for."

T'Pau was not going to get into a debate on semantics now. "A somewhat simplistic summary, but yes. I assure you I would not ask this of you if it were not absolutely necessary."

He glared at her with eyes full of distrust, frantically searching for any sign of untruth. "Sure, you wouldn't. Even with _the needs of the many_ hanging in the balance? Don't forget, you've crawled around in my skull before, T'Pau. I do know a little about you."

"Captain, at the time, I truly believed my actions were necessary to save my people. At the time, I believed them to be right. If I had to do it over again with the same information I had then, I would make the same choice. I will not force you to do this now, but I am asking you to help me again."

Later, when he was lying in bed with Porthos, Jon would realize that looking at T'Pau in that moment was like looking at a more controlled, perhaps colder version of himself. But in that moment, rage tore through him. His face was flushed, his eyes bright with anger. "That's what the Xindi said when they obliterated seven million people and killed twenty-seven members of my crew," his restraint from shouting made him sound like a snarling predator.

T'Pau stayed cool to the point of being glacial; her breathing was perfectly even. Her eyes almost dull, and her heart rate perfectly steady. "I am aware of that, Captain. Just as I am aware you used the same reasoning to justify your own actions in the Expanse. Perhaps in certain ways, we are not so different."

"Save it! Your people weren't slaughtered in an unprovoked attack! Your people weren't going to be annihilated!" he shouted.

T'Pau stood there, completely undisturbed. It was almost as if she was one of the statues so carefully cut out of the rock that adorned the sacred places of any and all worlds. Then, with a voice so calm, so composed, so completely and utterly unfettered by the stress of emotions, she uttered three words and changed the entire moment. "Yes, we were."

Jon went completely still. The idea of anyone destroying Vulcan seemed completely unfathomable. They had been the bane of his father's existence, and his own, for so long that he couldn't even begin to imagine any differently. Also, although he had met several species with superior technology, he just couldn't think of any of them that would want the Vulcans gone that badly. True, there were the Andorians, but they were about evenly matched in terms of technology. Even with all the bad blood and distrust between them, it wasn't to the point of genocide. Perhaps some individuals would not be against the idea, but the two groups as a whole? No. The Andorians weren't the enemy here. But then who? And why wouldn't anybody else know about them? How was it logical not to confide in your allies in a situation like this? He knew the Vulcans were about as secretive as a group can get, but this was extreme even for them. He could feel the muscles in his neck tightening more with each passing moment. The dull throbbing in the back of his skull was just beginning to whisper. In a few hours, the pain would be excruciating, and his stomach wouldn't want any food. And of course, today was the day he skipped breakfast, due to the numerous security briefings he'd been in, trying to make sure Terra Prime was off his ship. He again pinched his nose and rubbed his eyes in a futile attempt to forestall the inevitable.

"Captain, are you ill?"

"No, I'm just getting a migraine. It's common when you're a Captain, it's even more common when I argue with Vulcans."

T'Pau raised an eyebrow in a way that clearly conveyed she was not impressed. "That is most unfortunate, Captain. I can send for a physician immediately before your pain gets worse."

"No. I don't like painkillers. I'll either call Phlox or deal with it at the embassy later. Thank you for your concern."

T'Pau thought the man's insistence to delay treatment was one of the most illogical things she had ever observed a human do in the short time she had been interacting with them. If she thought he would accept it, she would offer to help. As a priestess at Seleya, she was trained in various healing techniques. However, it was most likely that he would take her offer as a ploy to gain access to his mind. In any case, to interfere would be extremely rude. "As you wish Captain. However, I cannot meld with you when you are in pain."

Archer glared. "I haven't said I agreed, Minister."

T'Pau did not wish to agitate him again, especially not when he was in pain. She acknowledged his statement with a tilt of her head. "Can I take that to mean you will not agree?"

Thoughts started swirling around in Archer's head, _'Why in God's name does it have to be all or nothing with these people? No middle ground, not ever! Its either all logic or all emotion and instinct, all peace or all war, agree completely or disagree completely. No wonder they give me migraines!'_ Taking what had to be the millionth deep breath since he walked into the room, he managed to calm himself down for a more civil reply than the one in his head. "I haven't decided either way, Minister. Before I do, I want the entire story. If you're going to go running around my mind searching for something that might not even be in there, I deserve to know why. I want the truth, the _entire_ truth. Otherwise, you'll have to go through Starfleet Command, and I'll need a direct order to agree. I doubt they will do that without the entire story. Either way, you'll have to give up this secrecy. It's your decision, Minister, and I'll give you however long you need to make it. After Elizabeth's funeral, my crew is due for a ten day leave at Risa. A leave they badly need. However, you are more than welcome to travel with us as a guest aboard _Enterprise_, or, since Trip and T'Pol are staying here and meeting us by transport when leave is finished, you could join them. Again, it is entirely your decision."

"Your request is reasonable, Captain. I will need some time to meditate on the proper course of action. Would you be willing to meet with me again tomorrow morning?"

"Of course."

"Very well, it is agreed," She said, then paused for a moment before continuing, "There is one more matter we must discuss."

And there it was again, that familiar feeling of dread. "And that is?"

"You and any crew members attending the **Vok-Van-Kal t'Kan** for Elizabeth must be briefed for security purposes."

He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. _'And here we go again.'_ A short time later, Jon was sitting stunned, trying to process what he had just been told. _'How could she not tell me? I thought I had earned her trust, her respect. How could she betray me and the crew this way?'_

T'Pau was disturbed by the expression on his face. She hadn't thought it was possible, but he was even more angered by T'Pol's social status then he had been at her request to look for the information she needed.

"Captain—" she began tentatively.

Jon cut her off, "Does Starfleet know about this?"

"No. As I explained to you, T'Pol's heritage is a closely guarded secret off Vulcan. But traditionally, Vulcans usually do not discuss their families with outsiders, noble or not."

"Do you understand the danger that put my crew in?"

T'Pau raised her eyebrow. "Explain."

Jon threw his hands in the air and began pacing. "Do you know how many times she has been shot at, kidnapped, assaulted, and the thousands of other dangers she has been exposed to on_ Enterprise_? How many of my crew could have been in severe danger if somebody with a grudge against Vulcan, or against her, attacked us because of who she is?"

T'Pau waited for him to stop pacing. "Those are the very reasons that members of noble clans keep their identities a secret from outsiders. It is only logical."

Jon snorted. "You really think that your enemies don't have or can't get that information?"

T'Pau raised an eyebrow at the human's uncouth manner. "The only people who could use such information against Vulcan would have to understand our clan structures and traditions, Captain, something Vulcan will always ensure is not common knowledge to outsiders regardless of alliances or interstellar associations. I do not agree with T'Pol's request to allow you and your senior officers to attend the **Vok-Van-Kal t'Kan**. Unfortunately, I am unable to refuse. That is why I must have your word that what you and the other _guests_ see and hear at the ceremony will never be reported to Starfleet or spoken of carelessly."

Jon glared at his diminutive adversary allowing his comparatively massive frame to dominate their shared space. "You're a piece of work, T'Pau. But I repeat my question."

"Your attempts at intimidation are as unnecessary as they are pointless, Captain Archer. However, to answer your entirely inappropriate and meddlesome question, Vulcan security has just completed apprehending and incarcerating all of those involved with the criminal element of the former Vulcan High Command. Therefore, the odds of any enemies to Vulcan's security discovering T'Pol's status as Matriarch of Surak's clan off world are negligible at best. That is of course I have your word that both you and your officers will keep this information confidential for the sake of the beneficial relationship between our peoples," T'Pau answered, never breaking her eye contact with the larger man.

Jon sighed, rubbing his temples. "You and I both know that neither of our worlds are willing to dissolve that relationship, despite your personal opinions, T'Pau. That said, one day the secrecy you so value will hurt Vulcan, and when it does, we may not be able to help."

"No one can foresee the future, Captain, but this one thing I do know. We will never abandon or tarnish the most sacred traditions that make us who we are. If you cannot accept them then you have no place here. Do I have your word that the rituals of our people will remain private?" T'Pau demanded.

"You have it," Jon growled. "But one day, Vulcan will have to trust others. Otherwise, you may find yourself abandoned to the very danger you're trying to stop."


	7. The Foundations of Family

**AN: Getting closer to the place where the original ends. Scary for me, because the pressure skyrockets to keep up the momentum from there. I want to thank all you Dear Readers for the generous, kind, and fortifying support as I dive back into this world. Thank you for the comments, (so encouraging and sustaining to any writer,) the favorites and follows makes all the work and nerves worth it. It is my sincere hope this story continues to be a bright spot of fun for everyone. However constructive criticism is so very valuable to me, more precious than gold.**

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**Vulcan Words:**

**Pid-trensu- priest or high master**

**Pon Farr- time of mating**

**ta'al- traditional hand gesture of courtesy**

**da ek'zuru- an IDIC pendent**

**Del'haiu- honored elder (male)**

**tel- psionic bond between mates**

**Shaya tonat- thank you**

**Dif-tor heh smusma- live long and prosper**

**Sochya eh dif- peace and long life**

**tushah nash-veh k'odular- I grieve with thee (speaking to more than one person)**

**ozh'esta- finger kiss**

**Yatau- the male of a breeding pair**

**sa-mekh- father**

**k'diwa- the other half of my heart and soul (shortened form)**

**Fullara- Vulcan memory wipe ritual**

**plak tau- blood fever**

**V'tosh Ka'tur- Vulcans without logic**

* * *

**AN: According to Amok Time TOS T'Pau is Spock's great-grandmother the wife of Solkar the Vulcan who made first contact with Earth in First Contact. That said, ENT made her too young. So that is now corrected here. Gents who fell crazy in love with the actress who protrayed her on ENT. Just add 20 earth years she's still beautiful.**

* * *

Trip helped T'Pol finish washing the dishes. It brought back memories of watching his father's parents in Mississippi do the dishes after large family dinners, and his mother's parents cleaning up after Sunday breakfast in Dublin. He remembered the first time he realized that was what he wanted for himself. It was the day he had found out that Starfleet wanted to recruit him. Papa and Nana Tucker had outdone themselves with a celebration dinner, and then had the messiest soapsuds fight ever in their entire marriage. The next day, he went to Dublin for brunch with Pops and Grans O'Neill and watched as they carefully scrubbed and buffed every piece of Waterford crystal and Wedgewood Blue Willow china with military precision. What he remembered most was that both sets of grandparents looked at each other the exact same way. He promised himself then and there, that no matter where Starfleet took him, he'd find that. He glanced at T'Pol inspecting the dishes carefully to ensure perfect cleanliness. The expression on her face reminded him so much his Grans he nearly dropped the fork he was washing.

T'Pol touched his shoulder tenderly. "Are you ill? Did I cook the meat improperly? I followed chef's instructions exactly."

"No. Lunch was wonderful. When you said you got me a ribeye, I didn't think you'd cook it. You could give my Papa Tucker a run for his money at the barbeque."

T'Pol's eyes glowed brightly at the praise but she soon turned serious, "To be precise, I grilled the meat."

Trip smirked, "Chef teach you that?"

"He taught me the technique, but I have been doing research on the consumption of meat in the human diet for some time. In fact, in the early 1990's there was a whole television network devoted to the preparation of food. Humans find ways to turn anything into an obsession. Why is that?"

"You know, come to think of it I have no idea. We just do," Trip shrugged. "Are you all right? The smell must have been hard for you."

"Of course. I look forward to telling your mother my first attempt at preparing a meal for you that included meat was successful. She said if it went well, she expected my help at family functions."

"Hey, if it ever bothers you, you can stop. Contrary to popular belief I can cook my own supper. I just rarely have a reason to do it."

"I find cooking satisfying. In any case, much of our time will be aboard _Enterprise_."

"Well it looks like we're done here. Does everything pass inspection?"

T'Pol carefully looked over the tableware one final time. "Yes."

"You know, you reminded me of my Grans and her dishes. I was just thinking that I've wanted to do this with the woman I'd spend the rest of my life with for so long." After quickly checking to make sure they were alone he lightly kissed her. "Thank you."

"You are welcome," she whispered.

"Let's go and sit down so you can tell me all about this mysterious uncle. Why is he such a secret?"

"He is not a secret. My uncle is **Pid-trensu** at the temples in Gol. Gol is the most sacred of sites on all Vulcan since before the time of Surak's Awakening. Most of the priests and priestesses sever all ties to their relations in order to devote themselves completely to their duties."

"Like people who entered ancient religious orders, on Earth?"

"That is a good comparison. Although it is my understanding that a great many of those orders prohibited marriage and expected their members to live lives of chastity. Complete chastity would be impossible for a vulcan male. One thing you may find unusual is that if a person decides to cut ties with their family, they can request that their names are no longer spoken in the family, unless circumstances such as ours compel them to re-establish contact. Because he left long before I was born, I do not know my uncle's name."

"So, this is going to be quite the reunion. Why don't you know your aunt or cousin?"

"The only explanation I can think of is that he decided to resolve the **Pon Farr** with a priestess, and they chose to bond. Once they were bonded, their child would be raised at Gol with them."

"OK, I think I get it now."

Outside, another transport was approaching the house. When T'Pol saw it from the window she stood up. "They have arrived. You must answer the door."

"Last time I was here I had to answer the door. What am I, the butler?"

"I will explain later."

The chime echoed through the house and Trip went and opened the door. Later he would swear his heart stopped beating for a moment. He didn't even see Soval or the young man standing there. Standing right in front of him was Solkar, the Vulcan who spoke to Zefram Cochrane after his warp flight. The first Vulcan ambassador to Earth, and apparently his future uncle-by-marriage.

Even though his mouth felt as dry as the sand surrounding him, Trip somehow managed to get words out. "Please come in."

Trip stepped back to let the three men into the house and thought Soval had a rather smug look on his face. He wouldn't have doubted for a second that Soval had set that scene up, just so he could watch the results. T'Pol was also stunned by this revelation. He could feel it flowing through the bond. Her eyes had gotten as wide as a five-year-old seeing a huge cake covered in thick, sweet, creamy frosting. He didn't blame her, the only thing more astonishing would have been Zefram Cochrane himself coming through that door.

Soval's concern for the pair escalated now that he was seeing them. They looked pale and sleep deprived. He could tell T'Pol had lost weight, by his estimate just over two kilograms. It was weight that she could not afford to lose. Trip 's blue eyes were made even more vivid by their being red-rimmed, and severely bloodshot. The dark circles beneath them and the pallor of his complexion proof of extreme exhaustion. He knew that several people wanted to visit and pay their respects, but he thought rest would be better for them both.

T'Pol stepped froward and raised her hand in the **ta'al**. "Peace and long life, Grandfather."

Soval raised his hand and pressed his palm to hers, the v of their fingers aligning perfectly. Their pain washed over each other, and he struggled to keep his voice even. "Live long and prosper, my child."

Trip felt the pulse of their bond changed instantly. The tiny ripples of anger and pain that were constantly torturing T'Pol were now being absorbed by Soval, and his pain by her. He realized that this was the Vulcan equivalent of a bear hug. The same type of embrace a child receives when hurt or devastated by the process of growing up. He was sure that he had never seen something so bittersweet and wished he could capture this beauty in some tangible way. He found himself longing for Lizzy again, she could see something once and sketch it out perfectly. Somehow the moment would have lost something, if it could have been photographed.

The embrace between T'Pol and her grandfather had lasted less than a minute. However, the opportunity of being able to fully interact with him as his granddaughter had invigorated her more than she thought possible. Here, they would be a family publicly, for the first time in a long time. Now, it was time to meet those of her family she had never had the opportunity to know. Soval turned to Trip, "I am gratified to see you are healing, Commander." Then he held his palm forward.

Trip was awed by the gesture. This went far beyond his expectations. After all, he still hadn't called him anything except Commander. Summoning every trick, he knew, both human and Vulcan, he tried to make sure his emotions weren't too intense. Then when he was reasonably confident that he wouldn't overwhelm this remarkable man, he raised his hand... The moment their palms touched Trip's mind buzzed. He couldn't feel Soval's mind or emotions. Even with a vulcan mating bond, he was still one hundred percent human. But he could sense something familiar that he couldn't truly define. As if a thread allowed him to sense the connection between Soval and T'Pol.

_'Was this how it was for all Vulcans?'_ he wondered.

Soval turned toward his brother and nephew. "My brother, my nephew... May I present my granddaughter, and her mate Commander Charles Tucker III. He prefers to be addressed as Trip."

Solkar was tall. His warm brown eyes were filled with compassion and kindness. His face was relaxed. It had none of the tension that seemed present in so many of Vulcans. His face showed everyone here was a man who had attained true inner peace. His demeanor made the regal black robes, adorned with gold embroidery, and the large, jewel encrusted **da ek'zuru** he wore around his neck, seem as casual as the jeans and white T-shirt the young human wore.

Solkar stretched out his right hand in a gesture he hadn't practiced in over eight decades. "I am honored to meet you, Trip. I grieve with thee."

"The honor is mine, sir, and I thank you."

"This is my son Skon."

The younger man stepped from behind his father and awkwardly offered his hand. "It is an honor to meet you— Trip. I grieve with thee."

"Thank you. You don't have to call me Trip if it's too awkward. I answer to just about anything."

"It would be illogical to ignore your preference."

For a moment, just a moment, Trip wanted to burst into raucous laughter. Vulcans consider nicknames illogical. Ever since tenth grade and Mr. Velik, it had been a fact in his life. Now, in only one day, he had met three of them willing to use his preferred moniker without so much as a single raised eyebrow. Two of them were among the most prominent members of Vulcan society. One of them a legend of two worlds. A small smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. "Illogical, huh? That's interesting. I was always told nicknames were illogical." He felt, more then saw, T'Pol stiffen beside him. He knew that his attempt at levity had irked her, and he cursed his timing. Meeting the in-laws was stressful enough at the best of times. In these circumstances it was overwhelming, and exhaustion was beginning to take its toll. He gently put his hand on the small of her back, making sure the gesture was as unobtrusive as possible. It always amazed him when he felt the tension leave her body at his touch. His hand began to slowly stroke her lower back, and he felt her relax more. _'Maybe she won't mind a little lightness now.'_ "You hear that, Darling? Maybe calling me _'Trip'_ isn't so illogical."

T'Pol, leaned further into his hand. "Fascinating," she whispered.

Solkar now stood in front of his infamous niece. "Live long and prosper, my niece."

"Peace and long life, **Del'haiu**. Welcome to our home, we are honored."

"The honor is mine, child."

Then Skon came forward to her. "Peace and long life, cousin."

"Live long and prosper, Skon. Please, let us go sit down."

Soval took his accustomed seat and the others quickly followed. Before T'Pol could sit he asked, "T'Pol, if you do not mind some tea would be most appreciated."

"Of course, grandfather, please rest. Should I make enough for us all?"

"Bring enough for two more people."

Trip started to stand, "I'll help you Darling."

"No Trip. I can manage, you keep your arm still and rest."

"My arm's fine."

"You do want Phlox to remove the sling tomorrow, do you not?"

When T'Pol left the room, Trip turned to Soval, "Did you teach her to fight dirty, or was she just born that way?"

"T'Pol has always been adept at making her point, Commander. However, I believe her time in the diplomatic sphere has refined her skills."

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny. I think it's time for us to discuss this 'Commander' business. Today I've had no less than three very nice, very logical Vulcans call me Trip. Now, I can understand if you find using it too weird. However, I've been through enough of the **Kir'Shara**, to know that we're family now. Call me Charles, or even just Tucker, if you like that better. But unless I'm on duty or something, please in the name of all that is holy, drop my rank!"

For a millisecond the corners of the older man's mouth seemed to lift slightly. "All you had to do was make the request, Trip."

"Yeah well, I thought it would have been obvious. I mean you didn't go around calling T'Pol Sub-Commander all the time. Come to think of it I don't remember you calling her Commander either."

"Perhaps it would have been obvious to a human."

"Perhaps. Or maybe you just enjoy screwing with me."

Soval kept his face perfectly blank, "I do not know what you mean."

Trip rolled his eyes, "Sure you don't."

Skon had known English all his life. His father had indoctrinated him with the stories of his time on Earth, from as far back as he could remember. All of this over his mother's strenuous caution. Despite translating Surak's most basic teachings into the major languages of Earth he had never met a human. His life had been sheltered, first at Gol, then in academia. His mother's renegade status made it dangerous for him to travel around Vulcan, let alone off planet. V'Las and his followers had ruthlessly and methodically scrutinized every aspect of his life, hoping for any reason to make him disappear. For all the years he had been waiting to meet humans, he found himself hampered because of the terrible circumstances.

The uncertainty of the situation made him hesitant to speak freely and sitting like a statue seemed an illogical course of action. "Excuse me, Trip. You mentioned that you have been studying the **Kir'Shara.**"

"Yep. I hit it hard about six months ago. I'd say I'm about a third of the way through. I've been concentrating on the sections that deal with relationships," he replied, casting a longing gaze to the kitchen.

"Understandable. It is an amazing accomplishment, considering the work to translate the writings into modern Vulcan is estimated to take a further three years. You must have been studying traditional Vulcan for many years."

Trip found himself shifting in his seat. If he explained how he had been able to learn Vulcan fluently he'd be imparting some very intimate information. He didn't want to compromise their privacy. He'd always guarded that jealously even before their rocky romance began. On the other hand, this was her family. They deserved to know that even though he was human, and their relationship defied every tradition, he could and would be everything she needed to the best of his abilities. Taking a deep breath, he bit the proverbial bullet. "Not really, I started studying math and science terms in the tenth grade, thanks to the encouragement of my biology teacher, Mr. Velik. When I decided to pursue a career in Starfleet, I hunted down everything I could find about ships, engines, and warp theory. My sister Lizzy—" his voice hitched ever so slightly, "she would help me drill the words into my skull. My little helper— Anyway, I would've died before trying to speak the words out loud to anyone but her. I'm terrible with languages. I'm the only one of my siblings who can't speak a single word of old Irish properly, much to my poor mama's dismay. There's a disconnect between my brain and my mouth. I can easily learn to read, write, and understand but speaking is a pain."

Skon's eyebrow had been slowly migrating higher and higher during Trip's explanation, "Yet you speak Vulcan fluently."

"Well, I can't explain it. I started seriously trying to learn in our last few weeks in the Expanse, after an event so classified, I can probably get in trouble just for thinking about it. Hoshi Sato, our Communications Officer and linguist extraordinaire, decided to help me out. She spent years teaching languages in a University in Brazil, and she's the best there is. She declared me a 'challenging student'. She was being gracious; I was her worst nightmare. My progress was slower than molasses in January."

"What changed?"

"T'Pol started teaching me in her white space."

"Her 'white space'? I am unfamiliar with that term."

"Somehow I'm linked up to the space in her mind when she meditates. It's pretty amazing with my puny human brain. Anyway, by teaching me like that it bypassed whatever block my mind has with speaking a different language."

"That is a sign of an exceptionally strong **tel**. Even among two Vulcans such a connection is rare," Solkar interjected.

Trip's mouth quirked into a half smile, "Go figure, right? Who'd have thought a human brain could handle it?"

The older man's expression became exceptionally grave. "I have experienced the power of the human mind firsthand, Trip. I learned not to consider anything to be impossible."

Skon decided that a return to the original topic was advisable. His father's memories were sometimes a source of pain for him. With the heightened stress due to Elizabeth's death, the current path of this discussion was best left for a more appropriate time. "Regardless of the methods you used to learn, it is truly an admirable accomplishment."

"I don't know if it's admirable or not, but it sure is cool. You said it would take three years to translate the **Kir'Shara** into modern Vulcan; why bother to translate it at all?"

"Language is a living thing in many ways. It is constantly evolving and changing as societies grow and change. As meanings of words and the ways we use them shift over time, understanding the words of the past can become difficult. For example, if I tried to have a conversation with you in the English used in the twelfth century, it would be unlikely that you would understand anything I was saying. For all Vulcans to follow the path outlined by Surak's teachings in the **Kir'Shara** , they must be presented in a way that is accessible for everyone. Traditional Golic Vulcan is still used in ceremonies. These teachings are not meant for ceremonies. They are meant for our daily lives."

"So why would it take so long?"

"Unfortunately, not even logic can overcome all disputes. Still, I do not anticipate as many delays as there were when I led the translation team that translated Surak's basic teachings into the major Earth languages."

Trip's eyes widened. "That was you?" he gasped, "I thought you would be older."

"Thank you for the compliment."

"Captain Archer, is a big fan and so am I. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been translating into so many different languages. All for a bunch of illogical humans too... the old guard of the VHC couldn't have liked the idea much."

"They were less than supportive. In fact, it was quite dangerous at times."

"From what little I've seen, I believe it."

Before Skon could reply the chime sounded throughout the house. Trip stood up. "Must be our two extras. Soval, do you want to tell me who's at the door this time, or are you determined that I keel over from shock before the day is done?"

Soval merely raised his eyebrow.

Trip shook his head in resignation, "Shock it is."

Skon decided his uncle's amusement had lasted long enough. The day was too taxing on everyone for this sort of teasing. "It is only mother, and my betrothed."

**"Shaya tonat cousin."**

T'Pol appeared by his side when he got to the door, "Are you up to this, Darling?"

"I am fatigued. But this is a duty that must be done."

"If it gets too much, please tell me."

"I will."

"Here we go..." Trip opened the door revealing the two women. Both dressed in ceremonial robes the likes of which he had never seen. Trip was used to Vulcans appearing austere, intimidating and remote, but these lavish sumptuous clothes showed a whole other side of Vulcan life that he knew nothing about. For the first time since returning to _Enterprise _and T'Pol, he wondered if he could ever truly understand and become a part of her culture. He also felt that he better understood the challenges she faced adapting to life with humans. He made a mental note to tell her later, right now he had to mind his manners. He made the** ta'al** and hoped he wouldn't sound as overwhelmed as he felt, **"Dif-tor heh smusma, T'Pau. Welcome to our home."**

If the new leader of Vulcan was surprised to hear a human claim to share T'Pol's home, and appeared to be fluent in traditional Golic Vulcan, nobody would have noticed. **"Sochya eh dif, Commander Tucker, T'Pol, tushah nash-veh k'odular.**" Then she decided it might be prudent to switch to English, just in case the young man had only mastered traditional greetings. "May I present T'Lyri, an acolyte at the temple at Gol. It was she who..." T'Pau paused to search for the right term, realizing for the first time just why Vulcan thoughts sounded so callous when put into English. She had no desire to inadvertently insult the Commander in his time of grief, but she had no experience trying to offer support to a human in mourning. "It was she who cared for Elizabeth's preparations for the ceremony."

T'Lyri stepped forward and that "other worldly" quality Trip had first noticed hit full force. She didn't seem like flesh and blood. She appeared like a mirage made up of sun and air. He wasn't attracted to her this was an empirical fact, it almost hurt to look at her. Her voice was soft, rich, and melodic, "Live long and prosper Sir Tucker, Lady T'Pol. I grieve with thee."

T'Pol could see Trip struggling to greet the last person to see their daughter. Now, Elizabeth was safe within the family crypt and this woman was the one to put her there. She gathered her strength and took over. "It is our honor. Please come in. We have tea ready."

When they entered the house T'Pau and T'Lyri moved into the living room, while Trip helped T'Pol carry in the tea. From the kitchen, they saw Solkar and T'Pau exchanging an **ozh'esta**. Trip remembered Skon telling him his mother was at the door and it suddenly clicked. _'As if having the first Vulcan to set foot on Earth as an in-law wasn't enough pressure,_' he thought.

"Did you expect that?" he whispered.

"No. But it is clear many things about my family I was never informed of."

"Maybe while we're here we could do some investigating and get some answers to all of the family secrets."

"Perhaps. Right now, we should focus on Elizabeth."

T'Pol picked up the tray and turned to bring it in to the others when Trip put his hands on her shoulders to stop her. He leaned in close and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Love you."

"And I you."

They went into the living room and T'Pol began serving the tea. For a few minutes the typical polite chit chat moved along smoothly. Trip found himself struggling to keep his mind in the moment. His baby girl now resided in the sacred catacombs of the temple of Mt. Seleya. The same place where Surak's body was buried. His mind knew that she wasn't suffering anymore, and that even the most fanatical of V'Las' followers would never dare attack Seleya. But the threats from the riots on Earth still pounded in his skull. He had to have reassurance that his daughter's body was safe, and T'Lyri was the only person who could give it to him. "T'Lyri, could I ask you... I mean ..." he cleared his throat and tried again. "Is my little girl safe?"

"I assure you, Commander. The only persons allowed access to Elizabeth were your Dr. Phlox and myself. I took the utmost care and reverence when preparing her. I give you my word, nothing and nobody can ever harm her again." T'Lyri's soft voice was as soothing as a cool glass of water on a hot day.

T'Lyri's sincerity touched him deeply and before he knew it, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He hurried and wiped his eyes, trying to compose himself. "I'm sorry. It's just— I— thank you so much."

"Elizabeth is the blood of my betrothed, a child of my clan, and I am hers as she is mine. It is my privilege to honor her." T'Lyri responded.

T'Pol noticed Trip's hand starting to tremble and reached over to take it in hers. Her own voice was hoarse, but she forced the words to come. "We are both in your debt, T'Lyri."

"No, this is my family and my duty."

T'Pau sat observing the young human very closely. She marveled at how very different he was from Captain Archer. Where the Captain wore his emotions like an armor, in open defense from any perceived threat always, Commander Tucker was different. She marveled at his control, so different from any other human she had encountered. His emotions, although controlled, were still extremely potent. That gave cause for concern, especially during the ceremony. However, she was keenly aware that the utmost tact would have to be used in order to broach the subject. "Perhaps we should discuss the arrangements for tomorrow's ceremony."

Trip looked up at T'Pau with some surprise and his eyes narrowed slightly. "What for? Salden sent us a message saying everything was set."

T'Pau sensed his suspicion and knew that she had to be extremely careful. "There are some details that need to be discussed and finalized."

T'Pol sat up a bit straighter, alert for any attempt to oppose Trip's rights as a father and as her bondmate. "Such as?" she asked, her tone hardening slightly.

While Commander Tucker required her delicacy, T'Pau knew her niece did not. "Does Commander Tucker intend to speak?"

Trip knew that if he had any chance of being accepted into this family on his own merit, he had to stand up for himself. He would always rely on T'Pol for support, but they had to fight together, not for each other. He squeezed her hand, then let go and sat forward. "Why wouldn't I speak, T'Pau?"

The older woman raised an eyebrow. _'He did not lash out in anger, quite impressive.'_ "Commander, do you know how many humans have witnessed our death rituals?"

"No."

"One. Admiral Forrest, attended the ceremony for T'Pol's father."

Trip didn't need to be looking at T'Pol to know her jaw had tightened, her eyes had narrowed, and her breathing became shallower. He could feel the echo of the pain of her memories. Still, he focused on T'Pau. "And what does that have to do with me speaking at my daughter's memorial?"

"Commander, our rituals are steeped in thousands of years of traditions that are as sacred as any faith on Earth."

A frown settled over Trip's face; he didn't like where this was going at all. "Let me guess, you don't believe I respect them?"

"You are an exceptional man Commander, but the fact remains that you are human. I do not see how it is possible that you have the control necessary to participate. How is it possible?"

"Elizabeth is as much human as she is Vulcan. Why can't that be honored and still respect her Vulcan heritage."

T'Pau's eyebrow furrowed inward in confusion. "I was informed that there was a human memorial for Elizabeth, on Earth. Was this not acceptable?"

Trip decided the diplomatic dance had to end. His instincts told him that T'Pau wasn't prejudiced against him as a person, or a human. But it was time to lay everything on the line, she had to know exactly where he stood. "Let's get this over with. Are you saying I can't speak at my daughter's funeral?"

"I cannot forbid you from taking part in the ceremony."

_'So much for being blunt and to the point,' _"But you think I shouldn't."

T'Pau looked deep into the young man's eyes. In many ways he reminded her of her husband and her son. Both so open and eager to welcome new diversity and combinations into Vulcan. But she had to focus on the good of Vulcan and uncertain that Vulcan was ready to let others into their most sacred rites. She also had to consider that the young man may harm himself by trying to control his emotions too tightly.

"I think that it will be difficult in ways you cannot comprehend. There may also be consequences within the clan, that could affect all of Vulcan."

Trip's jaw dropped, "Excuse me?"

"Commander, Vulcan is recovering from untold years of corruption that was designed to destroy us from the heart of our society. I cannot begin to tell you how much we have lost, how much we must re-learn, and how much danger we are still in. We must return to our true path. If we do not, we will be destroyed."

Trip had seen first-hand the strain of having a world's fate on someone's shoulders. Jon had been forever changed by the Xindi mission. T'Pau had that same burden on her shoulders. He found that he couldn't resent her caution. He softened his posture and his voice. "The most important tenets to guide us down that path are: Infinite Diversity Infinite Combinations, and May we together, become greater than the sum of us. Elizabeth is the embodiment of these tenets. Wouldn't Elizabeth strengthen the clan, and Vulcan?

T'Pau had not met many humans, less than ten. She had found much merit in some, but there hadn't been many instances where a human had truly impressed her. Commander Tucker had succeeded. "There is truth in what you say, but consider this... A flower cannot grow without a seed. We need to be strong enough, our peoples are so different. You cannot begin to conceive of the dangers we face."

"Look, I'm not saying I don't appreciate the position you're in. Earth isn't in a much better place right now, only the crazies are gaining power, not losing it. My government classified everything about Elizabeth. People know she was real, but nothing else. I can't even tell my own family that she was mine! If I did, not only would I be thrown into prison, but the whack jobs would go after my family. I wasn't even allowed to speak at the service on Earth." The tears he had been fighting for hours now finally escaped the prison of his eyes. "I need that chance now."

Later, when she was in her meditation, T'Pau would reflect on how difficult it was to repress emotion when touched by someone's pain and love. Still, her voice was softer than usual when she answered, "As I said, I cannot stop you. It is your right as Elizabeth's **Yatau**—"

Suddenly T'Pol sprung to her feet and stood right in front of the older woman, her eyes flashing with rage. "**Sa-mekh**!" she hissed, "He is my child's **sa-mekh**! She knew him. She knew him through me, she knew he loved her even though he could not touch her. She knew! Do not refer to him as if he was a breeding animal! He is her **sa-mekh**..." A blinding, searing, pain ripped through her head, so intense that she was unaware when she collapsed to the floor. She was unaware of Trip's arms coming around her. The only thing that could not be obliterated by the pain was the knowledge that Elizabeth had known who her father heedless of his injured arm as he ripped off the sling and wrapped both arms around her. His instincts were to block T'Pol from prying eyes. But he didn't know what was happening to her. His heart was crushed as he listened to her struggle to speak through the pain, murmuring over and over, "She knew... **sa-mekh**... she knew... **sa-mekh**... she knew... **sa-mekh**."

He touched her face gently and spoke in a low soothing tone. "Darling, it's okay. You've got to tell me what's going on so I can help. Please tell me what's happening."

Solkar was at his side, leaning in to see the young woman. "Trip, this is important. How much physical contact did she have with Elizabeth?"

Trip barely heard the question; his answer came automatically. "She didn't let go of her from the moment we found her, to the last second before Phlox had to put her into isolation."

Solkar could not suppress a sigh of frustration and turned to his brother, "Soval, why did she not see a priest two weeks ago?" he demanded.

"I was not told her bond with Elizabeth was completed."

"Guys! Could somebody help her please?"

Solkar returned to the young man's side. "You will have to trust us, Trip."

"I do!"

The older man gently pinched the base of her neck, and T'Pol went limp. "Has this happened to her before?"

Trip held her closer and sighed, "No, we've been practically locked in her quarters meditating, doing neuro-pressure, and sleeping. We've been doing everything possible to keep this from happening. I don't understand." he turned and looked into the older man's eyes. "Tell me the truth. Is it possible that being bonded to me caused this?"

Solkar didn't know the answer to that question. The logical course of action would be to divert the young man's attention to more pressing concerns. "First, we should move her to a more comfortable location."

Soval held out his arms, and Trip put T'Pol in them while he stood up. Then, he bent down and lifted her into his arms bridal style. The muscles in his shoulder screamed in protest but he ignored it. "We're gonna get you better, Darling," he whispered as he gently walked to their room and tenderly laid her on the bed.

He returned to a room full of grim-faced Vulcans, the likes of which he hadn't seen since he helped Jon swipe that warp two craft. "So now what? How do we get her better?"

Solkar immediately spoke. "T'Lyri must go and bring us some medicinal teas that we use in healing."

"I will return shortly," she answered.

Skon followed her, "I will go with you."

After the door closed behind the pair, Trip again began pressing for answers. "I need to know what's happening to her, and is it because of me?"

Solkar still couldn't answer his question, so he told him what he did know. "A broken bond with a child can strip control away from the mother. Especially, if the loss was unexpected..."

"This whole nightmare was 'unexpected'!" Trip shouted. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm down. " I'm sorry. It gets confusing about who is feeling what sometimes." Then he turned to T'Pau. "You're right about my limitations, I'm very aware of them. I'll never be able to master my emotions the way a Vulcan can, and it would be stupid of me to pretend otherwise. Honestly, I don't want to even try. I couldn't bear it if being bonded to me was hurting her. I can't let that happen."

T'Pol's voice came floating through the room, "Charles... **k'diwa**."

Trip hurried to the bedroom, sat down on the bed and brushed back the hair from her face. "Hey there, Darling, you gave me quite a scare. Solkar had to neck pinch you," he teased with a tiny smirk.

T'Pol turned her face into the pillow, trying to cover her shame.

"Hey now, none of that!" Trip said sternly. "Never turn away from me, T'Pol, not from me." She turned to look at him again and squeezed his hand in apology. Raising her hand to his mouth, he brushed his lips against her soft skin. "There now, that's better. I need you to answer a question, and it must be the absolute truth. Okay, Darling? Promise me."

T'Pol could sense he was already terrified of what her answer might be, so she tried to sooth him. "**K'diwa**—"

He knew immediately that she would try to avoid answering anything he asked, so he pushed. "No! You promise me! No half answers, I need the truth."

"I promise," she whispered.

"Is this because of me? Are my emotions overwhelming you?"

Her eyes widened and she felt a sensation, humans described as the heart 'skipping a beat'. He could not have such thoughts and questions! If he thought he was hurting her, he might ask to sever their bond, she could lose him. "**K'diwa**—" Despite her best efforts to suppress the blinding panic at the thought, she could hear the tremor in her voice.

"I need the truth T'Pol," he whispered.

Panic receded as annoyance flared up. She couldn't deny she had omitted certain truths to him in the past. But she had never blatantly lied to him. Out of nowhere a line from one of Ensign Mayweather's favorite films came into her mind, something about the truth and 'a certain point of view'. In any case, she had promised him to be completely honest and she did not like him doubting her. "I promised!" she snapped. Taking a deep breath, she tried harder to reign in the multitude of emotions relentlessly attacking her fragile control. "The truth is that, between Tolaris, Silik, Rajin, and Trellium during the past four years, my brain has suffered repeated injury. The truth is that Ensign Masaro betrayed our trust, and now our daughter is dead. My control is severely compromised, but not by you!" She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. "You give me strength."

Trip breathed a sigh of relief and held her close. "Okay. We're going to get you better. Close your eyes and work on your breathing, I'll be back in a minute."

T'Pol laid back down and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she began the exercises that would prepare her for meditation. She doubted she could reach a meditative state in her condition, but it would help her reach a state of calm. As the oxygen filled her lungs, she visualized her rage and grief permeating the carbon dioxide waiting to be exhaled. When she let the breath out, the anger left as well. With each breath she became more centered, and the terrible pain finally began to recede.

She thought about T'Pau's words and her reaction. Her loss of control was disturbing, she had come quite close to physically harming her aunt. But she recognized that even if she had been in control, her words would have been the same. Charles was Elizabeth's **sa-mekh**, the way she was conceived made no difference. She had known that both of her parents loved her completely and unconditionally.

Trip went back into the living room and found Solkar. "What do you need to do to help her?"

"Usually, a woman who has lost a child suddenly will take seclusion with her family in one of the temples or monasteries for some time."

A frown darkened the blue eyes of a man tired with burdens that were far too heavy for anyone to bear. "I know she could take emergency leave, but there's no way they'd let me stay with her. I wasn't kidding when I said the 'crazies' were taking over on Earth. My Captain had a long meeting with 'the powers that be', and while he hasn't given me the bad news yet, it's coming. That said, I'll resign before I leave her. If she needs to be secluded in a monastery then I'll be with her."

Solkar put his hand on the younger man's uninjured shoulder, in a gesture of support. "Trip, when we first went to Earth, there were many 'crazies' as you say. They did not want us there, and they feared us. But sensible people and perseverance worked hard to form our alliance. I know our alliance has been imperfect, especially to Earth. But in the beginning, even with the 'crazies,' our peoples came together. We will again. It may take time, but we will again."

Trip laughed bitterly, "Well, I've always envied the Vulcan life span." He rubbed his tired eyes and sighed. "Is seclusion the only way to help T'Pol?"

"There are other ways to heal a broken bond, all of them involve deep mind-melds."

The idea of another man going into T'Pol's mind made his stomach clench painfully in tight knots. He knew he trusted Solkar, but he also knew how T'Pol felt about mind-melds. No matter what the teachings of the **Kir'Shara**, mind-melds remained a terrible source of conflict for her. She wasn't even ready to consider melding with him.

"Look, it's her choice. I won't push her to do it."

"Trip, when T'Pau melded with T'Pol, to heal her** pa'nar**, I felt our bond shift. I felt the echo of the pain she carries. Perhaps a healing meld could help her in other ways."

"If it could, that would be wonderful. But I'll never push her."

"And neither will I."

"We should talk to her now. She needs to be able to function for tomorrow."

The two men walked into the bedroom and Trip sat down on the bed. He could tell T'Pol wasn't meditating, but she looked so calm and peaceful he was loath to disturb her. Still, he needed her to get help, he just wasn't strong enough to keep supporting her burdens on his own. He felt like he was rapidly reaching his own breaking point, and he couldn't let her be consumed by it.

"Hey, Darling, are you feeling a little better?"

T'Pol's eyes opened and the sight of blue pain filled eyes shook her to the core. Vulcans had long believed that a pairing between a Vulcan and a human could not work because human emotions would destroy a Vulcan's control. She now knew that a human bonded to a Vulcan could suffer more.

She gently stroked his hair, heedless of her uncle's presence. "I am calmer. Thank you for supporting me."

"Always. But we're not alone right now and there's something we have to talk about."

T'Pol quirked her eyebrow, sat up, and turned to her uncle. "**Del'haiu**, please forgive my earlier display."

The older man waved off the apology, "The cause is more than sufficient, my child. But now it is time to begin healing."

Her voice became ragged, "I have adhered to the teachings and disciplines of the **Kir'Shara**, and yet I am weak. My past follies have already made my control limited. If I cannot regain it, it is likely I will destroy myself and my mate."

"Don't say that!" Trip gasped.

"Azati Prime," she whispered.

"God, you are so pigheadedly stubborn. That wasn't your fault and this situation is entirely different!"

"Is 'pigheadedly' an actual word?"

If there was one thing that would never cease to amaze him, it was the fact that she could rile him up one minute and calm him the next with one endearing question. "Later you can ask Skon. Right now, you've got to get better. We don't have a lot of time, and tomorrow-"

"I know," she snapped, cutting him off.

"Yes, you do. So now we talk about options."

"Options?"

"Take it away Solkar..."

"T'Pol, a broken bond is very much like a severed limb. The first thing that must be done when a limb is severed is to cauterize the wound. The same principle applies to a broken bond."

"What must be done?"

"As Trip said there are options. The first option is for you to spend time in seclusion at Seleya. You will have a network of highly trained priestesses that deal with these types of broken bonds. Also, healers may prescribe medications to correct any chemical imbalances you are suffering from."

"How long would this process take?"

"Unknown. It could take some weeks it could take much longer."

T'Pol grabbed Trip's hand as if to cling to him, "That is unacceptable! Starfleet would not approve of Charles staying on Vulcan so long. They are quite adamant that the general population of Earth remain unaware of Elizabeth's parentage. The crew of _Enterprise _is well known, and the press looks for newsworthy stories on them. They would surely write many such stories if he were to stay here with me for an extended amount of time. I will not be separated from my mate."

Trip knew that she was headed for another collapse and knew he had to try and take her mind off her anger and fear. He said the first thing that popped into his mind. "Again, with the 'mate' thing."

T'Pol turned and glared at him, "Well, what do you wish me to call you?"

"Darling..."

This time T'Pol could not handle levity, sometimes the man she loved said the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. " No, Charles! How do you wish me to refer to you now? You insist that you are not yet my husband, even with our bond..."

From the day T'Pol told him she thought they had bonded, Trip told himself that there were some definite advantages to be had. However, there were also disadvantages at times. One of the major ones was emotional bleeding. Occasionally, when they were both riled up, one fed off the other. It magnified the stress and made things very confusing. T'Pol hated being confused, but so did he. When Trip was confused, he sometimes snapped... "Hey, human here! No ceremony, no witnesses, no witnesses, no record, no record, no marriage! I need us to be completely legal. I might not be able to marry you on Earth, but I still need it to be legal, even there."

T'Pol took a deep breath and moved a little closer to Trip. Her voice was softer and gentler. "Right now, Earth will not accept us."

Trip felt horrible for snapping at her. Without even thinking about it, he stroked the hand he was still holding. "But we'll know, that's all I care about."

"You never answered my question."

Trip shrugged, "I'm your bondmate."

Frustration flared again and T'Pol was severely tempted to roll her eyes. "That is what I said!"

"Mate can mean something else," he replied with a small evil little smirk.

For a moment, just a small moment T'Pol entertained the idea of bludgeoning the man with a pillow. But she knew that would only feed his behavior, so decided to ignore it. "I refuse to leave my bondmate. Uncle, what are my other options for recovery?"

Solkar knew better than most of humanity's strengths and flaws. While he had never objected to the idea of Vulcans and humans mating, he knew such bonds would cause immense trials and sacrifices for the pair. The interaction between T'Pol and Trip confirmed this. One minute there was love, joy, and peace. The next: anger, confusion, and frustration. Then they would tease each other back to contentment. He marveled at their strength, and willingness to stay in such a storm. Especially given the pain they were in. "A series of mind-melds can heal the damage and restore your control. The process is extremely invasive; however, it is a much more expedient method of healing. I could assist you here and now."

T'Pol went stark white. This was man was her blood, he would never harm her, but even the mere thought of going through it again made her tremble. This time she didn't even attempt to control the reaction. Her voice quivered as she whispered, "There could be complications with such a course of action."

"T'Pau healed your **pa'nar**, there is no risk."

"There are other concerns."

"Please explain."

The first time she had to confess to the numerous things she had done that inevitably led to self-harm, she had only had to worry about losing Trip's affection and support. In this situation she couldn't even begin to anticipate the consequences. Yet she knew that if she didn't tell Solkar everything, she couldn't be helped. Her lack of control didn't just harm herself, she caused harm to the person she had given her life too. She had no choice but to tell everything.

She began with the time she underwent the **Fullara** ritual at **P'Jem** and went through everything that had happened to her on _Enterprise_. From the hallucinogenic pollen, Tolaris, an unnatural **plak tau**, Raijin, straight up to Azati Prime. She told her uncle everything, sparing no detail.

When T'Pol finished her account of Azati Prime, Solkar spoke. "You blame yourself that eighteen of your crewmates died in the battle."

T'Pol kept her eyes on her hand entwined with Trip's. "My control was compromised. Had it not been, perhaps my actions could have saved lives. After the battle, I nearly died attempting to obtain more Trellium. Fortunately, I finally realized I needed help. I sought out Dr. Phlox for treatment."

"And what was his diagnosis?"

"It is his opinion that my control is permanently compromised due to the damage to my neuropathways."

For the first time since he entered the room Solkar approached his niece. To her utter astonishment, he took her free hand in his own. She sensed no disappointment, disgust, or judgment from him. Only compassion, empathy, affection and admiration. She looked up into his eyes, and for the first time she noticed that her father had inherited all his uncle's most prominent features. Her breath caught in her chest as memories of her father's comfort washed over her.

Solkar sensed her memories and his eyes sparkled with contentment, "Well, my Child, this situation is certainly more complex than a broken bond. However, my recommendation still stands. A healing-meld can be used to treat many injuries to the brain, which is most fortunate for you. As you have rightly stated, there are concerns. Trip mentioned you both practice neuro-pressure."

"Yes."

"Good. T'Lyri and Skon, have gone to get several teas we use in the temples for healing. They will help you a great deal. I wish both of you to go through your postures. I will need to consult with Dr. Phlox about your medical history, and T'Pau, since she shared a meld with you. Will you consent to this?"

"Yes."

"Very well. Both of you take time to discuss whether you should pursue this course of action. There has never been a bond between a Vulcan and a human before. I cannot say how a meld of this type will affect it, but you must be aware that it is almost certain to have some effect on Trip as well."

"I didn't feel anything when she melded with T'Pau or Hoshi."

"Those were different types of melds. This one will be much deeper. Given the strength of the bond you share, it would be unusual if you did not sense something. But I can assure you it will not be anything life threatening."

Trip could tell that T'Pol wasn't at all pleased with the idea he'd be affected by her melding with someone. But he didn't consider it a deterrent. "Okay, we need about an hour, that alright?"

"That is plenty of time."

After Solkar left the room Trip stood up and took off his t-shirt. Seeing T'Pol hadn't moved he prodded, "Hey, Darling, you heard the man, we gotta disrobe."

T'Pol got up and went into the adjoining bathroom. A few minutes later she came out in her lounging clothes. "Charles, is this what you want me to do?"

Trip privately believed one of the great paradoxes of their relationship was that a woman who was thirty-two years older than him could be so completely child-like. Standing in front of him in baggy silk, with wide eyes pleading for comfort, it was almost impossible for him to even remember her age. He held out his arms and wrapped her up in them. She nestled herself into his chest and he slowly brought them down to the floor. Then, he pulled back a little and saw she had let her braids loose.

Running his fingers through her hair, he spoke softly, "I want you to get better. As for the past damage, we can deal with it. We've been dealing with it for a long while now. Solkar seems to believe that we can make all of it better, if not cured. He's certain it will heal our broken bond with Elizabeth. That's got to get done one way or another. I don't see how I can stay with you here for months without resigning. We both know it's only a matter of time before Jon comes to us with bad news. Leaving you is not an option, and never will be while there's breath in my body. So yes, I think you should so this. I won't pressure you to meld with anyone, not even me."

T'Pol buried her face deep inside of Trip's chest. "I should have tried to meld with you months ago. I just..."

Trip leaned back slightly so he could turn her face up to his, "Hey I thought I told you no more hiding that beautiful face from me."

"I did not turn away from you, I turned toward you."

"No hiding," he whispered against her lips.

She brushed his lips with a whisper of a kiss. "It should be you."

"Darling, you've read the same teachings on mind-melds that I have. You know none of the melds you've been in even comes close to a meld between bondmates. If you're worried about our relationship, stop! No meld is ever going to hurt us."

As much as she tried, she couldn't wipe the horrible image of Tolaris, and everything he had wanted from her, out of her mind. "Tolaris wanted..." she whispered.

When T'Pol first told him, what had happened to her, Trip had been glad that he hadn't known at the time. He knew he would have gone off half-cocked and made a bad situation worse. Besides he hadn't had any killer instinct back then. Four years, a war behind him, and one very powerful Vulcan mating bond later... He knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if he ever saw Tolaris again, little would stop him from killing the man. He wasn't quite sure if it was the bond, revving up his most base and primal instincts, or just love. In the end it didn't matter. He knew that he wouldn't lose a second of sleep, even if he killed the man in cold blood. Part of him was disgusted by that, but that part was getting smaller by the minute.

One thing he knew for sure, this pain had festered inside of T'Pol long enough. He couldn't let it keep poisoning her. She had always helped push him move to beyond his pain, now it was his turn."T'Pol be logical! This is not the same thing. You've melded with both T'Pau and Hoshi and it was nothing like what he did to you. You can trust your family with this. I may never understand how badly that animal hurt you, and I wish I could've been there for you when he did. Darling, the only way you can put it in the past is to separate the man from the act. It wasn't a mind-meld that hurt you. It was a sick, twisted and evil man."

"I know you are right," she whispered. "But as much as I have tried to reconcile mind-melds as a part of being Vulcan, sometimes I still re-live it. At times, I wake up in the middle of the night still feeling all of the pain." She took a ragged breath. "He took something from me, and the most disturbing thing is, I am still uncertain of what it is."

Trip felt hot tears pour down his face and into her hair. He didn't even try to wipe them away, "He destroyed your trust in your own instincts."

Her eyebrows furrowed inward, "Vulcans do not rely on instinct, we rely on logic."

It wasn't lost on Trip that at one time he would have found that statement to be the epitome of smug condescension. Now, it was like the sweetest music to his ears. "That may be, T'Pol. I know Jon had to talk you into spending time with any of the people from the _Vahklas_. To hear him tell it, he practically gave you a dare."

"He asked that I trust his judgment, and to keep an open mind."

"But you had logical reasons for avoiding the **V'tosh Ka'tur**."

"Yes, while I admit that there were sincere people in the group, what they were doing was dangerous."

"I agree. Now, that I've studied Surak's teachings it's clear that what they wanted to accomplish and how they were going about it just isn't possible. We didn't have the **Kir'Shara** then. What made you go against your logic, and listen to Jon?"

"He made it clear that his trust in me was dependent on my trust in him. I had to earn his complete trust. The logical course of action was to trust his determination that they were not dangerous."

"Logic pulled you in two different directions, and a monster hurt you."

"I was fascinated by him, I allowed myself to be in that situation."

"T'Pol, **V'tosh Ka'tur**, or not, Tolaris was evil. He was going to hurt someone. If not you, he would've found someone else. Heck, he was sniffing around Hoshi and Liz Cutler too. What he did, he did because he's a monster. It had absolutely nothing to do with anything you did. Solkar is a good man. He wants to help you heal. If you ever had to meld with S'Tal, or Malcolm, or even Jon, it wouldn't be the same."

T'Pol tightened her arms around Trip, grateful that he was there to help her through this nightmare. "Your logic is flawless. Yet it seems impossible to accept."

Trip kissed her hair gently. "Self-preservation knows no logic Darling. That's when you hold on to trust. You trust that your family wants you to heal. You trust that I'd die before I'd let anything like that hurt you again. Will you trust that?"

"Always."

"That's my girl."

Suddenly the sound of a loud horn came blasting from outside, followed by lots of movement..."Let's get the neuro-pressure done, and get centered. Then we'll go and see what the ruckus is outside. If we're going to do this, we need peace and quiet. Oh, and you're eating dinner tonight."

T'Pol raised and indignant eyebrow, "Charles, I am not a child!"

Trip smirked, "No, but your appetite on a good day is finicky. It worries my mama. You're eating dinner, no more missed meals."

T'Pol knew she couldn't dissuade him, "Very well, I will eat to ease your mind, **k'diwa**."

"Good. Now lie down."


	8. Darkest Before Dawn

**AN: Greetings, my lovely supportive readers. I hope this chapter finds you and your families safe and well. With all of the sad craziness in the world I wish this story was a comedy, but alas, it is not. That said I genuinely want to thank each and every reader who clicks. I truly hope you are entertained and relexed for a few minutes reading this, and if you aren't feel free to tell me why. Peace and long life.**

* * *

**Vulcan Words:**

**pidkom: matriarch**

**t'sai- lady**

**Dif-tor heh smusma- live long and prosper**

**Zelh-Lan- Commander**

**Tushah nash-veh k'odular- I greive with thee** (adressing more than one person of honored status)

**Sochya eh dif- peace and long life**

**Sarlah etek dvin-tor- we come to serve**

**Vu dvin dor etwel- your service honors us**

**k'diwa- the other half of my heart and soul**

**katra- soul**

* * *

S'Tal, stood outside of the main gate that served as the entrance to the estate. He waited for his father to return from the raid to capture V'Las, in the southern provinces. He took a deep breath to center himself. This was the fifth attempt to capture V'Las since he had escaped custody. The man had quite literally brought Vulcan to the very brink of utter ruin. In addition, he was guilty of an untold number of crimes, including the "disappearances" of his powerful opponents. Not to mention his culpability for the dozens of lives lost when he attacked the Syrranite camps. Normally, S'Tal depended on logic alone to try and predict the possible outcomes of different missions. This time however, he found himself relying on hope. A young voice pulled him from his musings.

"Brother, is there word?"

S'Tal turned around, unsurprised to see both his youngest brothers together. They very rarely did anything separately. Despite the fact they had spoken out of turn earlier, it pleased him that they were so eager and diligently working to take their place within the clans. "Not as yet, S'Troa. But I believe it will be soon."

Salek was the most optimistic of the pair, "Father is the finest operative the Ministry of Security has produced in decades! He will prevail. Besides, S'Amik is with him."

S'Tal raised his eyebrow at the mention of his eldest younger brother. Salek idolized him. "Is that supposed to reassure me?"

Salek frowned, "S'Amik is competent," he insisted, eagerly defending his absent brother.

"He is," S'Tal soothed. "But he is also very inexperienced. He has never participated in this type of operation. V'Las is cunning, and he knows the southern province better than most. Do not forget he was the head of the Ministry of Security for many years. He is a formidable adversary."

S'Troa looked directly into his brother's eyes trying to gauge his mood. "You believe he will be captured, do you not?"

"He must be. If he is not, there is little chance Vulcan will find security."

If Salek idolized his older brother S'Amik, then S'Troa's hero was S'Tal. When S'Tal was troubled, S'Troa did his best to take his mind off his burdens. "Salek and I have been discussing Commander Tucker. Do you find him a worthy mate for T'Pol?"

S'Tal had expected the question eventually, but responsibility in training his brothers included teaching the boys boundaries. "It is not my place to make that determination, nor is it yours!"

Salek, who hardly ever left his brother's lectures unchallenged, decided to press the issue. "It is important that he is, S'Tal. We may have been raised as Syrranites, but since the **Kir'Shara **everything has changed. We ourselves are learning the true meaning of IDIC. Our people distrust and look down on humans. Now, our **pidkom**, one of Vulcan's most powerful matriarch, has taken a human mate. I do not believe it is an unreasonable question."

S'Tal raised his eyebrow. The boy had a talent for debate, he also happened to be right. "True enough," he acknowledged. "Trip has much to learn, but he is strong, and he has humility. Most importantly, he cherishes our **t'sai**. Yes, I do believe he is worthy."

"We concur," the boys said in unison.

S'Tal turned and looked down the road. "They are here."

A hovercraft pulled up in front of the gate, and S'Tal saw his father immediately. He walked up to Sovi and waited for the news. Sovi was tall and thin, with silver-white hair and strong features. His face was grim as he stepped out of the hovercraft and saw his sons.

"V'Las has been killed. We must deploy all the protector clans to our holdings throughout Vulcan. I must speak with T'Pol immediately."

S'Tal's face became hard at the news, but he had a duty to T'Pol first and foremost. "Father, she is under a severe strain because of Elizabeth's death. When Lady T'Les died, Lady T'Pol put you in charge of protecting all the clans' interests. She trusts your judgment. Now is not the time to burden her with this."

The older man stopped walking and turned to face his son. His face hardened and his voice determined. "You know what is at stake, for our clans and all of Vulcan. I cannot be derelict in my duties, even in the face of this tragedy."

"Then would it not be more prudent to make your report to Minister T'Pau and Minister Soval? They are actual members of the High Council."

"You would have me disregard tradition?"

"Father, it is my duty to protect her while she is here. She is not well, she needs rest. Right now, she is with Commander Tucker, performing neuro-pressure to center herself. Please let her rest."

"What is your opinion of Commander Tucker?"

"It is not my place to have an opinion, as you well know."

"I want your opinion of him as a man, not as a mate for T'Pol."

"From what little I have observed on the shuttle ride, and his interactions with the family here, I find him most admirable."

"Do you trust him?"

"Yes."

"I must make my report, but I will try to make sure T'Pol is not put under any more strain. You must remember she has always been strong, even in the face of tragedy."

"I know that better than most."

T'Rai had been out in the garden picking vegetables for the evening meal when she heard her father-in-law's transport approach. She quickly gathered her small harvest and went back to the house. She put her small basket in the sink in the kitchen and started to walk toward the bedroom.

Soval saw her. "T'Rai, what do you need to speak to T'Pol about?"

"My Lord, Sovi has returned and he will want to make his report to** t'sai**. I must inform them."

"Very well."

T'Pau came up beside him, "Do you think she is centered?"

"She has support and she is much stronger than anyone knows, even herself."

T'Rai knocked on the door softly, "Forgive me, **t'sai**, Commander. Sovi, has returned from the raid to capture V'Las. He will wish to make his report to you."

"Very well, we will be there shortly," T'Pol replied.

Trip sat up and began to pull back on his clothes. "Wouldn't Sovi be making his report to the High Council?"

Yes, he will make a report to the High Council. But the matriarch of the clan of Surak is informed of all major events within the government as a courtesy. When my father was killed, my mother refused to continue to be involved in those duties. She devoted her time to teaching in the science academy. Now that I am matriarch-"

"Those duties fall to you."

"Yes, usually I would have started receiving them after I am officially installed as matriarch. The fall of the High Command has changed many things."

"Darling, this is all too much. We need time alone to deal with everything that's happened. The last thing you need is to be doing is dealing with the government."

"I am only required to receive reports. I have no official duties, nor am I involved in any of the day-to-day running of the government. There have been times when the High Council requests the advice of matriarchs of powerful clans, but it is unlikely they would want mine. If they did, it would not be often."

"Do you want to do this?"

"If there is any way I can help my people with the transition to the new government, I wish to do so. Even merely receiving reports might send a message that we are returning to the true traditional ways."

"T'Pol, I'll support you if you're sure about this. But I'm not going to let you over-do it, we're both on thin ice. We need to take care of ourselves."

"Agreed."

"Okay, let's go. Then we eat. If Solkar says it's a good time to help you heal will you agree?"

"I will do the melds."

"Get dressed, nobody gets to see you in those pajamas but me."

Ten minutes later Sovi stood to greet his new matriarch. It had been a very long time since he had seen her, and he was struck by the changes he saw. No more was she the young awkward girl of his memories. In her place stood a young woman who had seen hardship and bore the weight of intense pain. The most drastic change was in her eyes. Gone was the restlessness that had haunted her ever since her father's death. For a moment the knowledge that her father could not see her finding peace caused him terrible pain.

Sovi bowed deeply, **"Dif-tor heh smusma, t'sai. Dif-tor heh smusma, Zelh-Lan Tucker. Tushah nash-veh k'odular."**

T'Pol raised her hand in the **ta'al**, **"Sochya eh dif, Sovi."**

Trip knew that Sovi was sizing him up. Unlike the rest of the family, he wasn't assuming that he couldn't understand or speak Vulcan. He made his views perfectly clear, _'human, if you want to be the mate of this woman you better know her native language.'_ Well, he wasn't going to be disappointed. He made the** ta'al, "Sochya eh dif, Sovi. I am honored to meet you."**

Sovi stretched out his right hand and shook Trip's hand, "The honor is mine Commander. Forgive my abruptness but I must make my report."

"Sure, let's all go sit down."

"I think it will be more efficient if everyone joined us."

Sovi's offer surprised T'Pol. As long as she could remember, only her father was ever present when her mother received reports. "Agreed."

When everyone was seated in the main room, Sovi stood in front of T'Pol and waited.

"Please begin."

"My Lady, Minister T'Pau, Ambassador, in accordance with orders received from the Ministry of Security, given by the High Council, I was put in charge of the operation to locate and capture former Minister V'Las. Two days ago, we intercepted intelligence that he had hidden in a cave system in the southern province. This cave system located in his late wife's ancestral lands. I assembled a strike team and we began a systematic search. The caves covered an area of ten square kilometers, and I divided my men into two teams of five. I sent one team to explore the caves to the east, while I took a team to the caves in the west."

"Who led the second team?" T'Pau asked.

"My son S'Amik."

"Please continue," Soval urged.

"We discovered V'Las in the center of the cave system. He had hidden in one of chambers of a very large cave. Unfortunately, what we could not anticipate was that V'Las would have placed explosives in the chamber. He attempted to persuade us to betray the High Council. When he failed, he detonated the explosives. Fortunately, the explosives were very low yield, and the surrounding chambers were undamaged. We received no casualties, no fatalities. Regrettably, V'Las was killed.

T'Pol could count on one hand the number of times she had seen her grandfather so overwhelmed by something that he had no words. The last time had been when they had received news of her father's death. She had very little information on V'Las' activities, but his death was obviously not the desired outcome of this mission. "This is most disturbing," Soval murmured.

"Indeed," T'Pau interjected. "We were counting on obtaining information from V'Las concerning his connections within Vulcan and beyond."

"Please explain." T'Pol pleaded.

T'Pau's voice held firm and grim, "We believe that V'Las was in contact with the Romulans, and that they have infiltrated Vulcan society on every level."

The implications of such a statement made T'Pol pale, "Do you have any concrete evidence?" she whispered.

"No. That is why we had hoped V'Las could be taken alive."

T'Pol's eyes narrowed. She remembered how T'Pau was more than willing to tie Captain Archer down and tear into his mind for Surak's katra if she believed it would be for the greater good. She could only imagine V'Las' fate. "If he had been taken alive, how would you have gone about obtaining the information?"

T'Pau knew that the girl tested her. She had deep compassion for the younger woman and her suffering. However, she would not show mercy where none was due. Vulcan had to be protected first and foremost. "We would have obtained the information by any means necessary. The threat to Vulcan is far too great to be risked for the sake of a traitor."

"Thank you, for your report, Sovi." T'Pol concluded.

"There is one more thing, my Lady. I recommend deploying all of our protector clans to our holdings throughout Vulcan."

"Do you have reason to doubt local planetary security?"

"Respectfully, just because V'Las is dead does not mean his influence is gone. He had, and still has, many supporters. Supporters that will likely become even more active now that he is dead. V'Las and his group have repeatedly targeted our clans, especially over the past four years. If he did have contact with the Romulans, it would be logical to use our own assets."

T'Pol had to give the older man credit. He had managed to remind her that she had been a favored target of the High Command, since the moment she sent her first report from Enterprise. Now, in a position of tremendous symbolic power, old enemies would wait for the chance to strike.

"Make whatever arrangements you see fit. You will stay for the evening meal. I wish for S'Troa and Selak to be presented to us tonight."

"As you say, my Lady."

"Dinner is prepared, my Lady," T'Rai murmured.

T'Rai had come into the room so quietly that Trip was startled when he heard her voice. "Good, let's eat. We sure could use it."

Soval raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth lifted into a slight smirk, "Human males are always hungry."

"Not all human men, Soval, just me."

T'Pol glared at her impatient human, "Indeed, sometimes it causes you to forget common courtesy. T'Rai, we will keep the food warm until Skon and T'Lyri return."

Trip felt his skin begin to flush with shame, "Sorry," he mumbled.

T'Rai mercifully took pity on him. "There is no need to wait, they have just arrived."

The meal was typical summer Vulcan cuisine. Lots of roasted vegetables, and a cooked grain that reminded Trip a lot of farro. He was surprised that, unlike plomeek soup, this meal had a lot of flavor. He tasted spices like a combination of cumin, coriander and fennel seed. The food was simple and light, something Trip greatly appreciated. The emotional stress and upheaval of the last three weeks was rough on even the strongest appetite.

The meal was also silent. Normally, Trip would have defied this custom, but he was just too tired to try and find a topic that had nothing to do with interplanetary conflicts, mind-melding, or Elizabeth's death. Usually in a group he hated silence, but at this moment he relished it. T'Pau broke it. "Commander, T'Pol, it is regrettable, but I must call another meeting of the High Council. I realize that it would be preferable to observe the usual customs as a family. But with V'Las' death, immediate action is required."

Trip brushed off the apology with a wave of his hand, "We understand T'Pau. Thank you for taking the time to see us."

"Sovi, you will come and make your report to the entire Council."

"Yes, Ambassador."

"Hey, wait a minute, we can still meet the boys, right?"

"Of course."

The meal finished quickly, then T'Pau and Soval took their leave. T'Pol stood up and began to clear the table, and T'Rai tried to stop her. "My Lady, let me take care of this. You were already responsible for our afternoon meal."

"T'Rai the meal was excellent and most appreciated. Rest now for the child's sake. I am only going to put the utensils in the sink. They can wait."

"I assure you I am perfectly capable, my Lady. My son is asleep right now."

Trip decided to step in. He could sense T'Pol's worry, and although he couldn't tell whether she was worried for the unborn child, or she was just uncomfortable around T'Rai, neither woman needed the stress of a conflict. "T'Rai, we never get to do domestic things on a starship. We eat in the mess hall, and never do dishes. We don't even do our own laundry. Most of the time we don't even get to make our beds. This is a nice change of pace for both of us."

"As you wish Commander."

"T'Pol, you take the glasses and silverware, I've got the rest."

The table was quickly cleared, and they made their way to the kitchen. "You okay, Darling?"

"I am fine."

She wasn't but arguing that point would only make it worse. "What's on your mind?"

"I am quite apprehensive about S'Troa and Salek being presented to me."

"They're nice kids, nothing to be nervous over."

"Charles this will be a very important moment for them. It is the first step of solidifying their place in the clans. Now, more opportunities will open for them in terms of their futures. This is a serious event and should be treated as such."

Trip held his hands up in front of him in surrender. "I'll behave, Darling. I promise I won't ruin the moment."

T'Pol took his hands in hers, "That is not my concern. I am just emphasizing the gravity of this introduction. It will not be casual for them."

"Got it, let's go do this."

Sovi, S'Troa, and Salek, were waiting in the main room. The boys had freshened up some after being windblown outside. They stood in front of their father, at perfect attention. Sovi's eyes glowed with pride and affection. Despite his stiff posture, it was obvious by his demeanor that he loved his sons very deeply.

"My Lady, Commander Tucker, it is my honor to present my sons S'Troa and Salek, for your service and the honor of our clans."

Both boys dropped down on one knee and spoke in unison. **"Sarlah etek dvin-tor, Lady T'Pol, for the honor of our clans. We offer our loyalty and our blood for as long as we live."**

T'Pol knelt on both knees and placed one hand on each boy's shoulder. **"Vu dvin dor etwel, we pledge the loyalty, protection and blood of our clans for as long as we live."**

T'Pol stood up, and the boys followed. T'Pol noticed Trip was fidgeting and warmth filled her. Even with the emotional stress, being in unfamiliar surroundings, and thrust into a family dynamic completely different from his own, he never lost his unique way of being him.

"They may speak with us now."

"Really! That's it?"

"What were you expecting?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, something longer and more complicated. Short and to the point isn't exactly a Vulcan strong suit. Congratulations boys, now you'll have to tell me all about yourselves."

Salek's eyebrow went up, and S'Troa's eyes went extremely wide.

T'Pol ignored the quip, "You will get used to him. Your sons do you great honor, Sovi."

"They do indeed. Forgive me, my Lady, I must go make my report to the High Council."

"Of course. We will see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Sovi, I'm glad I can talk to them now."

"You are welcome, Commander."

After Sovi left, the boys joined S'Tal and T'Rai. Solkar, Skon, and T'Lyri were out in the garden waiting for the presentation to be completed. When Solkar saw the boys with their brother, he went to find his young niece and her mate.

"T'Pol, Trip, have you decided whether the melds would be the prudent course of action?"

"We have; I am willing to have the melds," T'Pol whispered.

"This won't hurt her, will it?"

"We have teas that she will drink before the melds which will numb and relax her. There is no pain. We should begin at once. You will then have the rest of the night to regain your strength. T'Lyri and I have prepared the garden so you will have a comfortable space."

"Could you give us a moment?"

"Of course."

Trip wrapped his arms around T'Pol, holding her as tight as he could. His arm protested after the prolonged abuse of the day. He tried not to wince but T'Pol's sharp eyes missed nothing.

"How did I not notice that you removed your sling?"

"It's been a long hard day Darling, I forgot I took it off when you collapsed." Seeing that very displeased Vulcan Sub-Commander stern glare directed his way made Trip try to do some damage control. "Now don't look at me like that, it was coming off tomorrow."

"You are not supposed to be lifting anything for the next six weeks. Dr. Phlox was very specific in his instructions." Her eyes widened. "Did you carry me to the bed?"

"Yes, I wasn't about to let anyone else do it."

"You may have done permanent damage to your arm. Such irresponsible behavior is unacceptable!"

"T'Pol, listen to me! My arm will be fine. I haven't used the muscles in a while so yes, they're stiff and sore."

"Are you a medical doctor as well as a warp engineer now?"

"Phlox will look at it in the morning, if I have messed it up you can be as disapproving as your heart desires. Right now, you need to meld with Solkar, so that things like this don't affect you so badly."

T'Pol took a deep breath. She hadn't felt so out of control since she went to the cargo bay after Azati Prime. She was fighting with everything she had to avoid being consumed by terror, but she felt herself losing the fight. "I am sorry."

Trip took her face in his hands and pulled her into a slow, deep, fervent kiss. He wanted all the love he had to pour into her, and all her fear, pain and grief to pour into him. Of all the people he knew, she was the last person in the universe who should have gone through all the pain she had. It killed him that he hadn't been able to stop any of it, and now he couldn't fix it. He just wanted something to alleviate that pain, something that could do what he couldn't. He prayed the mind-melds would work. Finally, he pulled back, but couldn't resist dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"Are you ready, Darling?"

T'Pol rested her head on his uninjured shoulder, "I have no choice, **k'diwa**," she whispered.

"Look at me." She raised her head. "Yes, you do, T'Pol! I will never force you to do this and nobody else will either."

"My health can. Charles, I am drowning. We have tried so hard, and you have been the greatest support I could possibly ask for. But I am losing this battle, I have no other choice."

"Oh, my Darling, I wish I could fix this. I fix warp reactors no problem, but this... I feel so helpless and absolutely useless to you."

T'Pol held him closer and spoke directly into his ear, "You are probably the only reason I have kept my sanity. Do not ever think that you are useless to me. Nothing is further from the truth! All I need is for you to be there with me, as you always have been."

"The only way you're getting rid of me is if I'm dead," he whispered. Then he smirked. "And who knows, I might have a** katra**. You can put it in one of those arcs and then you'll never be free of me!"

Before she could stop it T'Pol had raised both eyebrows, "Sometimes, I fail to understand why people find you amusing."

Trip smiled, "Love you too!"

"We should go out to the garden."

Trip let her go but kept hold of her hand. "I'm not leaving you for a second, you won't be alone with this."

"Thank you."

They walked outside and saw the courtyard transformed. The fire pit was lit, casting warmth. Light poured from dozens of lit torches and at least two hundred candles. Vulcan herbs and incense burned, and a spicy smoke filled the air.

Trip's jaw dropped. "WOW!"

T'Lyri came up to them. "My Lady, Commander, we are ready."

Solkar sat regally on a rug by the fire and motioned for T'Pol to come and join him. "Drink this tea, Child. It will calm you and make you feel numb."

"How long will the effects last?"

"Not more than two hours. If we have not completed the melds by then, we will stop, and you can drink more of the tea. There are no harmful side effects, I assure you."

T'Pol sat down and drank, while Solkar turned his attention to Trip. "T'Lyri will monitor you while I meld with T'Pol. If you show any signs of distress, she will guide you in meditation. It is important for you to remain calm. The calmer you are, the better for her."

"I understand. Can I drink some of that tea?"

"Certainly, it never hurt Zefram. He said the effects were like tequila, without the intoxication."

"I think I need me some of that!"

T'Lyri handed Trip a cup of tea, "Since you have never had this before, sip it very slowly. The effects are immediate."

"Thank you."

Solkar sat in front of T'Pol, "Are you ready, child?"

"I am."

Solkar raised his hand and contacted her psi-points. Her eyes widened in sheer terror, but she did not pull away. Certain she would stay still he began to speak the ritual words. "My mind to your mind. Your thoughts to my thoughts. Our minds are merging... Our minds are one."


	9. A Healing Path

**AN: I'm sorry for the delay. Health problems, (not COVID) have limited my ability to type. The idea of T'Pol's mindscape comes from the Star Trek Online MMO, a fun game with some very interesting Vulcan lore.**

* * *

**Vulcan words: **

**katra- soul**

**ko-fu- daughter**

**ko-mekh- mother**

**sa-mekh- father**

**kali'farr- marriage ceremony**

**Del'haiu- honored elder**

t'hai'la- beloved soulmate

* * *

T'Pol found her consciousness in a mental landscape of a cave off the Forge where her father had taken her camping many years ago, with Solkar beside her. "This is unexpected," she remarked.

Solkar smiled gently. "The first step in treatment, is to create a mindscape where your conscious mind can retreat, allowing all of your natural psionic abilities to be redirected to healing your illness and injuries; while I guide your brain into a healing trance and use my psionic abilities to find and repair the damage to your control."

"I am uncertain of my part." T'Pol ruefully admitted.

Solkar's gentle voice infused her being with warmth and hope. "Your part, my Child, is to find your true center as I use my psionic abilities to stimulate the healing points of your brain. To do that, you must create a mindscape where the places, objects, and the people whose **katras** you've touched, can represent defenses and controls for your mental and emotional balance. Unconsciously, you have a rudimentary foundation. That is why we are here in this cave."

"I've never done any meditation or meld of this sort," T'Pol answered, trepidation coating her voice. "I do not believe I have ever touched another's **katra**, not even my mate's."

_"__You would be mistaken, dearest daughter,"_ a deep and mellow voice contradicted.

Shock permeated her **katra **as she stared up into the face of her father much younger than even at his death. His eyes deep and dark had no lines around them and the tiny creases that marred his forehead in her adolescent years did not exist. "I do not understand, how is this possible?"

"Calm yourself, **ko-fu**, I will explain," her father replied gently, kneeling beside her. "When you were an infant both your mother, and I melded with you many times. It helps deepen the familial bond and spurs the development of control and security of the emotional responses in children. I found much contentment and peace in you, my daughter, and our melds went far deeper than usual between a parent and child. I deliberately left an imprint of my **katra** on yours. I intended to teach you melding and how to build a mindscape for your protection after you completed your studies—"

"But you died before that!" T'Pol interjected. "How could **ko-mekh **keep this from me? Where is the logic of such secrecy?"

"Daughter, not even logic can subdue a mother's instinct to ensure her child's safety," he answered. "We both knew your psionic abilities to be exceptionally strong. In fact, you attempted to initiate melds with us in your second year. The High Command's propaganda dissuading melding and many other aspects of our heritage created much discord in that time. Your mother rightly concluded that to keep you safe you could not know your own abilities. I hypothesize that her attempts to protect you resulted in unforeseen consequences, still you must realize that logic is the foundation of our enlightenment not the whole of it. Try to think of a river cutting through different terrains at different strengths of currents, and we float on a crystal. The crystal is our logic and the river life. As one navigates the crystal along the river using the same methods of navigation along a fast current that would be used on a slow current would spell disaster. Logic will always change with each situation. What may be logical one day, may be extremely illogical the next. Precognition is not a gift of our species; therefore, mistakes and unintended consequences are an inevitable reality."

"I do not know what to do," T'Pol murmured.

"Perhaps sleep would be best, my child. Solkar can work more efficiently to help you heal without the strain of these questions and mistakes," her loving father soothed.

"Would you help me find peace here, **sa-mekh**?" she murmured.

"Of course, T'Pol," he answered. He sat before her, taking her hands in his, he guided her from the mindscape he'd created for his only most beloved child in infancy, to the soothing cool of a healing trance.

* * *

Trip finished his cup of _'not-tequila tea'_ and shuddered. "She needs me," he whispered. He resisted the urge to move toward T'Pol and wrap her in his arms. Solkar's face remained as smooth as ice on a frozen lake, only his closed eye lids showed any sign of life. The tension and pain that infused T'Pol's face for so much of their time together, decreased in micro-increments. "How long do you think the healing take?" he asked, softly.

T'Lyri gracefully poured another cup of the healing tea in the etched petrified wood cup, eons old. "It is impossible to say, Commander. However, your devotion and patience have helped her immeasurably. I will do everything in my power to assist you," she assured, handing him the cup. "I am not as proficient in your language as my betrothed, however, I believe that without your care T'Pol's condition would be irreparable. T'Pau healed her **pa'nar **some time ago, however, the strain of her time serving on a human ship, cannot be underestimated. That is not to say this achievement is unworthy, on the contrary, T'Pol is a living example of IDIC, but doing so without vital techniques for truly beneficial meditation and proper suppression must have exasperated her other illnesses and injuries greatly. Indeed, I hypothesize that you quite literally have saved her life."

Trip slowly sipped his second cup of tea grateful for its soothing power, and T'Lyri's kind words. She sat before him running her scanner over his chest, her eyes reflected the firelight like glittering aquamarine gems, her warmth and compassion freely given and her devotion to his health as powerfully obvious as Phlox's if without his gregariousness. "You honor me," Trip replied. "I've been scared that my emotions would make it harder for her, especially now. I'm the first to admit my emotions run higher than other humans, and since my brain isn't naturally wired for a Vulcan mating bond, I don't want to make things harder for her. Living on _Enterprise_ is hard enough for her, as you said. Now, my emotions are a part of her."

"This is why I say you have saved her, Commander," T'Lyri returned with all the enthusiasm of a person immersed in their profession. "The chemical reactions that cause emotions in Vulcans are higher than in humans, hence our need to suppress and control ourselves with logic, the human endocrine system is far more efficient in producing and regulating these chemicals and hormones, if less complex than its Vulcan counterpart. I believe it is this difference that has helped T'Pol most, because your brain processes her excess emotional output through your bond. I cannot prove this, as this is the first bond I have seen between a Vulcan and a human. However, it is the only explanation I have for the way T'Pol has been able to hold on to her control after losing Elizabeth."

A faint smile tugged at his lips, but a sigh soon followed. "I thought Vulcan physiology is superior to mine in every way," he muttered with a wry smirk.

T'Lyri's eyes widened ever-so-slightly and her left eyebrow climbed straight to her hairline. "I can without any doubt assure you that you are mistaken, Commander. Humans have superior night vision, your respiratory system is far more efficient with humidity, and I have already mentioned humanity's superior endocrine system. I am uncertain of how you came to believe this."

"Let's just say your compatriots who have a lot of dealings with humans like to present that opinion, due to humanity's biological weaknesses. Personally, I think it's because we only live into our early 100's," Trip replied, stifling a bemused chuckle.

T'Lyri tilted her head slightly and nodded. "Then the **_Kir'shara_** must guide them back to logic. Although, it is disturbing that anyone would propagate such an untruth when the empirical evidence is so easily available."

"You haven't spent much time at the Vulcan Science Academy, have you?" Trip asked.

"I have not," she answered. "Much of my study and research has been done in the smaller institutions in towns around Gol and Seleya, the former High Command had much less influence because of the ancient rights of the Orders there. As an acolyte, I had more freedom than those doctors and scientists at the Academy. While my primary training focused on the ancient healing arts, I've met so many people who struggle to have children and I am compelled to assist. Logically, I realized that to keep such efforts solely focused on my Vulcan brothers and sisters would not be in accord with IDIC. Vulcan is a part of the interstellar community and as such has an obligation to better it."

Trip's eyes widened as the proverbial light bulb lit up. "You're the _Doctor _T'Lyri that Phlox mentioned. But you're a priestess don't you have to stay at the temples?"

T'Lyri raised an amused brow. "The structure of our ancient Orders and the roles in them are quite complex. I am sure that with time you will learn the minutia of our society. I look forward to learning much about Earth when Skon and I join Ambassador Soval after our **Kali'farr**. Doctor Phlox has already offered to put me in touch with his friends in the interspecies medical program."

Before Trip could reply T'Pol suddenly slumped forward onto Solkar's chest. T'Lyri and Trip sprung up and while Trip gathered T'Pol in his arms, T'Lyri swiftly administered a Hypospray. "Be easy, Trip," Solkar assured, "The worst is over. She is not accustomed to so deep a healing trance."

Before he finished speaking T'Pol's eyes fluttered open. "**Del'haiu**, your service honors me," she rasped. She slowly straightened herself and turned to face Trip. "I have had an experience I do not yet fully comprehend. There has been so much kept from me, more than I ever suspected. However, that is for another time. The meld has helped, do you sense it?"

"Yeah, Darlin', the hurricane has dissipated to the fog over San Francisco bay. I'm so proud of you, so very proud," he murmured, extending paired fingers to her.

She pressed her fingers to his and took a deep breath. "There is more to be done. Water please."

T'Lyri served a cool cup of water and unobtrusively took readings on her scanner. "The healing centers of your brain have performed above my projected estimates. I see no reason you should not regain the control you maintained before joining _Enterprise_, with time," she stated.

Solkar nodded in agreement and poured water for himself. "I recommend one more meld. The broken bond has been healed and most of the damage due to your time in the Expanse. Still, there is more damage to repair. The attack by the female Rajin caused some imbalances that the good Doctor's scanners could not detect. What you have endured could have crippled any Vulcan, my child, you owe a great debt of gratitude to your physician and your mate. However, take satisfaction that your determination to adhere to logic and your diligence in meditation and neuro-pressure held off true disaster."

"What a relief," Trip sighed. "Drink up, T'Pol, the sooner this is over with, the sooner we can get some sleep."

"Indeed."

Solkar drank deeply and centered himself. The sheer magnitude of emotional and psionic strain his niece had endured for decades nearly startled him. Her empathic senses registered far beyond the norm for a woman of her youth without formal training. Doubtless, her natural empathy contributed to her ability to tolerate and adapt to life among humans. It also explained the strength of her young mating bond with a human. However, with such powerful senses and inclination to from bonds of various types always active, he understood her struggle for control. _'My niece is a very rare individual,'_ he mused.

He felt T'Lyri's soft touch on his shoulder. "I am well, daughter," he assured. Turning to Trip he asked, "You have done well, Trip. I commend your courage and devotion."

"But all I've done is sit still, breath deep, and chat with _Doctor_ T'Lyri," the younger man answered, with a knowing look at T'Pol.

T'Pol returned his look with her own version of _'you just realized that'_ look. "Obviously, your ability to remain calm and your own comfort to me through our bond aided this meld." Taking Trip's hand in hers she added. "Where Elizabeth once was, there is only emptiness, I will never be free of that. However, I am no longer in danger of losing control."

"I understand, all I want is for you to be healthy," Trip answered, squeezing her hand before releasing it.

"Take what time you need before we continue, child," Solkar instructed, rising to his feet. "I must contact T'Pau. Is it acceptable to use your communications display?" he asked Trip.

"Of course, sir."

* * *

Solkar went directly into the house and Skon came out to the patio. "I brought some sweet fruits for my father and you, T'Pol. I know these melds can be tiring for both healer and patient."

"You are most kind," T'Pol bowed her head gracefully and took a tiny bowl of fruits and two forks for herself and Trip. "Charles, I believe you will find these to your liking, the flavor is similar to a fig crossed with a plum, and the entire fruit is digestible. I believe they might work well in a crumble."

Trip smiled. "Not even wed yet and you're already adding recipes to the Tucker Family Cookbook. You know both sets of my grandparents have to approve new additions to it."

T'Pol elegantly speared her fruit and chewed daintily, taking care to experience the full range of its natural flavor and the sucrose surging through her bloodstream. After swallowing her eyebrow raised. "I shall endeavor not to disappoint our family's elders," she replied.

The two couples sat around the firepit listening to the sounds of evening, watching the glowing dance of the flames surrounding them, and soaking in moments of quiet and peace. The harsh and hectic events of the day slowly releasing their grip. Trip felt the agonizing tightness of the adrenaline pumping through him for weeks loosen slightly. "Is it appropriate to ask when you'll be having your **Kali'farr** ceremony, Skon," he asked as he finished his fruit.

"Of course, you are family," Skon assured. "T'Lyri must finish out her year at Seleya, I believe the date will be March 30th, 2155 of Earth's calendar."

Disappointment flared in Trip's eyes. "There's no way of knowing whether or not we could get leave to be here, but I guess that's awfully presumptuous of me, seein' how technically weddings here aren't grand events with tons of guests and two entire families showing up."

T'Lyri furrowed her brows at the description of an Earth wedding. "Of course, it would be most agreeable to have you both attend the ceremony. However, there is no logic to anticipating or regretting what has not occurred."

"Indeed," T'Pol agreed. "If possible, we should attend, but if not, we will find another way to offer our support. Either way, the we are still family."

Trip raised his hands in surrender. "I know better than to disagree with two ladies far wiser than myself, but as the only illogical human around, I'll hope we make it."

* * *

Solkar waited patiently for his wife's face to appear on the viewscreen. After a short time, she answered. "My husband, is all well?"

"I've completed the first meld with our niece, and the severed bond has been healed. There are still several other injuries to her brain that have not healed properly that need attending, one more healing meld will suffice. However, I believe she would benefit from access to the original manuscripts of T'Plana-Hath and some guidance in meditation techniques to better shield herself from the emotions of others."

T'Pau nodded briefly. "I will compile the various texts and have them ready for her."

"Has the High Council agreed on a course of action considering the latest developments."

"I believe that depends on Captain Archer's willingness to agree to a meld. He is most resistant. We simply do not have any other avenues of information to pursue at present."

"What is the reason for his resistance?"

"He is quite violently offended by our codes of privacy."

"Humans equate secrecy with evil connotations. If something must be hidden it must be harmful. There are very few circumstances where secrecy is acceptable in Captain Archer's specific culture."

"That is unfortunate, however, it offers no solution."

"I propose that merely acknowledging that you understand his culture's anathema to our way will do much good. Humans are more willing to accept what they do not like if their emotions are respected. Agreement is unnecessary."

"How illogical."

"They are different, my wife, but not inferior. I must return to our niece. May logic guide you, **t'hai'la**," he encouraged, ending the transmission.

* * *

Solkar returned to the patio and nodded at his son as he accepted a bowl of sweet fruits and another cup of water. He savored the stillness of the cool air and the flickering flames. All was quiet, the two young couples sat around him each basking in the presence of their beloved partners. His eyes discreetly wondered to the young human to his right. Deep blue eyes full of grief, pain, and adoration, bloodshot, and exhausted yet determined. The pallor of his light skin concerned the older man. He needed as much care and quiet as T'Pol. _'What he needs is a good old-fashioned cry-your-eyes-out nervous breakdown,'_ he mused hearing Lily Sloan's voice in his mind. He sipped his water and focused on flames.

"**Del'haiu**, I am prepared," T'Pol announced almost in a whisper to not disturb the peaceful atmosphere.

Solkar finished his water and nodded. "Then let us continue."


End file.
